Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Friend

Well, it was a great weekend. I really enjoyed having Lynilu and her babies here. I am still amazed at how well the dogs got along. It was nice going out and not worrying about the dogs back home. My boss told me that Sadie was afraid of little white dogs so I was expecting a little bit of fear, but boy is she afraid of them. There was one point where Sadie refused to get off the couch because Ali was sleeping on the floor in front of her. Right now both Sadie and Sophie are sound asleep. I think they got plenty of exercise the last couple of days. About 20 minutes after we went to bed last night Ben came out. He slept with me for a few minutes, went to the litter box and then returned to his place under the couch. He is still under the couch and every few minutes I stick my hand between the cushions and pet him.

Lynilu and I had lunch with my best friend. The last time the two of them had seen each other was in 2002 at my graduation party when I got my masters. Lynilu was very sweet and thanked my friend for taking care of me this past year. But really, I don't think I could have made it through this past year without Lynilu either. I think back to a year ago when I called Lynilu and told her I needed to come visit and I was leaving the next day. She had no hesitation in allowing me to come visit. She then put up with 5 days of someone feeling really sorry for herself and thinking her life was over.

While I was visiting Lynilu I had decided on my second day that the best thing to do was get Sophie home and then kill myself. I was not honest with Lynilu because I didn't want her to try to stop me. There have been several times where I have thought seriously about suicide, but this was the first time that I had a plan and a way to carry out that plan. I also had no fear about dying. Thankfully Laura picked up on something I said and called Lynilu. I know Lynilu was really disappointed in me and the fact that I was not honest with her. Looking back I am glad Laura called Lynilu, although I was mad at her at the time for saying something. I promised Lynilu that I would drive home and get some help. Two days after I got home I got the help that I needed.

I am grateful to have Lynilu as my friend as well as my guardian angel. She has been there for me when so many others have turned their back on me.

So, as you read this Lynlu know that I am thankful for all you have done for me. You have been such a loyal and trusting friend and I will forever be grateful for you. I love you my friend.


Lynilu said...

It WAS a great weekend! We didn't do anything special except the lunch, but it was fun just to have time to sit together and share the air. We talk often on the phone, email and read each other's blogs, so it isn't like we aren't up to date on each other. Nor have we lost any time or comfort of each other's company. There is just something about being in the same room that makes it g.o.o.d. That's what friendship is all about!

Thanks, Caroline for the sweet words. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary ... friends just are there when we need them, no explanations or expectations. The truth is that it was Sophie who really kept you from doing something foolish, because you wouldn't let her be "orphaned," you know. And that's OK. Whatever it takes is a good thing.

And as far as the friendship and loyalty and all, yes, I'm there for you, but I know you would be for me, too. I don't think I've had to call in that favor, but I know you would be there if I did. As I said ... that what friends do.

I love you, too, my friend. Thanks for a very nice weekend. :)

Patti said...

Glad you had a wonderful time and visit with such a special lady. Hugs my friend. It has been one hell of a year but hopefully the next one will be 'heavenly'!

Julie said...

I'm so glad that things turned out the way that they did, and Lynilu is such an awesome pal. As someone who has dealt with depression I can honestly say that suicide seems like an option when there are no others. But I also know there is a huge wall between thinking of it as an actual option and actually doing it, so I too am grateful for Laura's call to Lynilu to intercept.
You guys are MY pals now, so I'm glad you are around!