Taking Flight

It seems that I have lived my life for others for as long as I can remember. Today was a day for me to reclaim my life.

For the first time in my life I feel free.

It was 1999 when I first had feelings for a woman. Three years ago I had enough courage to admit that I love women. I knew the backlash from my family was going to be tough and I knew it was going to hurt deep within my soul. Even though I knew it was going to hurt and probably one of the toughest things I have ever done, I don't think I really knew how much I would struggle or how much I would hurt at times.

Yes the struggle has been hard. There were many days when I didn't think I could go on. But somehow I continued to find the strength to go on. On those days when I was really down it would be something small that would give me enough strength to go on. It is true that God gives you what you need at the exact moment that you need it.

I used to doubt God's love for me. As I walked out of the Kingdom Hall for the last time I was told that God (Jehovah) would no longer love me or hear my prayers. Even though I knew they were wrong, there were times I would doubt God's love for me. I now know that the elders that told me that obviously do not worship the same God as I do.

I wanted to do something that was a symbol of the strength I have had the last four months. It wasn't too hard to decide what to do since I have wanted to do this for a while now. So, today I got a tattoo. And can I tell you, I have never been happier.

When thinking about the design it was a clear choice. I have always loved dragonflies because to me they are the most beautiful little creatures that also have a lot of strength. You wouldn't think something so small would be so strong. Just like me, you can't judge them from looks alone.

I also wanted to incorporate yesterdays date. As I mentioned before I love numbers. The number 7 kept coming up and it seemed appropriate that I put the number 7 in the design somehow.

So, here are a few pics of my adventure yesterday.

Here I am getting the tattoo. Joseph did an amazing job and I couldn't be happier. I got the tattoo on my right hip.

Here is the tattoo. I love it!! It is simple, yet says so much. I love this design because it seems the dragonfly is in flight; kind of like me at this point in my life.

One thing I have learned about myself is I am determined. If I say I am going to do something then I will do whatever it takes to complete the project/task. I decided on Thursday that I was going to get a tattoo. I only got nervous yesterday when I was waiting. The place I went is one of the best in town and it's no uncommon for you to have to wait. We got there at noon and we were one of the first in line and still had to wait over two hours. Sitting there for those two hours I did get a little nervous, but I was determined to follow through with what I wanted to do.

I think I was a little nervous because I was afraid that it was going to hurt. But really it wasn't that bad. Now, it is a little sore this morning, but the minute I look at it I forget about the pain.

Just like the dragonfly, I feel that I have finally found my wings. I am ready to take flight, so if you are up for the ride...hang on.