Monday, February 11, 2008

Noise

As I have said before, the house I live in belonged to my Grandmother. When she passed away in 1996 my ex-husband and I bought the house. Ever since I have lived here I have felt my Grandmothers presence. I used to be able to smell her perfume when I would walk in the door. I have always felt like her spirit is really in this house.

Lately the house has been making the strangest noises. When Sophie cat was here I could always tell she was coming down the stairs because the way the stairs would creep. (Remember, she was kind of a large cat) Well, the last few weeks there has been the same creeping sound on the stairs. I always look up expecting to see a cat or the dog walking on the stairs. But then I look around and all the pets are asleep. It really is the weirdest thing and it always creeps me out when I hear it.

Well, the last few weeks I have been noticing more noise coming from the house. I know some may thing I have really lost it by saying this, but I really have felt my Grandmothers spirit more in the last few weeks and I wonder if she is trying to communicate something to me. Part of me wonders if she is upset because I am losing the house. Out of all her Grandchildren I was the one that was able to buy the house and here I am losing it. I feel horrible that I am about to lose my house, but when you add the fact that it was my Grandmothers the guilt is overwhelming.

I am so sorry Grandma and I hope you can forgive me.

6 comments:

Lynilu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lynilu said...

Have you considered, honey, that she might be saying it is OK for both of you to move on? Time for her to let go and time for you to move ahead. Maybe?

Sorry for the removal and repost. Dumb errors!

Julie said...

Darn that Lynilu - she comes in here fast and says exactly what I was going to say!-:)
I bet that's exactly what she's saying. Maybe she's still around to look after you, and this is one step towards moving on.

Sonya said...

Maybe Grandma is packing up and coming with you!

I'm sorry you feel so guilty about it all. You must be in a really tough emotional spot. I'm really hoping that in the end, moving out of Grandma's house will set you free. While it contains a lot of memories of Grandma and all, I think it also contains a lot of baggage that could be holding you back.

Patti said...

Caroline from the things you have said about your Grandmother I am betting she is trying to offer you comfort and say "It's Okay".

B.E.C.K. said...

I would bet your grandmother is okay with it; she knows houses ultimately don't matter. :)