Last night I did the laundry and it made me think of Brady. He used to love laying on the clean clothes when they came out of the dryer. This was the last picture I took of him when he was lay on the warm clean clothes. I love how his paw is hanging out the side. What a sweet baby.
I had the weirdest dream last night. In my dream I was desperately trying to get Laura back. It is sad how desperate I was and how I was literally begging her. During March and April I was just like that. I was literally on my knees begging her not to leave me for Sharon. It's sad now looking back on those times and even more sad how Laura could just turn away from me with no problem. This morning I am thankful that I am not at that stage anymore and I don't feel I would do anything to get her back. She's just not worth it anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone that really has no connections to anyone or anything. I remember thinking it was odd that she had no problem leaving her beloved cat with me for 4 months. I can't stand being away from my babies for more then a few nights, let alone 4 months. Laura used to always say how much she loved Bonk and so it's very typical that she knew earlier in the week that I was taking Bonk to the vet and she hasn't even called to see how she is doing. When you don't have any connections in this world, it becomes a very cold place. I am thankful that I do have so many great connections and that I am not afraid to let others see the real me. Through this blog I have learned that it's OK to let others in.
I have had 3 co-workers invite me over to their house for Thanksgiving. One of the co-workers is also gay and M and her wife just adopted a baby from Central America. I think I am going to go to their house so I can finally meet their beautiful daughter. She really is a cutie.
After a long and very emotional week I am glad that I seem to be on the upswing here. It feels so good and I am going to try to hang onto this good feeling as long as I can. Oh, and since it's the weekend before Thanksgiving, it is time to put out the holiday decorations. It's going to be a very good weekend.
I had the weirdest dream last night. In my dream I was desperately trying to get Laura back. It is sad how desperate I was and how I was literally begging her. During March and April I was just like that. I was literally on my knees begging her not to leave me for Sharon. It's sad now looking back on those times and even more sad how Laura could just turn away from me with no problem. This morning I am thankful that I am not at that stage anymore and I don't feel I would do anything to get her back. She's just not worth it anymore. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone that really has no connections to anyone or anything. I remember thinking it was odd that she had no problem leaving her beloved cat with me for 4 months. I can't stand being away from my babies for more then a few nights, let alone 4 months. Laura used to always say how much she loved Bonk and so it's very typical that she knew earlier in the week that I was taking Bonk to the vet and she hasn't even called to see how she is doing. When you don't have any connections in this world, it becomes a very cold place. I am thankful that I do have so many great connections and that I am not afraid to let others see the real me. Through this blog I have learned that it's OK to let others in.
I have had 3 co-workers invite me over to their house for Thanksgiving. One of the co-workers is also gay and M and her wife just adopted a baby from Central America. I think I am going to go to their house so I can finally meet their beautiful daughter. She really is a cutie.
After a long and very emotional week I am glad that I seem to be on the upswing here. It feels so good and I am going to try to hang onto this good feeling as long as I can. Oh, and since it's the weekend before Thanksgiving, it is time to put out the holiday decorations. It's going to be a very good weekend.
6 comments:
Time to decorate and celebrate!! The kids and I are decorating this weekend, too. :)
I'm glad things are feeling better and I'm happy to hear you are taking your co-worker up on her invitation. Sounds like a fun time!
Something else to cheer you up, and piss me off, I saw S on my car today.
casey--can't wait to hear all about you and the kids decorating. this year my helpers will be sophie and my boss' dog sadie.
katie--yes that does cheer me up. but it would really cheer me up (and you) if it was here and not there.
Caroline...welcome back. Sounds like you have your life in order and looking forward to good times with great friends who care about you. Judging from the comments in your blog, you have tons of friends cheering you on. Regarding the S word....my daughter sent pics by e-mail of the 2 little ones making their first snowman of the season. BTW - they live in Dawson Creek, northern British Columbia. which happens to be mile O of the Alaskan Highway. Winter arrives early there and tends to last till May or June. So much for a little Canadian Geography 101. Keep smiling Caroline - there are always better days ahead.
Ruth in Canada
Yep get to decorating!
Wow I really had no idea what a cold fish Laura was. You are so much better off without her Caroline. Seriously.
I actually love staying in town for the holidays - going to a friend or coworker's house is perfect because you can stay for a little bit and then just leave when you want to, no cleaning, etc.
Post Pics of your Xmas decos, I'll do the same!
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