Today marks 3 weeks that I have not smoked. It really has been the longest 3 weeks of my life. I have been sick and emotional but I think I am slowly getting better.
The first time I quit it was not that hard. Yes I had my moments where I would lose it, but overall it was pretty easy. I think that is why it was so easy for me to go back to smoking. I thought it was no big deal and that I would just quit again. No problem. Well.....this time has been pure hell. Physically I have felt horrible for the last 2 weeks. Yes I am breathing better and sleeping better, but I really feel like I have had the flu. I ended up staying home today because I didn't have enough energy to get out of bed. I slept for most of the day and still feel tired. Maybe I am getting too much sleep?
Emotionally I have been on a roller coaster the last 3 weeks. I have doubted myself and most of those in my life. Two days after I quit I spent the weekend with Susan, which turned out to not be a good idea. Apparently I was pretty moody and not a lot of fun to be around. I am thankful that she saw that it was not the normal Caroline and has hung in there.
I have had the weirdest dreams, most of which include me smoking. I never had smoking dreams before, so it was a surprise that I have them this time. It is nice that when I wake up and realize that I smoked in my dream I don't want to rush and get a pack of smokes.
I don't do this that much, but I want to give myself a pat on the back for going 3 weeks without smoking. I decided that when I reach a year of being smoke free I am going to have a big party in celebration. Seriously, getting my masters degree was not this hard.