Monday, August 25, 2008


In March 2000 I was finally admitting that I was gay. I had not slept with a woman or even kissed one, but I knew I was gay. When I did first kiss a woman it was one of those moments in my life where suddenly everything made sense. It made sense why I never liked being intimate with a man and why my marriage to my ex-husband didn't work; even though I tried really hard to make it work. That one kiss changed my life and I knew it at the moment.

This past weekend I had another moment just like I did in March 2000.

Susan and I had planned on not seeing each other over the weekend, but on Saturday evening we were talking and we decided that I should come up for the night. So I packed a bag for me, grabbed Sophie's stuff and we were on the road.

We spent the entire evening and night just talking. I think I got maybe 1.5 hours of sleep Saturday night. We were laying in bed just talking and then we would sleep for 30 minutes and then start talking again. We talked about our childhoods, our ex's, what we wanted in the future. It was just one of those wonderful moments where I wished I could stop time and just stay there with her.

When we got up in the morning I was extremely tired and ended up laying back down on the couch while she finished getting ready. When she was done she came and laid right next to me on the couch and we laid there for 45 minutes in silence. As I held her it was then that I had that moment. I realized that this is how it's suppose to be. It's as if I have been seeing the world in black and white for the last year and now suddenly everything is in color and so beautiful. Music sounds differently and things that normally would stress me out really don't matter.

Susan and I talked this weekend and there is no way that we just met. I don't know if I believe in past lives, but meeting Susan and seeing how well we get along after just a few weeks makes me believe strongly in past lives. I know she is not perfect, but even her imperfections are a good compliment of me. We both realize that the chemistry we have for each other is something that neither of us have ever experienced.

We are committed to taking things slow because we both believe if it's meant to be then taking things slow will just make our relationship better.


Renaissance Woman said...

I am sooo happy for you. Seeing in color makes everything feel better.

Teaberry said...

Oh, this is awesome!!! SO exciting!!!

redfrog27 said...

yaaaaaaay on both accounts

MJ said...

hmmmm...glad it's going well

MJ said...

Does this mean you will finally try the deer meat?

Monogram Queen said...

I know it is SO hard to take things slow when everything is fresh and new but you are doing the right thing. I am SO happy for you both Caroline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Francesca said...

That sounds so amazing!!! I am so, so, so happy for you!!!

Big hug! xx