Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I Have A Secret

As promised here are some of my secrets.

1) I was adopted when I was 3 days old. When I would talk about my family I wouldn't always say I was adopted. Part shame, part wanting to feel that I knew the two people that created me.
2) About three years ago I went into a convience store and bought something. I had to go back and get a different item becuase the one I picked out had gone bad. As I picked the item out of the cooler, I took an extra one. Every time I drive past that convience store I feel guilty.

3) I am the kind of person that most people will say, "take a picture it will last longer." For some reason I am very curious about other people. I guess you could call me a people person. I try not to stare, but sometimes what is going on is just too damn interesting.

4) When I was in summer camp I made up a whole family. I told people at camp that I had 3 brothers, when in fact, I only have one dumb ass brother who is completly worthless to the world. I always wanted a big family with lots of brothers and sisters, and summer camp was the perfect place to do that. No one lived near me and they would never know.

5) When I was in 6th grade I "prank" called my English teacher so much that she ended up calling the police. They figured out it was me and the principal called me in the office and called my parents. BTW, my principal was a complete ass about it. He called me in the office and threatned to have me sent to jail. I was terrified. When I got home my Mother was waiting for me and she was royally pissed. Now that my partner is a teacher, I understand why the principal and my Mother was so mad. But still, the principal didn't have to be so mean to me. I really thought I was going to jail.

6) I am double jointed in my fingers and arms. The way I can twist and turn my arms is sometimes gross to look at. When I was in school the kids would always want me to twist my arms and fingers because they thought it was "cool".

7) When I was in college I decided I didn't want to go to a weekend class. Instead of dropping the class before the weekend I waited until the following Monday. They told me I couldn't drop the class because it had already passed. I quickly made up a story that my great aunt had passed away. They told me I would have to have proof. I looked in the obits and found an old lady that had passed away on the day the class was to start. I memorized the obit and took it to them. They refunded my money.

8) The house that Laura and I live in was my Grandmothers. (Mom's Mom) When she passed away my ex-husband and I bought the house. There are times when I will walk in the house and smell her perfume.

9) As much as I want a child, I am terrified of having a one. I am afraid that I will not be a good Mother.

10) I love my nephews so much that I am willing to not talk to them until they are older just so they don't feel caught in the middle.

4 comments:

Isabel said...

I can relate to number 9.

Oh my god at number 7. Acutally, that one reminded me of another secret I have.

Syd said...

Number 7 is just brilliant.

No. 10 is so sad. But I do understand that depth of love. I hope they'll know, one day, what you were willing to give up for them.

Sublime said...

Caroline,

Thanks for sharing your "secrets". The important part is to let them go... release these issues to the universe. I need to take my own advice. You aren't a bad person and would probably surprise yourself by turning out to be a wonderful mother. Truly "bad mothers" don't worry about having kids...they just do it. Just that you are concerned about it tells me how caring you would be. Take care,
Sublime

SassyFemme said...

I was adopted too, 3 weeks old. I loved being adopted though, it always made me feel really special.

That's so cool that you live in your grandmother's house. What a wonderful legacy to have.