Saturday, February 09, 2008

The Courage to Share

I have a lot of people in my life that just don't understand why I blog and share so much with people I don't know. I have even wondered myself why I chose to share so many private and personal things on my blog. It wasn't until I was writing a comment to Julie that it all made sense to me. It still amazes me how many wonderful people I have met via this blog and how much inspiration and courage I get from your lives.

Up until a year ago, I was encouraged not to share too much on my blog. If you go back and read the first two years of my blog you will see that I really only shared the good things that were going on. I wonder if I had been more honest in my writing if things would have turned out differently. At some point in the past year I decided that in order for me to truly heal and let go of things I would need to put it out there so I could no longer ignore it either.

Even though I still struggle with my self-esteem, I think overall my self-esteem is pretty healthy. I don't hide anything anymore and I am honest almost to a fault. One of my better traits is I can not lie. And if I try to lie, you will see right through me and know I am lying. If you don't believe me, just ask Lynilu. :)

The point of this post: I think I am just thankful that I have found my safe place to write and share my life. I used to be really afraid of people finding out what I was really thinking or feeling. My thoughts now are: what you see is what you get. If you can't accept everything about me then I don't have time for you. In the end we are all the same and in this thing called life together. Life is too short to spend it with people that hate instead of love.

I would also like to thank each of you for sharing on your blogs. You have no idea how much strength and courage I get from reading your blogs. I read what some of you are going through and how you are handling things with so much grace and it helps me become a better person. You guys are the best and I just wanted you to know that.

14 comments:

Cheeky said...

Good for you for finding your place.....you don't have to defend it - its yours.

LostInCO said...

:)
I've only recently started blogging and I am impressed with how supportive and positive bloggers. And if they are being asses, that is why there is a delete key. take care.

Caroline said...

cheeky--i think the most important lesson i have learned this past year is i am OK exactly the way i am.

lostinco--i had no idea when i started my blog that i would find such wonderful and supportive friends through this process.

gagirl said...

I appreciate your honesty....reading blogs gives me hope and encouragement in a world that feels so hostile to me and my choices.

traci said...

Awesome my dear! Good work. I'm glad to see you letting your true self shine through. Brava!

Julie said...

I feel the same way. I told V the other day that if I won the lottery, I'd send airline tickets to all of my blog friends for a weekend in Cabo or something,so we could all finally hang out. In the meantime, reading your blog (and those of other pals) really is a bright spot in the day. And if we didn't actually share the hard stuff, it would be disingenuous.

Caroline said...

gagirl--thanks for stopping by and commenting. i agree with you, most of my courage to share is because of all the blogs i read and their honesty.

traci--thank you so much. you should be proud of yourself as well...you have done such a good job at letting the true traci shine.

julie--i feel so much closer to my blog friends then most of my IRL friends.

Lynilu said...

Great post, Caroline! I know you are coming closer to the real you, and I love seeing that!

"My thoughts now are: what you see is what you get. If you can't accept everything about me then I don't have time for you." Do you remember what Glenn used to say sometimes? "Accept me as I am ... totally unacceptable." Hurrah for you! Just being yourself is enough, 'cause you're just fine! <3

Lynilu said...

OH, pish. I just reread that ... I think you know I don't mean you are unacceptable, but let me dispel that confusion if there is some, just in case. I simply meant that if someone sees you as unacceptable, tough cookies, 'cause it's their problem with perception, and they can just move on 'cause you're gonna stay YOU!!

whew.

Caroline said...

lynilu--lol..yes i knew what you meant, but thanks fo clarifying it. you know how my trolls love to take things and run wild with them. one thing i have noticed is..the people that have wanted me to change for them are never happy...so i have learned that never change for someone because it will never be good enough for them.

Fern said...

I appreciate your honesty. I have derived so much strength during the rough times in my life from people being honest about their similar situations, and have been hurt so deeply at other times by people trying to make things look good, when really things weren't good at all.

Patti said...

I am glad you have a safe place to share also. Something we all need.
Must go lie down now, feeling ooky.

Sonya said...

I'm glad that writing has helped/encouraged your healing!

beans said...

glad i have been introduced-i look forward to getting to know you better, and learning and growing together .hope you are well.