Friday, February 29, 2008
"Eating the roofing material or tar is prohibited"
I would love to know why they had to put that in there. After reading this I decided it would be a good idea to read the entire lease agreement. It sounds like it could be pretty funny.
After signing the lease and doing an inspection on the apartment I went to take some things over. I am having to move a few things, but thankfully most of it will be done by the movers. I took Mr. Fish over and he seems to be adapting well to the new environment. It was kind of a bumpy ride and I did spill some water.
As I was taking a few things in my apartment I realized how small the space really is. For some reason the kitchen seemed bigger when I first looked at the apartment. I have almost no cabinet space. Both the refrigerator and stove are so small compared to what I have now. I may be selling some things on Craigslist because I will not have room to store them.
As I stood in the apartment I couldn't help but feel proud. Yes my home will be small, but it will not be lacking in warmth and love.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
When I first started this blog it was for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. I talked mainly about being raised a Jehovah's Witness and how that affected my life. It was a huge turning point when I changed the name of the blog to where I was not looking at myself as a label. When I changed the name of the blog it became more personal. I was no longer looking at the past but was living in the moment.
When I changed the name to Mirror Images, I think it was a point in my life where I was looking outward to all those in my life. This has been an amazing experience for me because I realized I am surrounded by so much love. It's pretty amazing to look at all those in your life and to have so much love reflecting back to you.
This weekend I will be starting a new chapter in my life. Don't worry, I am not going to change the name of my blog or address. But I am going to take a small break.
Lately I feel like I am not being as honest on my blog as I had in the past. There is so much I want to share and most of it is very personal. I feel that taking a break to allow my mind to focus on the move will be best for right now. I need to focus on saying goodbye to all the good and bad memories that I have had in this house. There is a lot of letting go that needs to take place and I feel that I need to focus on that right now.
I hope everyone comes back this weekend for day one of the new and improved Caroline
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Hey Sophie, I have some really exciting news for you!!
Then it was time to talk to the newest member of our family:
He really didn't respond. (Please do say some prayers for Mr. Fish. He isn't looking so good after I moved him to the small fish bowl)
It was then time to break the news to Bonk and here was her response:
I am 21 and barely remember who I am every morning. Do you really think I care that we are moving. And by the way, please stop taking my picture.
And finally it was time to talk to Ben. I am the most worried about him because he gets scared of his own shadow. Here was Ben's response:
Um, I have a question. When did we vote on this move because I sure don't remember voting for this.
I do believe this weekend will be very very interesting. But a time like this reminds me of one of my favorite Little House episodes: As long as we are together, we will be fine.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
So, I went on a date last night. I had been talking with this woman for the last couple of days and she seemed really cool. There was one very strange thing: She has the same name as MG. When she first sent me an email I thought it was MG and I was like WTF? It was a relief to know it was not MG.
We decided to meet last night. But I quickly realized that her intentions were not the same as mine. First of all, she is married. And second, her husband and her are swingers. Thankfully the look on my face will make her realize I am not into whatever games she was trying to play.
I know one day I will look back on all of this and laugh, but I am starting to think I am a magnet for freaks.
Have a great Sunday!!!!!!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
We had a client come in for outpatient and he was obviously drunk. He ended up blowing a .238, which would explain why he was having trouble walking and slurring his words. As the nurse and counselor called the non-emergency ambulance I sat with this client. He was talking, but making no sense and I just sat and listened to him. When the ambulance arrived he looked at me and said, "Caroline, you're a good person despite what everyone else says."
I am still laughing about what he said.
So, now the important question is: What is everyone else saying about me?
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The energy you put out into the world is exactly what you get back in life. A few months ago I was watching a Joel Osteen sermon and he said that when you have something bad in your life happen, what God gives you back is usually even better then the original thing/person you lost. And that is truly how I have viewed every bad thing that has happened to me in the last year. Whatever I lost, whether that is material things or people, my reward will be even better then the original thing I lost. It may not be right away when I get my rewards, but I know that the wait will be worth it.
Even though I am not happy for something bad/wrong happening to anyone and I hate to tell someone I told you so, but I told you so.
P.S. You might watch this video.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I think Sophie is a little confused when I ask if she wants to go for a car ride. Silly dog goes running upstairs. I guess I won't worry unless she goes running down to the garage when I ask her to go upstairs. Watching this video makes me love that crazy dog even more.
P.S. I have been told that I have a southern accent, which I really don't think I do. What do you guys think???
Monday, February 18, 2008
I am feeling blessed with what I do have and with all the love and support that is surrounding me. I don't know if there has been another time when I have felt so loved, appreciated and cared for. It truly is an awesome feeling.
I am coming up on the last week in the house. And this time I think it's for good. And I am OK with that and really looking forward to the move. I realized that this is the first time that I will truly have a place of my own. Before it was either my ex husband or Laura that I lived with and shared a home. Even in the 4 years between my ex-husband and Laura my parents were there and kind of controlled what I did and didn't do, so I really wasn't on my own.
Even though I am coming to this feeling a little later then most, I suddenly feel all grown up.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The airport is closed and they are calling for at least 6 inches of snow. It's windy and we are expecting white out conditions. It's a wet snow, which means it's sticking to everything and making the roads horrible. I think I am in for the day. Good thing I rented 3 movies yesterday and didn't watch any of them. It's looking like a movie kind of day.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
It's Friiiiiiiday!!! And when it's payday, it's extra special.
I don't have any big plans for the weekend. I do have my tech meeting tomorrow which means no sleeping in. Darn. After that I am just going to pack some more and get ready for the big move. I also plan on renting lots of movies this weekend. I am needing some suggestions as to what I should watch. Anything new out there that you would recommened?
Have a great weekend everyone!!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
So let's talk a little bit about superstitions. Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness we were taught that there were no such things as superstitions and they were just the work of the devil anyway. A couple people from work were talking about them the other day and it got me thinking about any superstitions I have. The only one that I can really think of is kind of silly I think. I take the same highway to work everyday. Right when I get on the highway there is this one part where there is a small section of extra concrete and when you drive over it it's like going over a small speed bump. Most people avoid it, but somewhere along the line I thought that if I drive right over it then I will have a good day. There have been a couple times when I have been in the other lane and missed it and my day was usually really bad. So every morning I make sure I am in the lane of this one spot and I make sure I drive over it everyday. Kind of crazy isn't it? I am sure the only thing I am getting from this is tire more worn out on that side.
So, what are some of your superstitions?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Things are never what they seem and I am realizing that. All the way home from the movies Laura was talking to her and I wonder why I didn't see a problem with that. It really shows me that I gave up a lot of what made me happy for someone else. I will never do that again. I am perfect the way I am and I should never have to change that for anyone. I am thrilled that I have finally realized that because in the end I am happier when I love myself with no conditions.
Do I wish I was with someone in a wonderful relationship? Of course I do. But I am slowly realizing that it's OK that I am single and it's OK for me to spend some time figuring out who I am and what I want out of life.
So until I find that perfect person that is made just for me, I will enjoy getting lots of kisses from:
Notice she is blowing me a kiss.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
So I came home and got online and while I was doing the return I remembered that I had paid out some on my dental work at the beginning of the year. Thirty minutes later I was done and I will be getting more then $87 back from federal and $11 from Missouri. So, I am pretty happy with the results tonight. And if you add the $600 we are suppose to be getting from the government in the spring; my return is actually pretty nice.
Is it just me or are others tired of all the political stuff? Don't get me wrong, I am interested in what is going on, but this is only February. That means 9 more months of hearing the candidates talking trash about the other person, etc. And don't even get me started on some of the blogs out there.
I've had two techs quit in the last two days. That means I have two full-time positions open right now. So, if any of you are interested in having the best boss in the world, just let me know. :)
Pick the month you were born:
March--------I karate chopped
May----------I jumped on
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
7-------my mobile phone
8-------m y dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
11-------my science teacher
14-------a stuffed animal
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
25-------a football player
31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-------- ---because I'm crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000
Orange--------bec ause my family thinks I'm stupid
Brown---------because I can..
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Lately the house has been making the strangest noises. When Sophie cat was here I could always tell she was coming down the stairs because the way the stairs would creep. (Remember, she was kind of a large cat) Well, the last few weeks there has been the same creeping sound on the stairs. I always look up expecting to see a cat or the dog walking on the stairs. But then I look around and all the pets are asleep. It really is the weirdest thing and it always creeps me out when I hear it.
Well, the last few weeks I have been noticing more noise coming from the house. I know some may thing I have really lost it by saying this, but I really have felt my Grandmothers spirit more in the last few weeks and I wonder if she is trying to communicate something to me. Part of me wonders if she is upset because I am losing the house. Out of all her Grandchildren I was the one that was able to buy the house and here I am losing it. I feel horrible that I am about to lose my house, but when you add the fact that it was my Grandmothers the guilt is overwhelming.
I am so sorry Grandma and I hope you can forgive me.
Well, when I was six weeks old my parents took me to Minnesota to visit my Dad's parents. During the visit my parents were going through some old family stuff and came across someone on my Dad's side that was named Caroline Ann. I can't imagine doing this after six weeks, but my parents decided right then and there that my name was going to change. I have several pictures of msyelf when I was a baby that say Jennifer and Jimmy on the back of the picture. My baby book has Jennifer Jane marked out and Caroline Ann written right next to it.
Growing up I hated my name. I didn't know anyone else that had my name except for one or two Carolyn's. And everyone spelled it wrong. I think part of the reason it was always spelled wrong was because my family pronounced it Carolyn and not Caroline. The summer between 5th and 6th grade I told everyone that my name was spelled Carolyn and insisted that everyone change the spelling. That lasted the summer and I eventually went back to spelling it correctly.
Now that I am an adult I love my name and I would never consider changing it.
So, my question for all of you: Do you like your name? Have you ever thought about changing it?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
One of the things that upset me so much last week was I got a letter from the city. There is one very small part on the front of my house where the wood is rotten and the paint has started to chip. Really, it's not that big of a deal, but I guess to the city it is. I know for certain one of my neighbors turned me into the city. What I don't understand is, there are houses all around me that are literally falling apart, but the city is worried about this one little board. It just doesn't make sense. I wonder if the neighbor that turned me in would want the city knowing that he is running a used car lot from his house? Yea, I think that violates a few codes.
Here are some pictures I took of Ben this weekend. I think he is tired of me taking his pictures.
Have a great week everyone.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Up until a year ago, I was encouraged not to share too much on my blog. If you go back and read the first two years of my blog you will see that I really only shared the good things that were going on. I wonder if I had been more honest in my writing if things would have turned out differently. At some point in the past year I decided that in order for me to truly heal and let go of things I would need to put it out there so I could no longer ignore it either.
Even though I still struggle with my self-esteem, I think overall my self-esteem is pretty healthy. I don't hide anything anymore and I am honest almost to a fault. One of my better traits is I can not lie. And if I try to lie, you will see right through me and know I am lying. If you don't believe me, just ask Lynilu. :)
The point of this post: I think I am just thankful that I have found my safe place to write and share my life. I used to be really afraid of people finding out what I was really thinking or feeling. My thoughts now are: what you see is what you get. If you can't accept everything about me then I don't have time for you. In the end we are all the same and in this thing called life together. Life is too short to spend it with people that hate instead of love.
I would also like to thank each of you for sharing on your blogs. You have no idea how much strength and courage I get from reading your blogs. I read what some of you are going through and how you are handling things with so much grace and it helps me become a better person. You guys are the best and I just wanted you to know that.
Friday, February 08, 2008
You are beautiful and you are pefect exactly the way God made you. Don't be so hard on yourself, have more confidence in yourself and love yourself more. Do not depend upon others to define who you are and always be true to yourself.
There will come a time when you will have to redefine what family means. Just because your family walks away from you, that does not mean there is anything wrong with you.
Always remember that you have a purpose and there is a reason you are on this earth.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
All of last night Sophie was right next to me and even allowed me to lay my head on her. (Sophie is not a cuddler, so this was nice) And when I got home tonight she was so excited to see me you would have thought it was Friday.
2) When I got home Lynilu had left me a message saying, "This is Lynilu...You need to call me!" My first thought was, "uh oh, what did I do?" Turns out she was just really worried about me since she had not heard from me all day and I had not blogged. It's nice to know that I am missed in bloggerland; even if it's just for one day.
3) My best friend invited me to lunch here. Not only was the food wonderful, but it was my first time at Kansas City's Union Station. I am going to try to go back this weekend and really look around and take some pictures.
4) I work with some of the best people and it becomes more clear each day how lucky am.
I think this is a good start to finding that positive attitude again.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Here are some of the thoughts that are going on in my mind today:
~I am really OK with being single, but there are so many things right now that I wish I had someone to share with. One of the worst feelings is feeling like I am alone. Technically I know I am not alone, but sometimes I really feel like I am fighting this battle by myself. I hate these days when I can't seem to see all the wonderful people in my life that are there for me.
~When I spend 45 minutes talking with a client and then the next day they call me a bitch, it really hurts. Sometimes I wonder about my decision to become a social worker.
~I am really angry with her right now. I got yet another bill in the mail that is her responsibility. She checked out 3 books with my library card in 2005 and lost them. I got a letter from the library saying I need to pay $105 or it will go to a collection agency. When will her surprises stop?
~The last few weeks I really think Sophie gets depressed when I leave in the morning. She was so used to having someone home during the day and I wish she could understand that I have to leave in the morning.
I am going to go home now and hopefully find that positive attitude I had just a few days ago.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Monday 4pm: 67 degrees and sunny
Monday 11pm: 35, cloudy and cold
Tuesday 6am: Cold, rainy and thunderstorms
Tuesday 4pm: Cold with 3-5 inches of snow expected before midnight
Gotta love Kansas City weather. Yesterday was nice and I decided that if it was that way June-September then I wouldn't be so grumpy during the summer.
Please go over and say Hi to Lynilu . She is feeling under the weather and I know lots of comments would make her feel better. If you have never chekced out Lynilu's blog, you are missing out on one very cool lady.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I am sleeping good at night, so I don't think that is the problem. I think I am just feeling overwhelmed with having to move again. It's hard work to move and I hate that I seem to be doing the moving by myself. I am going to have the moving company move most of my stuff, but there are things they won't take in the truck; like pictures and lamps.
I am excited about getting into the apartment so the pets and I can be in one place for a while, but I am also sad that I am losing the house. I have been in this house for ten years and I remember how excited I was when I moved in. And now, ten years of hard work and making all my payments on time don't seem to matter at all.
But I know it will all be OK in the end, even if my heart is broken a little bit.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
When I was 14 my brother had a girlfriend that just left a cat at my parents house. We ended up keeping this cat, whose name was Samantha. No one really liked the cat because she didn't seem to have much personality. Well, after a few months we changed her name from Samantha to Bonkers. We named her that for two reasons: 1) We thought she had a crazy attitude and 2) We had these treats called Bonkers and everytime we would shake the box she would come running.
When I got married and moved out I decided to take Bonk with me. The first two days in the apartment Bonk hid behind the microwave. Bonk used to be a lot like Ben and was very afraid of anyone that came in the house. Then 4 years ago something changed. Bonk suddenly was not afraid of anything and became the most friendly cat I have ever had, besides Brady of course.
In the last four years I feel like I have a totally new cat. I now have a cat that greets everyone that comes in the door, loves to be held and had decided that her name is now "Stay". When I was working with Sophie on getting her to stay, Bonk decided that was her name. Such a silly cat.
Here are some of my favorite pics of Bonk:
Here she is supervising Sophie.
Her favorite place to nap. (notice who is behind her)
Second favorite place to nap; next to Sophie
Showing me attitude.
Happy Birthday sweet Bonk.
Be sure to check out my previous post. Sophie and I decided to make a video for Bonks Birthday.
Today is Bonks 21st Birthday and she doesn't look a day over 10. She is such a sweet girl and has been the one constant thing in my life since I was 14.
Last night Sophie and I tried to make a video wishing Bonk a Happy Birthday, but as you can see Sophie was more interested in the ice cream I had.
Happy Birthday Bonk!!!
Saturday, February 02, 2008
My house is about 1400 square feet and my new apartment is just under 500 square feet. That means I have a lot of downsizing to do as well. I have always had a hard time letting go of stuff and I have a lot of sorting that I need to do in the next month. Anyone want to come help me sort and pack? :)
Besides trying to find the motivation to start packing, I don't have much planned this weekend. This morning I slept until 10am. I haven't done that in years and it felt wonderful.
Be sure to come back and visit tomorrow so you can wish a special lady in my life a Happy 21st Birthday.
Friday, February 01, 2008
"Yeah, It's my Karma I need to be worried about. After all, It's your girlfriend Laura who left you. It's your pets that are dying off left and right. It's you who is losing your house. But it's my Karma.
Seems that Karma has caught up with someone... but it sure as hell isn't me."
I never think about quitting blogging and I don't regret sharing my story.
The wonderful people I have met via my blog make up for all the bad.
Good always wins.
Well, a few weeks back I started saying something a little different on Fridays. When I get out of the shower I say to her, "It's Friiiiiday". I think she gets more excited from this because she knows that means I will be home for 2 days.
So, to all of you.....It's Friiiiiiiiday!!!!
Have a great weekend.