Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Where Are You?

I am almost done with day 8 of not smoking. This time is so different then last time. I remember "relapsing" around day 7 or 8 last time and I found the blog post from that day. Oh, I was so sad and really not committed to not smoking. I used to be so afraid that life would no longer be fun if I was not smoking. I am happy to report that life is just as good now that I am not smoking.

I still struggle sometimes with having an urge to smoke. I don't think I am craving a cigarette anymore, but my mind is still trying to break the habit of smoking. I have known people that have smoked for decades and quit and I can only imagine how hard that was. I only smoked for 7 years, but it became such a huge part of my life. And to think that this horrible habit started all because of a girl. Ahhhh...I will never try to impress a girl by smoking again. And the thing that sucks...I didn't get the girl anyway.

Speaking of girls...I really think I am ready to start dating again. I am finding that I really love my life, but sometimes wish there was someone special in my life to share all this happiness with. My favorite part of a relationship is when the "newness" is gone and you are able to relax. I have always said that there is nothing better in the world then coming home after a long day to a home filled with love. I really miss being close to a woman. There is nothing better then the softness of a woman or the way a woman smells. For the 5 years I was married to my ex-husband I hated cuddling and being close to him. But the first time I was close to a woman it all made sense why I didn't like being close to a man.

I believe she is out there and eventually I will understand why I had to go through so much to find her. Now if I could just figure out where she is..........

4 comments:

trinity2 said...

She will fall into your lap when you least expect it! :)

Patti said...

I sure wish she would appear for you also! Nothing like beign with your soulmate!

amy h said...

Have I ever sent you these lyrics before? I listened to that song ALL the time in college. The thing is, if I had found Chris when I wanted to find him, it would never have worked out. In fact, that time couldn't have been worse timing for him. So maybe she has some issues right now that she is working out, and she's just not ready for you yet. :)

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