This morning I got this picture from my good friends that live in Tampa. Apparently they are vacationing in Siesta Key, FL and saw all the snow we were getting and build this snowman just for me and Laura.
My friends that live in Florida are the ones that are meeting us in Key West for our commitment ceremony. They are so special to me and have supported me in whatever I decided to do. Even when I went back to the JW religion they loved me just the same. It's nice having that support and love.
This morning I got 3, yes 3 emails from my Mom. I had sent her an email on Tuesday night saying "yes I got the thing that was left at our door, but please don't leave that hateful material anymore." The email was also sent to my uncle who called on Monday. No response yet from my uncle. In my email I explained how my family is always welcome to our house as long as they respect us.
My Mother was not happy with my email. She explained to me how my Dad just had surgery as well as 2 of my nephews. I am trying to understand how I would have known this since no one talks to me. Oh and she was upset about the email considering it was their 38th wedding anniversary. I gave her a link to my post where I said Happy Anniversary to them.
I do hope my Dad and nephews are ok and I would never wish anything bad to happen to them. But dammit don't get upset at me for not saying anything about the surgeries when I didn't know in the first place.
Each email I get from my Mom I am more surprised at how I really didn't know what kind of person she was. I know I shouldn't, but I continue to be shocked at her behavior and words.
8 comments:
She's pretty transparent: she just wanted you to feel bad about something, your dad's surgery was just handy at the moment to send you on a guilt trip. And as for the anniversary, will she be congratulating you and Laura on your anniversaries? It's not all about her, you have a life too, and just because she doesn't approve of it, doesn't make it any less important.
I think you handled this with great maturity. Good job.
I agree with sandra & traci. Your mom shifts her feeling onto you with an almost professional skill. She probably feels guilty about how she treats you, although she will never admit that; so if she makes you feel bad about something, it levels the playing field. Sad. But mostly sad for her, because your life is full and happy. And it's too bad that she doesn't want to see or share in your happiness. I know it sitll hurts, but keep on handling it as you are. The shock will probably never quit for you with each thrust of her knife, unfortunately. Always remember that there are a lot of us who love you unconditionally, and Laura is at the top of that list. Can I be second? Sleep well, dear girl; you're not at fault.
Your mother may remain deeply entrenched regardless, but perhaps it is time to declare a truce. All the ill will is like a poison. Forgive her, and stop allowing her to push your buttons. Without that, you won't find peace for yourself.
I'm sorry. :(
I think everyone else is righ ton the mark though. Hang in there.
Caroline,
You handle all this stuff so well. I am just now in the first year of "leaving" my religion. ( I didn't really give up my faith, they just think i did because I love my gf) Anyway, You are very strong. Enjoy your family (Laura and your pets) and your friends. Try not to let your parents get to you.
I'm sorry...I truly am.
I know a little bit about how you feel...my parents were incredible about everything (in a good way), but my sister was the biggest surprise (and not in a good way).
Time, love and patience have helped immensely. But the love that has helped has been the "unconditional" kind...as a matter of fact, that's the only kind that ever helps.
sandra--thank you so much for the compliment.
traci--understanding is the easy part...feeling it is the hard part
lynilu--yes, my MOm is a professional at guilt
trop--i have called a truce a long time ago. it's my parents that don't care to
casey--thanks
yankeegirl--the good thing is my parents don't have much control over my feelings as they did two years ago
kevein--thanks for stopping by. i loved your last paragraph
I can't see the Sand Snowman :(
I echo what Sandra said, wise woman that she is!
Post a Comment