I was raised to fear God. I was never taught that God was loving or that He loved me. My parents raised me with the fear that something terrible would happen to me if I ever disappointed God. Thinking about all of this makes me very sad for the young Caroline.
When I watch updates on the whole thing going on in Texas, I really feel sorry for the women. So many people are asking why they didn't do anything or why they didn't realize something was wrong. I don't think people realize how much you can be controlled by brain washing.
I grew up believing that there was something wrong with someone if they did not embrace the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses. I felt I was better then all non-Witnesses and if you rejected the "truth" then I never looked at you the same. I was very judgemental and often times we would sit around with our parents making fun of different religions, cultural differences and gays/lesbians. I was taught from an early age that God had chosen me to be a Jehovah's Witnesses and I needed to be thankful for His choice. I was raised that the Devil was a real spirit and very much a part of the world. When I was a child I remember running up the stairs in complete fear because I felt that Devil was chasing me. When I told my Mom about this feeling I had she asked me if I had done something to disappoint God. I thought for sure God had send the Devil after me because of something I had done.
When you are raised in a religion that has fear as the core, it can devastate you in so many ways. Some people don't survive this devastation and there have been many times when I thought I was not going to survive. But somehow I did and I realized what it's all about.