Last night as I watched Sophie sleep I decided I wanted to be just like her. She loves me with no conditions and is always excited to see me. In the 10+ years that I have had Sophie I don't think she has had one bad day. The first thing she does when she wakes up is stretch and then she starts wagging her tail. There are many times when her tail is wagging before she stretches; which to me is saying she is happy and content.
She doesn't worry about things that she has no control over. She lives for each moment and is not thinking of how certain moments remind her of either good times or bad times in the past. She lives completely in the moment.
When we are walking and I decide to take us in a different direction she does not argue with me and say how disappointed she is that we are not going where she wants. All she does is change where she is walking and finds something she likes along that new path.
Sophie has trusted me from day one. When I found her when she was just 3 months old she trusted me and everyday from that moment she has trusted me. She doesn't have to think about trusting me, she just does.
Two days ago I finally acknowledged that I have trust issues. I think I have known all along that I do have trouble trusting people, but now that I am in a relationship with Susan I realize what I can lose if I don't work on these trust issues. And I don't want to lose her.
Even just a few months ago I think I would have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I don't trust others, but since I have done that in the past and it has not worked, the best thing for me to do is just move forward.
About a week ago I was told that I am more open on my blog then I am in person with my friends. I had never really thought about that, but I think that is true. The friend that told me this said she learns more about me through my blog then in person. So, something that I am working on that involves trust is opening up more to my friends in person rather then using my blog as an outlet for all my emotions. This doesn't mean I won't be writing on my blog, it just means I will be talking more to my friends and Susan about my feelings.
So I am going to start living my life more like Sophie. I am going to just live in the moment and not spend time over analyzing the past. I am going to wake up in the morning excited that it's a new day and excited for all the new things I get to learn that day. And most importantly I am going to start trusting those that love me.