Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Crappy Wagon

Today is a new day.

It's been a rough week, but I am determined to get back on the wagon. Yes, I did fall off the wagon in regards to smoking. Saturday night I felt that I had no more coping skills and I went and got a pack of cigarettes. I am giving myself until Monday and then I will start again. I have some really good friends that did exactly what I needed: they challenged me in regards to me smoking again. I was not upset at them and it really did make me think about what I am capable of and what I deserve. If others can see the good in me and see all the good things I deserve then maybe I can give it a try myself. I still have my Positive Board up on my wall and I think I am going to write two things every day that I am proud of or that I like about myself.

I do want to address one of the comments I received yesterday. Someone named "weary" asked if I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I am not sure how this person (who obviously knows very little about me) can take what I wrote yesterday as feeling sorry for myself. Each day I write things here that some of my IRL friends don't even know and I really don't appreciate someone saying that my struggle with my self-esteem and self value is feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for myself would be complaining about things and not trying to change. If you knew anything about me you would know I am working my ass off on making myself and my life better. And I say once again, if you don't like what I write here then don't read. It's as simple as that.

In other news: I went to the dentist today. I had two cavities filled and one of my teeth prepared for a crown. My dentist gave me the good stuff because the entire right side of my face is numb all the way to my eye. I go back in two weeks for a cleaning and to have my crown put on and then I am done until January. I have two more crowns that I need to get, but since I have maxed out my insurance for the year, my dentist said it can wait. Since my mouth is still pretty numb it means I will be having applesauce and mashed potatoes for dinner. Actually, what sounds really good for dinner is Sonic's Island Fire Burger. Has anyone else tried this? Oh my gosh...it is so good.

11 comments:

Lynilu said...

No need to beat yourself up. You are going to make it. Period.

And secondly ... ignore the jerks. People like that don't know you, and they certainly don't deserve your time. Weary can take his/her tired butt elsewhere.

I have not tried that burger, but the ads sound very good! Now I'm hungry for one, too!! thanks. LOL!!

MJ said...

I know you like being hopped up on the gas...hope that is a bright spot in the week. Get back on the wagon quick!

Caroline said...

lynilu--whatever you do, don't try the burger because you will become addicted to it.

mj--if i suddenly say i am going to the dentist a lot, you will know why....yes that stuff is good and may become my next addiction.

Weary said...

Caroline, I have been reading you for quite a while and all i see is a pity party. Suck it up! There are people with REAL problems... Stop analyzing everything and live your fucking life. I read you, cause one day I hope that you might just do that.

Caroline said...

weary--what i don't understand is why you won't leave your comments under your real name. after this comment i know exactly who you are and you are a coward for not leaving your name. afraid that others will go to your blog and see that it is actually you that is having a pity party?

Audra said...

mmmmm sonic.

Julie said...

Who would want to hang around and read a "pity party"? You are sort of saying more about yourself here, Weary. Yes...tired but - go elsewhere.
C, do something nice for yourself today. We need a project maybe, like doing the 21 things photo challenge or something.

Monogram Queen said...

Just pick yourself up and go on...

Weary just makes ME weary with their stupid comments. Go do some backreading Weary then come back and comment.

I don't have the nerve to try that burger - but i've seen it! I hated their fried macaroni bites. Ack.

Monogram Queen said...

Ah ha after reading below I believe that reading is your ex-friend Trop? Correct me if i'm wrong and if I am I apologize Trop.

Caroline said...

audra--do you not have sonic in CA?

julie--your idea for the photo project is great. thanks...i will do a post later tonight with my first photo

patti--it was not trop, but it was one of her followers. obviously someone has too much time on their hands to read the blog of someone they don't like

Renaissance Woman said...

Good for you girl! If people are going to leave crappy comments they should have the courage to be honest and use their blog names. Go grab your burger...which by the way I have not tried.