Thursday, October 23, 2008

21 Days

Today marks 3 weeks that I have not smoked. It really has been the longest 3 weeks of my life. I have been sick and emotional but I think I am slowly getting better.

The first time I quit it was not that hard. Yes I had my moments where I would lose it, but overall it was pretty easy. I think that is why it was so easy for me to go back to smoking. I thought it was no big deal and that I would just quit again. No problem. Well.....this time has been pure hell. Physically I have felt horrible for the last 2 weeks. Yes I am breathing better and sleeping better, but I really feel like I have had the flu. I ended up staying home today because I didn't have enough energy to get out of bed. I slept for most of the day and still feel tired. Maybe I am getting too much sleep?

Emotionally I have been on a roller coaster the last 3 weeks. I have doubted myself and most of those in my life. Two days after I quit I spent the weekend with Susan, which turned out to not be a good idea. Apparently I was pretty moody and not a lot of fun to be around. I am thankful that she saw that it was not the normal Caroline and has hung in there.

I have had the weirdest dreams, most of which include me smoking. I never had smoking dreams before, so it was a surprise that I have them this time. It is nice that when I wake up and realize that I smoked in my dream I don't want to rush and get a pack of smokes.

I don't do this that much, but I want to give myself a pat on the back for going 3 weeks without smoking. I decided that when I reach a year of being smoke free I am going to have a big party in celebration. Seriously, getting my masters degree was not this hard.


MJ said...

Gimme a 2
gimme a 1
gimme a 21
how many is 21...
21 long hard earned days of clean lungs for my friend Carolina...yeah!

Renaissance Woman said...

Good for you!!!!

redfrog27 said...

Good job keep it up before you know it Mj will be doing the 41 day cheer.

Caroline said...

mj--thanks for the cheer. without your help last weekend i am not sure i would have made it to day 21..thanks again

renaissance has been hard and i think that is why i am proud of myself

redfrog--my next goal is 100 days. this will give mj some time to come up with a cheer for 100 days.

Lynilu said...


Monogram Queen said...

One day at a time..... I am so proud of you. Here's to the next 21!

amy h said...

School is nothing compared to life! Good job!

Caroline said...

lynilu--right back at ya

patti--thanks..i now have my eye on 100 days

amy--you are right...thanks for the encouraging words

MJ said...

Hi Caroline,
I'm a lurker and another MJ. I quit smoking 20-something years ago, but I remember the dreams about smoking. But every dream I had about smoking, when I woke up, I was always glad it was just a dream and that I hadn't actually done it. I think the fact that it's not making you want to go out and smoke is a good sign. Quitting is tough. But you're tougher. Keep it up.