As I was driving up to see Susan on Saturday we had the most beautiful sunset. Kansas City has had such a mild summer with only a few days where it was really hot. I can handle a summer where the highs are in the 80s and the lows are in the 50s. I haven't been to the pool in a month and probably won't go again this year. Early in the summer MJ and I decided to have a contest to see who could get the most tan. She started out already tan and I got pretty close, but I think she will be the winner. So, MJ I guess you should decide where you want to go for your victory dinner.
Susan is planning on coming down to stay with me for the holiday weekend. I think we are going to go on a picnic one day; which is something I haven't done in years. There's just something so romantic about a picnic. This morning I picked up the shirt that I wore when I saw her last and I could still smell her perfume. Looks like I won't be washing that shirt until this weekend.
Some of my friends have expressed some concern and want to make sure that I take things really slow. I understand their concern because of what happened last fall. I have always worried about what people think of me, so when my friends come to me saying they are concerned it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Then when I feel like I am doing something wrong I usually feel that maybe I don't deserve something. I know that I still struggle a lot with these feelings and it's something that I am continuing to work on. It is a nice feeling knowing I have so many people that do care for me.
I know my relationship with Susan is still really new, but I can't seem to communicate this feeling I have inside. I know my heart has been wrong before, but I have this deep down feeling that my heart is not wrong this time and that this is it. I guess now only time will tell.