Friday, March 31, 2006

One Volunteer Needed: Male or Female

Do we have anyone that wishes to volunteer for this?

Thursday, March 30, 2006


About ten days ago Laura and I were talking about some of the things we wanted to do when we got to Florida and scuba diving came up. It is something she has always wanted to do. I have been a certified scuba diver since 1992. My parents, who are avid scuba divers, decided it would be a good idea for me to become certified as well. I actually enjoy it a lot. It'a amazing the things you see when you are 50-60 feet under water.

I thought it would be a good idea for me to have my scuba diving card just in case Laura decided to try scuba diving. This way I could go along with her, etc. I realized that I don't have my scuba car. Keep in mind, the last time I was scuba diving was 1995. As soon as my ex and I got married I stopped scuba diving. He didn't like water that much, so I stopped diving when we would go on vacation. And he had NO interest in becoming certified.

I realize my parents have my card. I do something that I really don't want to do. I email my Mother and ask her to send me my card. Instead of getting a response from her, I get an email from my Dad. He said that he was unable to find the card, but gave me insturctions on getting a replacement. He also suggested that I take a refresher course. (I had planned on that) The entire email was matter of fact. No emotion involved in the email at all. He also said that he would mail me my dive log book. It's a book where I have kept track of all my dives. I email him back and thank him for the information. At the end of the email I wrote, "my door is always open if you want to talk and work on our relationship". I received no response from his email.

Yesterday I got my dive log book in the mail. There was no note, nothing, just the book.

In the past two years there have been occasions when I have had to contact my parents for things; past tax paperwork, dive book, car crash. One day there will be no need for me to call my parents for anything. Are they ready for that day? Are they ready for the day when I stop calling all together. Are they ready for the day when I don't remember what it's like to have them as my parents?

Last weekend in the midst of our "mini" family crisis, Laura and I were down at her parents house. Her Mom and I were in the kitchen talking and Laura and her Dad were in the living room talking. Laura later told me that her Father said, "You know that young lady sitting in the kitchen with your Mom? I love her as much as I love you Laura".

Are my parents ready for the day when I have no good memories left of them?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

21 Firsts...

21 Firsts...

1. Who was your first prom date? Chris Thompson..grew up with him. He was such a sweetheart.

2. Who was your first roommate(s)? My husband...I want to throw up just thinking about him.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? It was a school trip to Mexico for one week. I think I drank every alcohol drink put before me. I was sicker then a dog one night. I was 17.

4. What was your first job? Captain D's. I hated it!!! Will never work fastfood again.

5. What was your first car? 1973 Toyota Corolla. It cost $500 and I had to pay my parents for half. That is why I worked at Captain D's. As soon as it was paid off I quit.

6. When did you go to your first funeral? I was 9 years old. It was my Dad's Dad. Didn't know him that well.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? I still live in the place considered my hometown. I first moved out on my own (w/ my husband..yuck) when I was 21.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? I don't remember...I think it was Mrs. Merrick.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Minnesota to visit my Dad's parents.

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I don't think I ever snuck out of the house.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Chris Thompson. He was three years younger then me and lived next door. We would play together all the time. We went to prom together. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years. :(

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents house? An apartment. It was actually very nice.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Laura

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsman? My cousin Jill's.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Go pee and then have a cigarette

16. What was the first concert you ever went to? Whitney Houston. (see 100 things to learn more about that experience)

17. First tattoo or piercing? What age? I got my ears pierced when I was 11. I got the top part of my ear pierced when I was 26. It has sicne closed up. I want to get it pierced again.

18. First celebrity crush? Chad Allen (he was on the show called "Our House" w/ the Quarker Oats guy)

19. Age of first kiss? 16

20. First crush? Some guy in middle school. His locker was next to mine. I didn't think he was cute, I just wanted to have a boyfriend like everyone else.

21. First time you did drugs? 26..marijuana.

I decided to tag people to do this...
The Tropopause

And anyone else that decides to.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Finally...Some Pictures

As promised here are some pictures of our trees. And look how green our grass is. And it's not even really started raining yet.

This is our backyard. Our trees were all filled out with dead branches, etc. Notice Sophie's fire hydrant. She never uses it. Although, I think I have seen some squirrels stash some food in there during the winter.
Another picture of the back yard. This weekend we are pulling out all our summer stuff. Hammock included.
The tree closest to the driveway is ours. The one in the back is our neighbors. Sorry about the microwave in the picture. It's an old one and we thought for sure somone would have picked it up by now.
Another picture of the trees in the back. Notice the bare spots that Sophie has made due to her chasing the mailman as he goes to our house and then to the neighbors.

100 Things

1. I was adopted when I was three days old.
2. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my birth parents.
3. I used to feel guilty about thinking about my birth parents, but I no longer do.
4. When I was little my hair was blond and very curly.
5. I miss having blond hair.
6. I chew my fingernails.
7. I smoke a little more then a pack a day.
8. Laura does not realize how much I smoke.
9. My life actually began the day I met Laura.
10. No one (except her family) really knows how we met.
11. No one ever will know exactly how we met.
12. My goal in life is to grow old with Laura.
13. I want to legally marry Laura one day.
14. I want to have babies with her.
15. Sometimes I wish we could combine our DNA and create a child.
16. I sometimes wonder what our child would look like.
17. I hate living in Missouri.
18. I have always wanted to live someone where there is lots of snow.
19. I hate summer because of the heat.
20. I only like the heat when I am at the lake or the pool.
21. I can't wait for the pool to open in May.
22. The pool always opens around my b-day.
23. I secretly celebrated my b-day with my friends in high school.
24. My Mom knew I would get b-day gifts and cards from my friends.
25. She never said anything about it.
26. Four years ago I had a minor nervous breakdown.
27. During that time I put up x-mas decorations in my house.
28. My Mom knew all about it and even came to my house and saw them.
29. She never made me feel bad about having them up.
30. I have suffered with depression since I was 16 years old.
31. Some days it's hard to get out of bed.
32. I am ashamed of my depression.
33. I tend to overeat when I am happy, not sad.
34. I really miss my 4 nephews.
35. I know I will probably never see them again.
36. I have accepted that fact.
37. I have the best in-laws...ever.
38. I feel completly accepted and loved by them.
39. I never felt that with my own parents.
40. Sometimes I feel I was rejected twice in life; once by my birthmom and another time by my parents.
41. I bought my Grandmothers house when she passed away.
42. I have pictures of me as a small child in the backyard.
43. Sometimes it's weird seeing pictures of me as a child in the house I currently live in.
44. Sometimes I smell my Grandmothers perfume when I walk in the house.
45. I miss both my Grandmothers a lot.
46. They were some of the most compassionate, loving women I have ever known.
47. I sometimes wonder what they would think of how my parents are treating me.
48. I know they would accept me being gay.
49. I watch too much tv.
50. I need to exercise more.
51. I need to take better care of my diabetes.
52. Everytime my brothers girlfriends/wives have gotten pregnant they have told me first and I didn't tell my parents.
53. My brother has never kept any of my secrets to himself.
54. I do not love my brother.
55. I never have.
56. I love dragonflies.
57. I want to get a dragonfly tatoo.
58. I get jealous very easily.
59. It's usually over stupid stuff.
60. In public I am shy, but at home I am not.
61. I don't like wearing underwear when I am at home.
62. I have converted Laura to a "no underwear" lifestyle.
63. I sometimes wish I was left handed.
64. I love watching people that are left handed write.
65. I used to go to summer camp.
66. Those were some of the best days of my childhood.
67. I still check the camps website to see what's going on at camp.
68. The first time that I smoked was when I was at summer camp.
69. When I got home I told my Mom and she made me tell the elders at church.
70. This is getting hard.
71. I love Barry Manilow and I have since I was 9 years old.
72. I used to belong to Barry Manilow's fan club.
73. It cost me $12 to join.
74. The first concert I went to was Whitney Houston.
75. I went with my Dad.
76. He made me wear a dress to the concert.
77. I was so mad at him for making me wear a dress.
78. I have never liked wearing make-up.
79. I dropped out my junior year of college because I was tired of school.
80. I went back two years later and completed my degree.
81. It only took me 11 months to complete my masters degree.
82. I never thought I was smart enough to have a masters degree.
83. I am so excited about our trip to Florida.
84. There is only 11 days left til we leave.
85. 11 is my lucky number.
86. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
87. My b-day comes in a close second.
88. The individuals that I have been closest to have all been Leo's.
89. Laura's smile is the best thing.
90. Her laugh is even better.
91. My best friend growing up was my cousin Jill.
92. We have not spoken in almost two years.
93. I miss her.
94. Not all Jehovah's Witnesses are nuts.
95. But most are.
96. I hate having to pay bills.
97. Refianncing the house has enabled us to pay off all our credit card bills.
98. I never want to charge another thing for the rest of my life.
99. I love knowing that we are saving money every month for our retirement.
100. I never imagined I could be as happy as I am right now.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I Never Would Have Imagined....

Today is a lot better. We got some fairly good news regarding our situation. The good news was a huge relief. We have one more hurdle to cross in a month of so. But so far things are looking very, very good. Wish I could go into detail, but at this time I simply can't.

Last August I started this blog. It was merly just a way for me to vent about my frustrations of growing up a Jehovah's Witness and being gay. It has turned into so much more. I have people all over the country that are interested in my story and my life. I never imagined that I would find people through this blog that I honestly consider my friends. Thank you to all of you that sent good thoughts our way today. Looks like all of your prayers and good thoughts have worked. Now we can focus on more important things; like what to pack for our trip to Florida and what CD's to take along for the drive down Highway 1.

This morning as I was leaving the people showed up to trim our trees. I was so wishing I could stay home and watch them while they worked. 6 guys showed up in three trucks. One of the trucks had this long arm that looked like it would go to the top of the tree. It would have been so cool to watch them climb to the top of the trees like a bunch of monkeys. Oh well. I went home at lunch to see how the trees looked and they were all done. They had trimmed the trees, cleaned up and were gone. I will tell you this..our trees look wonderful. It's a little windy today and I was watching the branches and they seem to be swaying a little bit easier now. It's as if all the dead limbs were taken off and they feel lighter in the wind. It's kind of getting a haircut after not having one for a long time. I know I always feel lighter. I can't wait for the leaves to come in. We are going to have the best looking trees in all the neighborhood.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Our Weekend

Our weekend started out wonderful. On my way home from work on Friday I stopped and got Laura some flowers. Friday afternoon while I was at work I realized I don't get her flowers enough. She was very suprised and happy about the flowers. As I was walking in the house I said, "close your eyes" and she said, "if it's alive, don't bring it in the house." I think she was afraid I had brought home another cat or dog. She was very surprised about the flowers and I was happy to see her so happy to get some.

Saturday morning brought getting up early and doing our shopping at Home Depot. I have never spent that much money at Home Depot before. And to everyone's surprise, I never once get grumpy or in a bad mood. Thank goodness for that $200 gift certificate we received a month ago. It came in very handy.

The weekend was not completly smooth. We had a few bumps along the way and are still struggling through some of what happened. We got some very upsetting news from family as well as some personal struggles that we are working our way through. What is going on with us right now has nothing to do with us as a couple, but it's hard not going through something when your partner is going through something hard and emotional. Please keep both of us in your thoughts and prayers for the next couple of days. I can't go into detail what is going on, but we would appreciate all good thoughts that are sent our way. It is a comforting thought knowing that we have just 13 days until our much needed vacation. We kept having to remind ourselves that in two weeks we will be on the beach. Being on the beach catching some rays always makes those little "bumps" in the road easier to handle.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Weekend Plans

Everything is coming together fo easily for this whole "remodel" thing we have decided to venture into. We will be getting our new garage door a week from Saturday. For some reason I am the most excited about this. I don't know why, but I am. Our current garage door is so loud when it's opened. You can't miss anyone coming in quietly. Our bedroom is right above the garage, so it's hard to sleep through the door going up. We are also thrilled about getting a keyless entry to the garage door. I am always afraid that we will lock ourselves out of the house. Now, no worries.

We also decided to get our trees trimmed. They have needed to be trimmed for about four years now. Four years ago we had a MAJOR ice storm. They trees were so damaged. We have a total of 5 trees in the yard. I did learn something new yesterday about our trees. I guess 4 are Maple and one is an Elm. The Elm is the worst off. And it's right in the front by the driveway. Last spring I went home for lunch and it was windy and a huge limb came down on the room of my car. I always worry when we have high winds or bad storms. I am always worrying that the tree will just fall down on the house or the street. Anyway...I called someone to come out and give us an estimate on the trees and it will cost $1200 to have them all trimmed. Seems kind of high doesn't it?? Well, four years ago after the ice storm I had an estimate done and it was also $1200. We decided this is something that probably can't wait. They will be out on Monday to trim the trees.

Our plans this weekend are to buy the supplies for the bathroom, schedule someone from Home Depot to come measure our counters in the kitchen for the new countertops. We also are going to buy an elicipal trainer. (sp?) We decided it would better for us to have the equipment at our house instead of paying for a gym membership. Oh, and hopefully we'll have a little sex going on this weekend. Opps...did I say that out loud?

Did I mention we got HBO? I called and got it last night since Rosie has a special about their Gay Cruises on April 6th. We have checked out her cruises and we want to go on one of their cruises either next February or next summer. How cool would that be to go on a cruise with Rosie O'Donnell????

Thursday, March 23, 2006

April 24

I guess we really are going through with all the remodeling. We picked a company to do the construction on our bathroom and other small things throughout the house. Laura called them this morning and they will be out April 24. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess we are going out this weekend to spend lots of money at Home Depot. We need to pick out our new bathtub, pick up the tile we ordered, get the new sink and vanity, get the new toilet. So much to do.

My job today is to call the garage door people and set up a time for them to come out and put in the new garage door. Hopefully I won't panic too much. I think what I am so nervous about is the amount of money we are going to be spending. And you know there are always little extra's along the way.

It's a three day project which means we will probably have to spend one or two nights in a hotel. With only bathroom, it becomes a problem when the tile is setting and the toilet has not been placed back in it's spot yet. I don't know if I would want to be there anyway since they start working at 7am. That means I would have to wake up with Laura and not go back to sleep. At least in a hotel I can sleep in until my normal time.

I am nervous about all of this, but I do know it will probably all work out for the best. We'll have a completly new bathroom in the end. Plus other odds and ends; like new light fixtures throughout the house and an island in the kitchen. But I am still so damn nervous.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Fred Phelps

It's good to know that Fred Phelps doesn't just target individuals that are gay. Looks like he has a new target for his "moral war". All I have to say is..what a fucking freak. This is the guy that protests at funerals for gay people and people that have died in the war. The person that forwarded this to me said that Fred Phelps was recently protesting a soliders funeral and the widow of the solider went up to him and said, "why would you want to protest my husbands funeral?" His response to her was, "you are to blame also for his death." The world is not a better place because of Fred Phelps.

Where's the Snow???

The huge, city closing snow storm that was right on our door steps turned out to be nothing. DAMN. Yesterday when I left work my co-workers and I were all hoping that we would get so much snow (they were prediciting at least 8 inches) that we would have to close down today. As we left we were all giggly and saying, "I hope I don't see you tomorrow..etc." Our office manager even took home the staff phone number list just in case she needed to call everyone to say, "we're closed today". As I drove home I was thinking of all the wonderful things I was going to be able to get done today. I thought I would be able to clean out the front closet, take plently of naps and catch up on all the daytime tv I msis while I am slaving away here at work. So, last night as Laura and I sat on the couch we had a perfect view of the back door. We kept the light on so we would know exactly when the snow started. Watching the news at 6pm they were now saying that we might not get as much, but it could still cause problems for the drive in the morning. As the time passed and we were still just getting a cold, damp rain we kept reassuring ourselves.."the later it starts, the less time the plows will have to remove it from the streets."

By 10pm, and it still just raining we kind of knew that we would have to get up in the morning and go to work. Suddenly we were getting irriated with each other. Any small thing and we would snap at the other person. (like they controlled the weather) Finally by 11pm we decided that we were not getting any snow and we should just go to bed.

So here I am at work when I should be home getting ready for my first of many afternoon naps. At least I have Florida to look forward to.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Weather Upate

We woke up this morning to nothing on the ground...just rain. But they are still calling for this "major" snow storm to hit sometime this afternoon. We are suppose to get dumped with up to 8 inches of snow now. But since the weatherman doesn't have a good track record, I am not holding my breath. Laura, on the other hand is actually holding her breath that she has a snow day tomorrow.

So this morning I woke up, took a shower and started doing my hair. I all of a suddent had a "oh shit" moment when I realized my hair was not doing what it was suppose to. I quickly tried to get it to look somewhat normal. At that moment I was wishing Laura was there to help me. Finally after about 5 minutes of freaking out my hair did settle into place just fine. It was weird cause I was having it flip up in places it had never flipped up before. I was frantic. But all is well now.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Pizza, Hair Cut and A Snow Day

Another weekend that has come and gone which means only one thing: another two days closer to our trip. YEA!! Do you realize how excited we are? Three weeks from tonight we will be in Florida. It just seems like yesterday that I started the new countdown at 168 days. Now we are down to 20 days.

Friday after work we were both so tired that we just came home, ordered a pizza and hung around the house. I think we were in bed pretty early. (I don't remember really, so that must mean that we were asleep before 10pm) Saturday morning we got up and went and had breakfast and then went and got our hair done. I was so nervous. But it all turned out really well. I ended up getting about an inch taken off plus layers throughout my hair. It looks really good. (sorry..we forgot to taken recent pictures to post..and there is no way Laura is taking my picture now..I need a couple more days on working on getting it to look like it did when I walked out) Laura's hair is adoreable. You'll see when she will let me take her picture. :) After we got our haircut we went next door to Cheesecake Factory. I love that place, but their prices are outrageous. After that we were tired so we came home and took our usual weekend nap. We both LOVE taking naps in the afternoons on the weekends. There is nothing better then an afternoon nap on a gloomy day.

Saturday night Laura's parents picked us up and we went to the dog races. We had told her Mom that we would take her there for her b-day, which was in February. But with everything going on with the reception we are just now getting around to it. Laura and her Father did awesome. On one race Laura won $102 and on one race her Dad won $116. Not too bad. Laura loves the dog races so much more then the casion because at the casino you can loose $100+ in less then an hour. At the dog races you are there for 4 hours and you can win if you really know how to play. We sat in the "Kennel Club". It's a full sit down restaurant where you have perfect seats for the race. It was a lot of fun. But we always have fun when we are with her parents. They are some of the best people I have ever met.

This morning we woke up to the weather man saying we were in for a major snow storm. WTF? Just last Sunday we had something like 113 tornados hit Missouri. Now snow? So we got up and decided to get our grocery shopping done and get home. Once we got home we cleaned out our family room downstairs. Every two months the city of Kansas City does a "big item" pick-up. WE got rid of an old couch and a bunch of other shit that we will never use. It's nice having that room cleared out and ready to get to work on. Our goal is to turn it into our exercise room.

So here it is almost 10pm and so far we have only had rain. They are saying that we will have sleet most of the night and then it will turn into snow by mid morning tomorrow. Laura is praying like I have never seen her pray before for a snow day. You don't expect a snow day this late in the year. It's like an added bonus. My place of employment is pretty cool about bad weather as well. If it gets bad they always let us go early. So, let's all pray hard for a snow day for both me and Laura. They are saying we could get 4 inches. Since Kansas City doesn't know how to deal with any kind of weather, 4 inches would shut down schools and some businesses. SNOW DAY...SNOW DAY...SNOW DAY...SNOW DAY.....

Thursday, March 16, 2006

It's no fun being a loser...

Today was the day that Laura was dreading. It was the day she was to change the litter boxes. Keep in mind we have 5 cats which equals 5 litter boxes. Laura called on her way home and said she was going home to do the liter boxes. I told her (because I am such a wonderful partner), "no, I will do them when I get home." Her response was, "no a bet is a bet". I was ok with that. So, here are some pictures of when I got home and her changing the litter boxes. As you can tell, the more pictures I took, the worse her attitude got.
This was taken right when I got home. Not only was she changing the litter, but she was completly washing them out. How wonderful is that???
Here she is almost done with them. I think she was mad at me because I was kind of telling her what to do. Damn, I have such control issues...
Here she is when they were all cleaned out and she was getting ready to put the new litter in them. You can see she is excited that it's almost over and she will more then likely never have to do this again. Unless I get pregnant........

All Is Well....Again

Yesterday was much better until we got a call from the company we are refinancing from. Apparently they made a "mistake" when it came to the numbers. We were actually getting back a little bit more money, but that meant all the paperwork we signed on Friday was incorrect, at least for the figures. So..we were told that we should be receiving a packet with new paperwork to sign today. And that we had to get it back ASAP in order to get the funding. I was a little irriated, but there wasn't much I could do. We were also told that the voided check we gave the lady at closing was no where to be found. That meant we had to fax them another copy of a voided check. I was told that after we got the paperwork then the funding would come through. I instantly got a headache. It's not that we are needing the money right now, but it still bugs me when things don't get done when we were told they would get done.

When I got home Laura and I decided to go out to dinner. It was a very pleasant dinner. We then came home and we in bed by 9:30. Oh, we had programmed our DVR to tape SuperNanny on Monday night, so we came home and watched that. Things are always better when I am able to watch Jo Frost.

This morning when I got to work I faxed the voided check and called the guy helping us through this refinancing. He said that the funding should come through today? Huh? I explained to him that I thought they had to wait until they received the paperwork from us? He said, "no". He then asked if I had received the paperwork. I explained to him that it was 9:30am and that I was not at home. Duh.

At lunch I went home and the paperwork was there. I signed my part and it's just waiting for Laura to sign and then we can send it back. When I got back from lunch I called the bank to check the balance..and surprise, surprise..our money is there!!!!! What a relief!!!! My first thought was.."that money, plus if we cash in all of our retirement funds we should have enough to live in Mexico for at least 5 years." I quickly snapped back into reality.

I feel I can finally relax some now. We have the funds to start remodeling. All is well again.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


This morning I woke up and I had an anxiety attack. I haven't had one of those for years. I am not too sure what was going on. When I woke up I felt as if I had "hard butterflies". I went downstairs for a bit and then I went back upstairs and laid down for about twenty minutes. By the time Laura left I was feeling a little better, but still feeling anxious. By the time I got up to go to work I was feeling just fine. Yesterday afternoon Laura called me and said she had scheduled us to have our hair cut on Saturday. And it's not just at any place, it's her sisters salon. For some reason that really made me nervous. Change is really hard for me and I am afraid of changing my hair style. I do realize that it's long overdue, but it's still very scary for me to change my hair. When I was in the 4th grade my Mom took me to some lady who gave me a perm. I had short hair at the time so I ended up looking like Annie. I hated that hair cut. Oh, and I had short bangs. I decided then that I wanted my hair the same length. It took me 3 years, but my bangs finally grew out and my hair was the same length. I haven't changed my hair much since my sophmore year in high school. I know it's time for a change, but it's so damn hard to accept that change with open arms.

When I got home last night I was still feeling "overwhelmed" by the hair thing and the remodeling we are doing. I finally settled down and Laura and I headed over to Home Depot to look at some of the things we wanted to get for the house. It is exciting in the fact that we have picked out the new bathtub we are getting, the tile for the floor and the new sink.

This past weekend I realized something very important. For some reason between the hours of 2-5pm I very grumpy and pretty much in a bad mood. Usually by 5:30 I am ok. It's the weirdest thing. I started noticing a pattern a few weeks ago and finally put my finger on it. I think there's something called "sundowners". Maybe that's what it is?

So, here's to more pleasant afternoons. I know Laura is praying that this afternoon is a better day then yesterday.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Me & My Buddy

I came down the stairs quietly the other day to find Brady all curled up next to our Cabbage Patch Doll. It was as if he didn't have a care in the world. But then again, who would when you are in the company of your best friend.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

One Happy Homeowner

Whew! What a weekend. I am ready to go back to work tomorrow to get a break. :) Well, Friday night we signed the paperwork for the refinance on the house. It was very exciting for Laura. We then went out to dinner to celebrate. We were home and in bed by 10pm since we were so tired from the week.
Here is a picture of Laura right after we finished signing the paperwork. She wouldn't let me take a picture of her actually signing the paperwork. On Saturday morning she woke up and said she had a horrible dream that she had lost her job. I think she was a little anxious actually having signed the paperwork and it being official that she owned a home now. Saturday afternoon her nephew and his family came up as well as Laura's sister. We all went to Joe's Crab Shack for lunch. It had been years since I had crab and I forgot how much I love it. Plus the coconut shrimp. We then came home and watched the movie "Crash". It was probably one of the best movies either one of us had seen. We now see why it beat out Brokeback Mountain.
Just a picture of Sophie. Poor Sophie had a near death experience this morning. She was sitting in the dining room by one of the chairs and Brady (below) was in the chair and took off running from the chair which sent the chair flying. It landed inches away from Sophie. Well, she jumped up and looked at us like, "You know I almost died". She is so much like a little kid. I am pretty sure she was playing on my reaction as well.

A couple other things: Has anyone seen the new video by DMC and Sarah McLaughin? It's called "Just like Me" and it's a song based around the song "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin. I saw the video earlier this week and it just made me bawl. He has created a song with the chorus from the Harry Chapin song based on his adoption as a small child. Then this morning VH1 had a special about DMC going and finding his birthmom. Talk about emotional. Makes me think about my birthmom.

I have a new favorite group..for the moment. The All-American Rejects. I loved their song "Dirty Little Sercret" and really loved the video with postcards from Postsecret. Then I heard their new song "Move Along". Well, worth the $15 for the CD.

That's it for now. Oh, wait, one more thing: 26 days til Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 10, 2006

It's the Weekend...Thank God!!

I am so glad it's Friday. For some reason I have been exhausted most of this week. I have very little energy and my patience level is very, very, very low. It's been an exhausting couple of weeks. We decided to refinance the house and were all set with one company. They kept stalling and finally when I said we were going with another company, suddendly they were able to send out someone last Thursday to sign the paperwork. Keep in find, it was 5pm on Thursday. They had been dragging their feet all week and when I said we were going with another company they finally said, "ok, we'll close today". Too late. I had already started the process with another company and I am happy to say we are closing tonight. The added bonues was that this second company is able to get us a lot more money. We are able to do a lot more now around the house. Also, I am happy to say that Laura is officially on the house now. So, that means if something should ever happen to me my family can't touch the house. My will states she will receive any of my property, so that is added protection from the vultures, better known as my family.

Wednesday night we decided to go to the casino. I had gone last weekend and did very poorly, but thought I would give it another shot. We walked in with $70 each and walked out with $220. Not too bad. Plus, we had a coupon for $8 off dinner. One thing that I was mad about was when I went over to the $1 slots. I never play the $1 slots, but decided to see what $20 would do. I was only playing one token and instantly won $60. Now, if I had played the two tokens, it would have been $120. I got this one machine up to close to $100, but played it down to almost nothing. All in all it was fun.

Tomorrow Laura's oldest nephew and his family are coming up for the day. Landon is now 6 months old. I can't believe it. Anyway, I think we are going to Joe's Crab Shack. I LOVE crab legs and it's been forever since I have had them.

My goal this weekend is to 1) get lots of sleep and 2) eat lots of crab legs. Oh and BTW...29 days til our vacation. 4 weeks from tomorrow we will be on our way. I need a vacation more then anything in the world.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


I was speechless when I heard on the news yesterday that Dana Reeves passed away. Nothing could be more sad. I feel for her family and especially their 13 year old son. I can't imagine losing both my parents as well as a Grandmother all in less then 18 months. Hearing of stories like this really makes me think about quitting smoking. If someone that has never smoked can get lung cancer, imagine what I am doing to my lungs.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Last week I had someone place a comment on my blog in reference to my post JW Humor. Thank goodness I have placed the comment moderation in place that way I can see who is saying what on my blog. Because it is my blog. I was asked why I am starting shit and why I am not just letting things drop. This person stated that they come from a similar religion and that they have no problems with their family or other members of this church even though they have been kicked out as well. Here is the difference:

My family does not talk to me and the current members of this cult (JW) will not associate with me.

This person that placed this comment has NO idea what this religion-cult has put me through. And as long as they continue to make it seem like they are better then me because they are talking to their family or the fact that they are nice to the members of their ex-church, they will never understand.

It is my right, as well as my duty to tell people about the religion Jehovah's Witness. I believe that there are many other people out there that are suffering right now just like I have suffered in the past. When you decide that you no longer want to be a JW, the church makes it almost impossible to have any kind of relationship with your family. They preach and they teach that you are not to have any contact with someone in your family that has been disfellowshipped. I know this from the years and years of talks I heard growing up. And I am sorry to say that when I was younger I would treat people that were disfellowshipped exactly that way I am being treated. Laura and I shop all the time at this one particular Wal-Mart. It is about 2 miles from my old congregation. I run into people there all the time. Even when I smile to them, they simply turn their heads and keep walking. So, it's not as if I am not trying to be nice to them.

My family: When I was first disfellowshipped my Mother told me that I was no longer welcome in their house and that even if I came to the house, she would leave. She would stay at a hotel if she had to. I have invited both my parents out to dinner to try to "work things out" and they have said, "NO". Laura and I ran into my Dad last Christmas. We were both at this place having lunch and we invited him to come sit with us. He did come and sit with us, but wouldn't even make eye contact with us. He was more concerened about how much money I was making at my new job. When he had not spoken to me in 5 months, you would think he would try to come up with someone else to talk about, like, "how are you?" Christmas of 2004 I bought my nephews presents. They are still in our basement wrapped because I was told I can not be around my nephews.

Considering all that this religion-cult has put me through as well as my family I could have ended up being a very bitter angry person. I am entitled to have my days where I need to rant and rave. That was the purpose of creating this blog. I wanted a place where I could safely release the feelings I was having. Instead I have some people that come to this blog thinking they can continue to treat me with no respect. And I will not put up with it. I lived my life for so long with no respect in my life; either from others of myself. Thankfully I no longer live my life this way.

Instead of living my life being angry and bitter I am loving every small thing that life gives me. I wake up each day that I have someone in my life to love and that loves me. I am thankful that we are both working and able to enjoy life. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and a warm place to put my head at night. Life is to short to worry about all the small things. At this moment I do not have time to worry about my family not talking to me. I wish it were different, but I will never be able to change them. I have to give up trying to "make them like me". It will never work and I will end up being miserable, like I was for years.

Monday, March 06, 2006

I Won!!

It's official, I won the contest. So, this coming weekend Laura has to not only do the laundry, but she has to also change the liter boxes. She is not happy about that. Infact, she is pissed. She later told me that she should have never bet against me since I read all those "god damn Hollywood magazines". I told her she should start reading those magazines when I bring them home. She was in the mood to listening to my suggestions.

We were very shocked that Crash won the best picture. We haven't seen it, but it's on our list for this week to watch. I thought Reese Witherspoon was adoreable. We wanted her to win just so we could hear her acceptance speech. You can't get much cuter then Reese.

So, please keep Laura in your prayers and thoughts this coming weekend. She will not be in a good mood doing the laundry and the god awful liter boxes. But a bet is a bet.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Here Kitty Kitty

I can't believe it's already Sunday night. Why is it that two days during the work week seem to take forever, but then the two days we are off during the weekend seem to just fly by? It was a fun weekend. Laura worked until 1am Saturday morning. They had a lockdown for the 7th grade girls. At first she was going to stay all night, but decided at about 12:30am to come home. She is still trying to get over a cold she has had for about 3 weeks now. Then bright and early Saturday morning (8am) we had our security system installed. Well, we already had one in the house, but it was a different company we were going with and they put in a whole new system. After the guy left I went to the casino. Laura was still tired and I knew she would sleep most of the day. So, I headed up to the boat. Didn't win anything, but it was still fun. Here are some weekly pictures our cats.

We had the dog bed in the living room for the dog, but Brady decided that this is where he wanted to sleep. He didn't even open his eyes when we took this picture. He was out like a light.
Here's Ben. I just thought this was a cute picture of him. He he not at all camera shy. In fact, I think every time I bring out the camera, he poses.
Here's Bonk (a.k.a. Stay). Would you believe this cat is 18 years old. She is such a sweetheart. A lot of people don't understand her because for many years she was very bitchy and didn't like people very much. She has really come into her personality and is such a sweetheart. She always jumps on the bed at night and "meows" her little heart out. Same thing in the morning. It's as if at night she is telling all about her day and in the morning she is telling us her plans for the day.

Well, time for the Oscars. Go Brokeback Mountain. Although, last night we watched "Walk The Line" and it was very good. I am hoping Reese wins for best actress. Laura and I have a friendly bet going. If I win she has to do the laundry next weekend, plus change the liter boxes. If she wins, she gets to take the Honda to work while I wash the inside and outside of her car.

Friday, March 03, 2006

JW Humor

It's been a while since I have posted anything about Jehovah's Witnesses and I thought today would be a wonderful day to post something. Here is a cartoon I found on the net. And I swear the two guys in the cartoon were in my congregation. What the cartoon says is so true. Not only are JW's blatant, but they also have no regard for your

privacy. They couldn't care if you were in the middle of something. They will just try to kill you with their fake kindness. How do I know their kindness is fake? My own experience. How can you one minute call someone your "brother or sister" and then the next minute want nothing to do with them. FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.

When I was disfellowshipped the first time I went back for the Memorial. Let me explain what the Memorial is. There is only one holiday that JW's will celebrate and it's called The Memorial. They celebrate it the same night as the first night of Passover. (or maybe the night before passover)'s usually right around the same time as Easter. They "celebrate" Jesus' death. So, this first time I was disfellowshipped I went back to the Memorial just to please my Mother. I had a friend go with me. The next day she gave her view on the whole situation. She said they are well dressed robots. That is so true. The next time JW's come walking down your street, watch them. They move just like robots. They are spoon fed everything they are suppose to say when they are out in neighborhoods. Whenever I see them walking down the street I always feel sorry for the kids. You know the kids do not want to be there. I remember my Mom forcing me to go out door to door. I hated it so much. How awakward is it for you when you are a teenager to have to go up to complete strangers and tell them about your church and try to get them to convert. It's torture. Did I mention that you are required to get at least a few hours in a month? If you don't the Elders come knocking on your door wondering why you aren't sharing the good news. Give me a fucking break.

When I was a small child I used to answer questions at church because it made my Mom happy. Well, once I hit my teenage years I didn't want to answer any more questions. My Mom would do anything to get me to answer. She would bribe me...anything to make it look like her daughter was growing up to be a well dressed robot. She even did that after I was married. I was no longer living with her but she would still say, "aren't you going to answer".

You can not imagine how much of a relief it is to not be involved in that religion anymore. They know who I am and I don't have to hide anything. Every once in a while I run into a JW in a store. They just stare at me like, "I can't believe Jehovah has allowed her to continue living even though she is so evil". They do looked shocked to see that I am out and about. I always smile to them. I want them to see that I am not ashamed of who I am or where I am in my life. They don't know what to do when I smile at them. When the JW's come to my door and I explain to them that I am disfellowshipped you should see them run. It's as if they have just seen the devil. I think it's funny as hell to see their facial expressions change when I tell them that I am disfellowshipped. Always gives me a good laugh.

Thursday, March 02, 2006


As I was talking to a dear friend tonight I was telling her one of my goals. She very gracefully said, "you have some of the most unique goals. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth." So, I thougt I would share some of my goals with all of you. Yes, some of their are odd and will probably cause you to chuckle. But here they are:

1) To one day be put in the Blogger Hall of Fame. In other words; have my blog as a "Blog of Note".

2) To one day win a monetary jackpot from Club Pogo.

3) To come back from Florida with a tan that is as good as my tan at the end of the summer.

4) To visit all 50 States

5) As much as I love and adore my Sophie-Dog (who is part border collie), I would love to own a purebred Border Collie one day

6) To go to NYC and stand in front of Good Morning America's window and be on the air.

7) To go visit the hometowns of Laura Ingalls Wilder (With one of her houses being in Missouri, I don't know why I haven't gone yet)

8) To go up to Northern Minnesota and visit the camp I went to as a child. And to also go see the little town that my Grandparents (Dad's Parents) lived in.

9) To see Barry Manilow's show in Las Vegas (plus play a few slots)

10) To convert Laura to a Barry Manilow fan (won't hold my breathe on this one)

11) To visit every Real World House (have been to the one in SF, and will stop by the one Key West)

12) Break the habit of chewing my finger nails.

13) To win the lottery at least once, even if it's a small jackpot.

As you can tell from my list, some will never come true. But hey, a girl can dream can't she.

Taken back to 1991-1992

This morning as I was running out the door I stopped and quickly looked over our CD's to find something new to listen to on my way to work. My eyes quickly came upon the CD by The Williams Brothers. This is a CD that I bought way back in 1991. I remember driving to school my senior year listening to this CD. My friend that I drove with that year grew to love this CD.

She wasn't a huge fan at first, but I played it so much that she couldn't help but learn to like it. So, as I was driving to work I was taken back to those mornings of driving to school with no worries except who would be my prom date, what I would wear to graduation. Oh, to have no worries. I think this is one of my most favorite CD's. All the songs were written by the two brothers. I think CD's and songs mean more when the person singing them has actually written the songs themselves.

Now back to the real world. Last night we had a security system company come out so we could sign a contract to have our system hooked back up. About 3 years ago I didn't renew the contract because I didn't think I really needed it. Last weekend we went to the Home Show and this company was there. We loved what they were offering and the price we would be paying a month. While we were at the Home Show we filled out a million forms for the give aways each company was having. When the guy came out he said, "didn't you sign up for our give away." We couldn't remember, but apparently we had. Guess what we won??? We won a $200 gift certificate to Home Depot. Can you believe that. And just in time for us to start the renovations on our bathroom and the rest of the house.

Needless to say I am feeling pretty lucky today. Maybe I should try my luck at the casino. It's just a 15 minute drive from work. No, better now test my luck.