Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?
I feel like I have disappointed so many people today. I wish I didn't have such high expectations of myself because I always seem to let myself down when I don't reach the unrealistic goals.
As I was driving home I just kept thinking of my Mom. I was talking to a friend today and she said that she never doubted her parents love and knew they loved her to pieces. It's sad because I never felt this from my parents. I knew they loved me, but I felt they only did because they had to. Why is it so hard for me to heal from my parents rejection?????
The intense pain and sadness I feel from being kicked out of my family is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. And I hate that I feel embarrassed about being kicked out of my family. I feel like I have done something wrong, even though I know I haven't. But sometimes I wonder what others think when they hear I have no contact with my family. I guess it really shouldn't matter.
I can handle the fact that some people can not love me because I am gay. I can even handle the fact that my family can not love me because I am gay. But when I think about God and if God loves me, I don't think I could handle it if I knew God did not love me because I am gay.
Please remind me that God still loves me even though I am gay.