Monday, March 09, 2009

Fix You

This song (I tried to put the video on my blog, but copyright laws won't let me) has always spoken right to my heart. As I was driving up to see S yesterday I put in one of the CD’s I made and this song came on and I immediately went back to when I first started working at my current job. Songs have always been a way for me to remember experiences or different time periods in my life and this song is the song I listened to constantly right when I started my job.

When I think back to the person I was when I walked in the front door on that first day, I am truly amazed. I have become a more confident person and a person that is really happy with herself. Yes, I think S has a lot to do with that, but I think even more then S, my job played a huge role in helping me heal and grow into a better person. Because of all the support and love I received from those I work with I think I became a better person and that helped me be in a perfect place when S came into my life.

I was broken when I started my job. I felt like I was completely alone in the world and I had no idea where my life was headed. But the minute I started my job I felt like I had a purpose again. I felt like I finally found someplace that I belonged. I felt needed for the first time in months.

My co-workers have become my friends and a few of them have become like family to me. One of my co-workers has a thing in her office that says, “I could not love you more if you had been born into my family.” Every time I am in her office and I see that I wonder if she realizes that is how I feel about her? They have challenged me, they have made me fight when I thought I had no more strength, they invited me into their own families and made me feel welcome and most importantly they made me feel like I mattered in this world.
Now when I hear this song I don’t think about all the bad stuff I went through two years ago, instead of I think of my job and the people I met at my job that helped fix me.


Bobbie said...

That is a great post. We all struggle with that beloning in the world. And feeling alone. I have a friend who has been my friend since the 5th grade which was a long time ago and she is more like my family then my own family some days. Keep in there hun keep fighting keep believing, keep being you, keep loving.

Lynilu said...

I remember when you started there and several times you were surprised when people told you that you were doing a good job. You knew you were doing what you needed to, but you were startled that people noticed it and said so. Now you see it more up front. Yes, your confidence has mushroomed in that environment. That's part of what gave you the confidence to fall in love again, to moved out of your lifelong residence, to start a whole new life. Two years ago? NO WAY! Yeah, it's been a good job.

Caroline said...

bobbie--love your last sentence of your comment. thank you so much.

lynilu--did you watch the video?? it is actually a really good song. i can't believe that it has been two years as well. so much has happened in the last two years, so i am really looking forward to some quiet peaceful days and i know i will get that where i will be living.

MJ said...

I'm sure your work was glad to have your there. I know you were a true asset to them and you will be missed. It's amazing how the right people come in your life at the right time. I hope your new life is all you want it to be.

Monogram Queen said...

Yes workmates can be just like family. I used to work in that atmosphere but no more. Ah well, i'm glad they were "there" for you when you needed it most and hope your new job is just as satisfying for you!