Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Story

I thought I would share a couple things with my readers since my brother keeps commenting about these things and I want you guys to know my side of the story. Also, I probably will keep his comments up so you can see how retarded he really is. (I really believe if my brother was tested, Forrest Gump would be smarter)

The House
When my Grandmother passed away in November 1996 the house was given to my Mom and Aunt. They held onto the house for another year before deciding to sell it. My ex husband and I were really interested in the house and decided to buy it. Because we were both in school the bank was not going to lend us the full amount. My Mom then stepped in and said that she really wanted us to have the house and told us the amount she would get from the sale of the house we could take off the price of the house. There was nothing said about us paying her back because she wanted us to have the house and said this was a gift. It wasn't until I came out to my parents in 2004 that suddenly my Mom thinks I owe her $25,000. If that were the case, technically I would only owe her half since my ex husband and I bought the house together. I think it's funny how none of this was brought up before I was gay.

The Car
When I graduated in 2002 with my masters degree my parents bought me a car. They paid somewhere around $12,000 for the car. It was a gift and I never was told to make a payment. When I came out to my parents in 2004 I suddenly owed them for the car as well. But my Dad said I owed them $15,000 for the car. I asked why they thought I needed to pay them $3,000 more then they originally paid for the car. His answer: I added interest. To me that pretty much summed up my relationship with them: it was and has always been about money.

My parents have always been able to use guilt with me to get what they want. Well, they can no longer use that I think that really upsets them. I have always deleted the comments from my brother because he seems to think it's OK to put my business out there with no regard. So now that it's all out there, I wonder what he will say now.

It's sad when your parents put a dollar amount on their relationship with you. A few years ago I emailed my Mom and asked her if she would like to have lunch to discuss our problems. Her email back to me said, "Only if you bring your checkbook." That email made it crystal clear to me that if I want any kind of relationship with my parents, their going rate is $40,000. That is very sad in my eyes.

My brother is a pathological liar. If his lips are moving, he is lying. I found his Myspace page and I was laughing my ass off. He said he graduated from high school and college. Yea, right. The funny thing is, I have the yearbook from the year he said he graduated and what a surprise to see his picture not in there. He also made it sound like he has a house at the Lake of the Ozarks, many boats and a recording studio. All of it is lies. I know he still depends on my parents to help with his rent, bills and raising his 4 sons. But reading all he said did give me a good laugh.


cristin said...

why don't you put up the link to his myspace page so we can all take a looksy at mr. nasty pants??!! Maybe we can leave a comment or two...


Sonya said...

I'm sorry your relationship with your parents was around money. It sounds like that may be the case with brother as well... maybe he just doesn't see it, yet.

My mother is a master at guilting people. I learned long ago that anything they do for you comes with strings attached, unfortunately. To this day I have a hard time accepting "help" (from anyone) because I always worry that there are strings attached... or I don't know how to navigate their kind gesture.

Whatever the case - the situation between you and your folks really only is between you and your folks.

Sandra said...

Parenthood is a responsiblity and a choice. It's not like you were a surprise "bill" - they chose you. No one held a gun to their head and ordered them to be parents. I'm surprised their 'religion' doesn't teach them that.

And yeah - good point. Funny how paying them back wasn't mentioned until you came out.

Anonymous said...

Aren't you glad you are adopted and not related by blood?

I would that if any reason would be cause to tell your mom, "I'm sorry you spent so much money on me- but you could have picked someone else. Your loss!"

SassyFemme said...

He's such a nutjob ass, he needs to go get a life.

Ditto to anonymous on being adopted. From one adoptee to another, it IS a wonderful thing sometimes, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Caroline fact is you found my space page good that is why it is there. But you have no idea what the hell I have been doing for the last four years now do you. Not a clue at all. But here are some facts if you can find my My Space page you can probably find my company's web sites not to hard. And as far as the lake I will set the story straight we do have a house there. We have one boat and a lot of friends with boats. I do have a production company here and at the lake all can be verified by websites and also well I guess 150 comments form people I Have worked with in the last year are made up too. LOL that's a good one. Mom and Dad paying my bills are you nuts. I will say this I would not be where I am today if was not for our parents but I had to change my life in a complete 180 to get where I am today. I know where that place is and I am very happy in it. And no one can ever take that form me NO ONE. I am proud of who I am what I have and what I have accomplished in the last seven years of my life. I have everything I could dream of. I am proud of my wonderful wife my wonderful sons and everything I have built to provide for them. You know its funny I have never dogged you out on here only to bitch that you say things about Mom and Dad that just are not true. I can care or less what you say about me. I know who I am where I am and where I am going. And I know I am doing it all on my own. But when you say both mom and dad don't talk to you just because you are gay you know that is lie. How many of your readers know that dad is not even a JW and talked to you for over two years after you "came out" he is only mad at you because you made promises you did not keep. At least he is a decent enough guy not sue your pants off. I'll give him that. Mom and dad both gave you the world and you shit on them in a bad way. And that is why I post when you lie about what really happened. And that is the only time I have bitched on this thing I only read about once a month just to see what you say about them and to make sure you don't put any pics of my kids up thats it

Julie said...

Sounds like someone has held a grudge against you for a long ass time and needs a little therapy.
While his illegible post was amusing and provides another look into your life, to me it is ok if you choose to delete his comments and walk away.
I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you as a friend.

Julie said...

Sounds like someone has held a grudge against you for a long ass time and needs a little therapy.
While his illegible post was amusing and provides another look into your life, to me it is ok if you choose to delete his comments and walk away.
I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you as a friend.

Patti said...

Hmmm maybe you need to let some of us know your Brothers first name eh?

Sonya said...

Looks like your successful brother needs some help with grammar. Hooray for him, turning his life around like he has. Woohoo! Is he looking for a gold medal? Remember, you are also turning your life around! You are coming out on top after a series of unfortunate events that would take anyone down. You are a winner!

But still, your business between your parents is your business between you and your parents. Each side is going to have their own perceptions. That is only normal. Bottom line, you are at odds. No big surprise there, eh? But suddenly brother is doing well for himself and feels the need to be all superior and stick up for mom & dad.

And I’m sorry, but I have to laugh at this “At least he is a decent enough guy not sue your pants off”. Your brother claims to be a parent? Surely he’d understand! What parent would sue THEIR CHILD? Oh, but he’s decent because he’s not actually following through? He’s thinking that and that is bad enough… that isn’t “decent”. A decent “parent” would step up and figure out how to mend this relationship, how to resolve the issues instead of fueling them.

Hang in their Caroline, hang in there. You are in a better place now and it is only looking up from here!

Audra said...

Hang in there Caroline. God gives us tests so we can see our true strength. It may not seem like it, but obviously you mean enough to your brother that he spends his free time googling to find you. Of course everyone will have their own side to every story, but wow. I am sorry about everything that has happened between not only you and him, but you and your family.

Sandra said...

I'm sorry I didn't even read what he wrote - has the man never heard of punctuation? Spelling? Grammar? Paragraphs? It's just basic 2nd grade stuff!

Don't worry Caroline - for someone's opinion to matter, they have to be someone you respect.

Caroline said...

everyone BUT anonymous #2--thanks for your supportive words. i knew you would get a kick out of his comments.

anonymous#2--you say you have never dogged me out on my blog...hum, i have saved all your comments...calling someone a piece of shit is not dogging them out? OK, whatever. wish i could link everyone to your myspace page, but you have suddenly made it private. are you trying to hide something? oh, and why on your page did you say you had 3 sons when you actually have 4. out of sight...out of mind. most people i would think it would be sad that a child was not close with their father, but i think in this case it just might save N's life. and for someone that says they only come to my blog once a month...again another lie. you have spent more then 4 hours on my blog in the last two nights. as you can see i did not post any pictures of the boys and will not. so, i do believe you can move on.

traci said...

Well, mister anonymous certainly needs to lighten up. I would ignore him (although I know it's really hard) and leave his stuff up if he chooses to post it.

His grammar and punctuation are awful and he is quite obviously out to stir up trouble. People like that never learn to look in the mirror. He is projecting stuff onto you honey and if you can, try to ignore him.

I say that even though I know it's hard. I'm dealing with my own stuff in that regard and I understand how difficult it is. Take care, Caroline. You are doing a fabulous job. Really.

Sandra said...

He lies about how many kids he has? Oh that's rich.