I am usually slow at doing things or I guess realizing things. When I was a baby I was very slow in doing things. I did not sit up by myself until I was 9 months old. I did not walk until I was 18 months old. I did not talk until I was 2. My Mother has reasons for why I was late in doing the previous things. She said that I did not sit up by myself because someone was always holding me. She said I did not walk until I was a year and a half because someone always carried me. She told me that I did not talk until I was 2 because my brother who was 2 years older then me, always did the talking for me.
Growing up I thought I was dumb. I had to repeat the first grade. I don't remember the reason, but for some reason they felt I was not ready to move onto second grade. I remember being in the fifth grade and sitting out on the back deck with my Dad working on some math homework. My Dad, who has literally no patience, probably was not the best person to be helping me with my Math homework. I just didn't get Math. I remember sitting on the deck feeling stupid. I felt there was something wrong with me.
Through most of my school years I felt stupid. I had one parent that did not really care that much about applying yourself in school and then I had another parent that pushed me so hard that I had no confidence in myself. So what I did was take a middle of the road approach to school. I did just enough to get by.
The very first time I felt smart was when I was getting my Bachelors Degree. We had a test in one of my social work classes and I got a B+. I remember sitting there shocked that this was actually my score. I couldn't believe it.
Today I had an interaction with my boss that I will probably never forget. We were talking and she said, "One of the things that I love about you Caroline is the fact that you are so bright. You just get it." She also mentioned how I had excellent people skills. Sometimes I just can't see it. I always used to think of myself as shy. Well, I think there is still a part of me that is very shy, but it seems that with each year that passes I am coming more and more out of my shell. Being sociable used to be such a scary thing for me. It's weird because I actually look forward to it now.
For someone that didn't sit up by herself until she was 9 months, walk until she was 18 months and talk until she was 2, I think I am doing pretty good.
My Mother wrote in my baby book, "She may be slow, but she is determined."
I think my Mom may be right.
8 comments:
I would rather have street smarts than book smarts any day.
I hate math too, yet I'm an accountant.
Social situations still bother me to an extent, I really have to push myself to get out there and meet new people.
You *are* bright. Book learning is important, but the most successful folks are usually those who have both education AND common sense, what's learned by trial and error. I think you have both, but you were not challenged to see it in your family of origin.
And I think being shy has an advantage because you observe others, listen and absorb what is going on before you throw yourself into the situation. You also listen with your heart, not just the ears.Therefore, you "get it" because you actually hear, see, internalize it. I'm guessing that your shyness in the first grade made you seem socially less ready than other kids.
I'm so glad to see you becoming you!!
Like you, I have to push past my shyness on a regular basis, but I also love to socialize.
BTW, A lot of times kids are retained in Kinder or First Grade because of social maturity, not academics. Often that extra year to grow and blossom (which in your case was maybe your perceived shyness?) ensures them an even higher level of academic success.
I bet you always were smart - you just didn't know it yet.
I agree with Katie. Nothing wrong with being slow but determined - nothing at all but for the record I don't think you are slow anymore - at all!
You are smart!!! And it's so nice when someone reiterates that to you!! Right!?!
Hey, I think you are just fine the way you are...and you are not slow. I've been telling you for a while now that you're smart! It's wise sometimes to take your time and size up a situation before you jump in. And I can relate completely to feeling more social as the years go by. I used to even hide behind my mother's legs when I was small and we were at the grocery store or whatever. But now I actually enjoy the "people" part of my job.
The smartest people I know, and I know a lot of smart people, are the one's who did not do so well in school but who found things they were passionate about later in life. Here's to finding your inner genius.
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