Thursday, December 13, 2007

Sleep Deprived

I am so tired. The last two nights I have gotten about 8 hours of sleep total. I feel like I am close to crashing. Let me explain why I did not get much sleep last night.

I had planned on going to bed early last night. In fact, I was headed up to bed at 11pm. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and when I came out Ben was sitting on the bed looking guilty. Yes, he peed on the bed.......again. I was so angry with him. I yelled at him and he went running. I have not had time to take my comforter to the dry cleaners or even pick up some of the stuff that some of you have recommend I buy. I have washed the comforter like 4x in the last week, but I guess he is still picking up on the smell. Because it went through to the sheets I stripped the bed and threw it all in the wash. My sheets are white so I put some bleach in with them. I thought this might get some of scent out. The bedroom is officially off limits to Ben and he's not too happy about it, but at this point I really don't care.

About 1am I was finally able to go to bed. When I got home yesterday (after working midnight to 9:30am) I laid down, but only let myself sleep for 4 hours because I didn't want trouble going to sleep at my normal bedtime. So, by 1am I was exhausted. At 3:30am I got a TXT message from R. She just asked what I was doing today. After a couple TXT messages we ended up on the phone with each other. It was a good talk and she explained some of what has been going on. I am still not sure what I am going to do, but things do make more sense now. We were on the phone until 7:30am. By this point I am not sure I am even making sense because I am so tired. I tell her that I really need to get some sleep and I fall asleep for 3 hours.

Tomorrow is a crazy day as well. I am going into work at 8am and then taking a few hours off in the afternoon and then going back to work the second shift. I am wondering if I will ever catch up on my sleep. I really feel like I could go to sleep now and be out of it for a few days.

Tonight I have a friend coming over for a few hours (what was I thinking?????) and I am making some cookies for work. One of the things I am doing tomorrow afternoon is going to my counseling session. I haven't been in 4 weeks and I really feel like I need to go. Last night I sat on the couch so upset about nothing and crying like I cried when Laura and I broke up. It was kind of refreshing, but it was exhausting. And the crazy thing is I really don't know what I was crying about, I was just crying. I think lack of sleep is part of the reason I am so emotional right now. I seriously feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat.

So, let's all pray that I get some sleep this weekend. And let's all pray that I figure out what to do with R. It's all so confusing and I think part of the reason is because I am so freakin tired.

8 comments:

Shannon said...

Get some sleep! Hope you feel better soon.

Kelly said...

That stinks you've been so tired. I know how hard that is firsthand. Question...what was R doing texting you at 3:30 am? Is it typical of her to do that? It seems a little odd given everything that's happened.

Katie said...

Take some time for yourself and catch up on sleep. Don't worry about the phone and all that.

Anonymous said...

Shut off your phone and sleep for awhile!

Fern said...

Everything will be clearer once you get some rest.

yankeegirl said...

Get some rest!

Cheeky said...

Don't make me come down there and make you sleep.....mmmkay? SLEEP!

And for cat peeing - I soo feel your pain. Kitty girl would pee on my papasan chair....we eventually just bought a new cushion for it...nope she peed on it too. The chair in now in my storage room.

patti_cake said...

You know you are ever in my prayers sweetie. I understand your frustrating with Ben. Spooky has peed in my house several times, last time on that brand new couch so he's not allowed in much anymore either. I gave him three chances and he did it to himself.