I have a whole set of nephews/nieces that I have not seen in 6 years. They were from my ex-husbands side. There are two more since we were divorced that I have never met. Today is the birthday of Max and Drew who turn 10 today. I remember how excited we were when they were born. Not only was it the first child for his older brother, but they were twins. They were so cute when they were born. It took us a few months to figure out who was who. James's olders brothers wife (now ex) is good about sending me pictures of Max and Drew and younger sister MacKenna. It's amazing how time flies. I swear it seems like just yesterday when we were waiting for the call to say they were here. God, I feel old. James' other brother never really liked me (it was mutual) and so they do not send me pictures of the kids.
This morning I was thinking about my ex-husband. James is a very kind person,but has very little backbone. Once he moved back to CA he got under the influence of his parents and everything we had agreed to before he left (bills, etc) went out the window. Luckily the court decided at the time of the divorce that you can't just up and leave all your financial responsibilities. James left me in a horrible financial situation and it took me years and years to recover. Well, actually I think I am still recovering. Literally he left me with ALL the bills. Once we were divorced the bills were divided up by the court, but he still didn't pay any of them. Being married, I was just as responibile for them. It just really sucked.
I was such a different person when James and I were married. I was so unhappy. It took me years and years (and a couple kisses from girls) to realize why I was so unhappy. I try to live my life with no regrets. I do not regret the time I spent married to James. I think it has made me the person I am today. I appreciate my relationship with Laura so much more because of how bad I treated James. (does that make sense?)
James will not talk to me. Once we were divorced (and I was disfellowshipped) he stopped talking to me. I wish I could tell him I am sorry for how I treated him. I do hope he is happy and has found someone to love him and to love.
Well, that's enough for memory Monday.
3 comments:
I am going through the same thing, sort of. In two years (five years from when it was final) I should be completely recovered from my divorce.
My ex was a kind but spineless sort of person too. You shouldn't beat yourself up for how you let him down -- he let you down too. You were very young, and you were very influenced by the JW beliefs as well. You had to get away from ALL of that in order to think clearly, which thank goodness, you did.
You are a much better person than James. At least you have good wishes for him.
I heart my nieces & nephews too.
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