Monday, December 29, 2008

When You Know...You Just Know

Yesterday the sun came out and it turned out to be a beautiful day. I was so happy to be able to see S for a few hours. We really didn't do that much, just a little bit of shopping for her. She had a couple coupons for something and we ended up going to one Walgreen's and 2 Walmarts. At the second Walmart we went through the self check out and I ended up getting done first and as I stood and waited for her all I could do was smile. This is what I love about being in a relationship...the everyday stuff. I know I am in the right relationship because even when we are doing everyday stuff, I am happy. Even when we have to stand in line for 20 minutes at Walmart, I am happy.

S and I have a lot of decisions to make in the next 8 months. Neither of us have any doubt as to what we want, but any kind of change causes a little bit of stress. I look forward to the day when we are all settled in a home of our own and the biggest decision is whose turn it is to change the cat litter. :)

I did have a couple things that irritated me today. When I got to work today I told one person about my x-mas and the houses that S likes and this person said, "I think a typical heterosexual relationship you are told you should wait a year before making any permanent decisions together. Well, you and S are closer to 6 months then one year."

Then I had another person tell me as they were walking out for a meeting, "You and I will discuss this later."

OK, first of all I am not a child. I do not need to discuss my personal life with anyone. Yes S and I are still new in our relationship, but I think it's good to talk about what we want in the future. I love sitting and talking with her about what our future will look like.

Second of all, no one can tell someone else how long is an appropriate time to date before moving on to the next phase. Yes, I made a huge mistake a year ago, but I have learned from that. From the very beginning S and I have been committed to taking things slow and building a solid foundation for our relationship. I think we are doing a great job of that and both of us feel comfortable in how we are handling our relationship. In the end, all that matters is that both S and I feel OK with things. We are both very happy with our relationship and know how lucky we are to have found each other.

When you just know.


Audra said...

I think people shouldn't dole out advice to people like that, but maybe they are looking out for you and their words came out wrong.

Either way, what works for one couple, might not work the same for another couple.

Dylan and I moved in together at 6 months, and engaged at 8 months! And things are great 4 years later.

Lynilu said...

You are not moving fast. Neither of you has uprooted for the other. First of all, you ARE talking over many things that are months in the future. If something happens between now and then, you will have discussed it at length. Second, buying a home in that area is something S will probably end up doing with or without you! Third, it is your business, not theirs. Fourth .... a "typical hetrosexual relationship"? WTF???A relationship is a relationship is a relationship, and who made up that rule??? Fifth, (I'm on a roll here) I know couples that knew each other two weeks, got married and stayed married for 50 years, and couples who were in a relationship for several years, and were divorced within a year of moving in together or getting married!!! There is no time table! Honestly, that sounds like an AA guideline used conveniently [go figure in your work setting!], and while it may not be bad advice, it is for you and S to decide whether and when to take steps.

OK, I'm done. I've had a bad day. Sorry I vented here, but I don't think you're rushing things at all.

Julie said...

People love to tell other people how to live. If I had a dime for everytime someone gave Victor and I crap about not getting married, I'd be pretty rich. My advice (and yes, I do see the irony of giving advice here!) is to be more private about your love life to those people - especially at work. I've been doing it with my coworkers and it seems to be better for me.

Julie said...

Also? Like Lynilu, I know PLENTY of hetersexual couples who have moved too fast or too slow and some made it, some didn't. People who want to point out the differences can suck it - they are wrong.

Monogram Queen said...

Honey Stacy and I dated for oh about 6 months, split up for 5 years, got back together and were married within 6 months and going on 15 years of a happy marriage.
When you "know" - you "know".
There is no set time-table! Follow your heart!

traci said...

I think other people ought to mind their own business. Not that you asked or anything..heehee