Monday, March 17, 2008

One Year Later

Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick's Day. It was cold and rainy in KC so I am sure the parade (KC has the 3rd largest in the nation) was not as much fun as it usually is. Would you believe I didn't wear any green today? People thought I was crazy especially since my last name is Murphy. I found a green star sticker and put it on my name there. :)

I have been doing a lot of thinking about where I was last year at this time. If you go back and read this post you will see the absolute desperation in my writings. I remember sitting at home that first night after she went back to Shreveport to be with her. I literally felt like my heart was being pulled out of my chest and there was nothing I could do.

I am very happy with the progress I have made in the past year. My life is so completely different, but it is so much better in all areas. Yes I may not have my 3 bedroom house anymore, but the home that I have now is warm and cozy and truly feels like home. My house had gotten to the point where it felt big and cold. I don't ever want to live somewhere that does not have that warm and cozy feeling. My brother brought up that karma is a bitch and that is why I am now living in such a small place. Well, the truth is I am thrilled to be making my life more simple. I think sometimes it's easy to get all caught up in material things and we forget what life is really about.

When I was with Laura we always had more then enough money. I recently found an old ATM slip from the summer of 2006. Our account balance was close to $8,000, but thinking back on that time I was not happy and I didn't know why. I think I was pretending to be happy, but in reality I was far from happy and content. I think the lesson that I have learned this past year is that money does not buy happiness. I also learned that it's OK not to have the newest and best things and I don't have to keep up with the Jones'. I think that is one thing that bothered me about was always about money for her. She moves from one relationship (aka bank account) to another with no regards for that person. I forgive her for all that happened and hope that one days she realizes that true happiness has nothing to do with money.

The point of this post? I think part of it to show myself that you guys were correct when you told me that I was going to be alright. I remember reading all your comments a year ago thinking you guys were crazy because I just knew that I was not going to be OK. And look at me a year later...I am not only better, but I am a better and happier person.

P.S. Don't forget to send me your cards. I have received a couple of them and love what you guys are saying. My collage is going to be so cool and so inspirational.


Eye of the Rainbow said...

Can I say "See I told you so!" ? LOL I'm so happy you are so much further ahead now. I sent out your card today!

redfrog27 said...

I am happy your ok also.The thing about money is it comes and gos.But true friends will always be with you,and i believe karma will come to bite Laura on the behind right where she deserves it.

Lynilu said...

That was a very sad post. I remember feeling very worried about you, but I knew if you could hang in there for a while, it would all be OK. AND IT IS!!!

I'm so proud of you and happy for you!!

I understand completely about the big, cold house and the little, warm nest. Been there, doing that!!! Aren't we proud of us??? :D

Julie said...

Do us a favor and never quote that asshat of a brother again-:) - his opinions are more about him and his issues, not you.
People can't judge other people's karma...most of the time we can't even judge our own.