Sunday, April 20, 2008

What It's All About

I was raised to fear God. I was never taught that God was loving or that He loved me. My parents raised me with the fear that something terrible would happen to me if I ever disappointed God. Thinking about all of this makes me very sad for the young Caroline.

When I watch updates on the whole thing going on in Texas, I really feel sorry for the women. So many people are asking why they didn't do anything or why they didn't realize something was wrong. I don't think people realize how much you can be controlled by brain washing.

I grew up believing that there was something wrong with someone if they did not embrace the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses. I felt I was better then all non-Witnesses and if you rejected the "truth" then I never looked at you the same. I was very judgemental and often times we would sit around with our parents making fun of different religions, cultural differences and gays/lesbians. I was taught from an early age that God had chosen me to be a Jehovah's Witnesses and I needed to be thankful for His choice. I was raised that the Devil was a real spirit and very much a part of the world. When I was a child I remember running up the stairs in complete fear because I felt that Devil was chasing me. When I told my Mom about this feeling I had she asked me if I had done something to disappoint God. I thought for sure God had send the Devil after me because of something I had done.

When you are raised in a religion that has fear as the core, it can devastate you in so many ways. Some people don't survive this devastation and there have been many times when I thought I was not going to survive. But somehow I did and I realized what it's all about.

6 comments:

traci said...

Caroline, as someone who grew up one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I remember the same things. To this day, I have to literally talk myself through severe panic attacks and fear related to not doing what "Jehovah" wants me to do. You are doing a good job.

traci said...

BTW, I found this interesting post today that I think may interest you. Here's the link to it:

http://dwb801.blogspot.com/2008/03/peacegay.html

Danny Haszard said...

Who are Jehovah's Witnesses?

No tolerance,the Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult because they try to cut you off from others who do not have the same beliefs, including family.
The Watchtower is an oppressive cult if there ever was one!

It's amazing they are still around after 100 years of 100% failed prophecies. Truly amazing,that they can prompt their followers to actually go door to door with a 100% bogus message.
Their Message is a Watchtower Gospel that,Jesus had his second coming in 1914 and they were the only ones who saw it and consequently the only hope for mankind.

The Watchtower is a truly Orwellian world.

Mind control is a terrible thing

Anonymous said...

Everyone has free choice to live their life as they wish,but remember that one also answers to both their conscience and to their maker. As someone who also grew up as a Witness, i recall different things, such as being told that God not only shows love, but that he IS love. the Creator YHWH, or Jehovah is as real to me as any person, and despite Mr Haszard"s amazement, I remain and base my faith and conduct on what the Bible teaches, not any organization. Those who doubt that the system will end will be very amazed indeed, for Christ said to "keep on the watch". Caroline had the right to choose, one hopes she will choose wisely in the future. BTS

Sandra said...

This is a perfect example of why I'm so against what's going on with the FLDS. People raising children with extreme beliefs and the children having no choices, no power, no idea what's 'normal', they're raised with such fear and their minds are controlled. So when people say it was wrong of CPS to take the kids away, I disagree - even without the sex abuse, there's still all this mental and emotional abuse, and it's more than what a kid can handle.

Patti said...

I was very angry and saddened by Sandra's whole post but especially by you saying your Grandma died from refusing a blood transfusion. How selfish and needless ....