The last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about my spirituality. Most in my family believe that I am too far gone for anything spiritual. I have tried for two years to figure out why they think I no longer have a relationship with God. I think part of it is because the Jehovah's Witness religion believe they are the only true religion. All other religions are wrong and they people that follow those religions have no relationship with God. For many years I believed this as well. I would look at people that were different faiths and think, "poor them". I would feel sorry for them. I felt that JW's were right and everyone else was wrong. But all along I felt bad thinking this.
When I was in high school I was introduced to Michael W. Smith. For those of you that do not know his music he is Christian Rock. I LOVED the music I was listening. All of the music praised God. I loved rocking out to songs that talked about God. I had never heard music like that before. It was weird because my Mother never objected to me listening to the music even though it went against all we were taught. She even allowed me to go to a couple of his concerts. I know she was thinking, "there is worse music she could be listening to". Believe it or not, listening to MWS's music, I learned more about God and his love then I was being taught as a JW.
As Laura and I were driving to Jeff City Monday we drove through a town that we often went to while I was growing up for our "assemblies". An assembly is where our circuit of Kingdom Halls get together for a weekend convention. As were were driving I was thinking of all the times I came to this town for an assembly and hated every moment of it. I would do anything to get out of them. Half the time they were talking with words that I did not understand and I just ended up getting more confused then learning anything. I have always been a shy person. I was even more shy when I was a teenager. My Mom would encourage me to walk around during the lunch hour and talk with kids my age. I always felt so awkward doing that. I never felt like I fit in.
The last two years I have not associated with any religion. That does not mean that I don't have a relationship with God. Infact, I feel closer to God then I have ever. I feel comfortable praying to him. Before I never felt like he would hear my prayers. I have learned so much in the last two years about religion and God. I used to think you had to go to a certain building to have a relationship with God. Not so. It's the small things in life when I really think about God and how marvelous He is. When I am mowing the yard and it's just the hum of the mower and my thoughts I always start thinking about how beautiful the earth is and how it's amazing how it all works.
Growing up I was taught there was only one road to God. I was also taught that the one road that did lead to God was small and narrow. These last two years I have realized there are many, many roads that lead to God. With 300 billion people in the world, why is it just 6 million JW's believe they are right?
6 comments:
Oh, my! Your epiphony is moving into full swing! I'm very happy for you that you are now being able to acknowledge YOUR God!! I won't go on and on here, but you know from out many conversations over the years that my own understanding of God is that He created you. You are His. Nothing is between me and God, nor you and God. Life is wonderful, isn't it? Be happy, always.
Completely unrelated . . . be sure to look at my house on your way home. Kirk is power washing everything. It is amazing!
Good post,to keep it simple the central core dogma of Jehovah's Witnesses,the reason they came into existence 110 years ago was to proclaim Jesus second coming in the year 1914.
When their 'prophecy' {derived from the William Miller movement of 1844} failed,they went on to say that Jesus came "invisibly".Yes,it's the 'emperor's new clothes' all over again.
Up close and personal Jehovah's Witnesses can be wolves in sheep's clothing.
The Watchtower is a lie!--Danny Haszard
Great post Caroline.
I have no faith in any religion that thinks "it" is the be all and end all. I'm a "live and let live" kinda girl and think everyone should have their own personal relationship with God. Oh and weekly attendance at church does not = a ticket to Heaven IMHO. That is all :)
Hi Caroline. I've been reading your blog for a month or so, but have never posted a comment. I used to live in KC,MO and that is part of the reason why I stop by. Also, I am intrigued by your experiences as an ex-JW. I'm an "ex-Baptist" and it's interesting to see some of the similarities of brainwashing.
Anyway, the reason I decided to post is because, having lived in KC, I know of a great church you can go to if/when you reach a point in your life and are ready for some structured church environment. I went to the Spirit of Hope MCC while I lived in KC. It had a wonderful church family and I really enjoyed my time there and made some great friends.
Try it out and hopefully you will have a good experience too.
lyn--as you can tell i have days where i am thinking more clearly then others. let's just hope there are more clear days then foggy days.
danny--i agree with you. some are wolves in sheeps clothing
patticake--it's odd to think that most JW's think their way is the only way..well, not most..all
texmexsol--thanks for stopping by and giving me that church name.
Right on. I was raised Baptist, and Calvinist Baptist at that...I think by their theory only about 12 people will get into Heaven. How great and powerful is God, if he can only get his message through to a few weirdos? Of course they are many roads - of course!
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