Sunday, May 11, 2008

Little Miss Sunshine

Bonk has a new nickname and it's very fitting after she spent about an hour on the tiny ledge in the window this morning. I love this picture because you can see her reflection in the window.

I was going to leave my last post up a little longer, but decided I could not look at the picture of my Mom and I anymore. I emailed my Mom on Thursday night and I received a response from her late last night and then again this morning. I am not sure how she does it, but my Mom's response has left me speechless....again.

Part of me wants to drive over to their house and scream and cry that I am their daughter and tell them I just want them to love me. I know that if I were to do that I would just be wasting my time because my parents do not consider me their daughter anymore.

I know I am suppose to be learning some lesson here, I just wish I could figure out what it is. Whatever the heart is still just really hurting today. I have tried for 4 years to accept that my parents do not like me and I have no idea why I can not accept it.


R said...

I'm so sorry. You know, the one thing I have learned is that no matter how old we are, we always strive to please our parents in some way shape or form. It sucks. I don't get it either. We can't help how we feel, those are our parents and we just want them to love us unconditionally. And it is HORRID when they don't. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Sending you big hugs!!

kat said...

some days a heart just hurts. whatever the lesson and wherever the journey takes us, we all want that approval and acceptance. its a part of being human. its amazing that a spirit has a way of growing stronger and a heart, bigger, for all the tears we cry. here's hoping that yesterday, tho i know bittersweet, you were able to embrace those HAPPY memories. much love.

Monogram Queen said...

So sorry you are hurting. Wish I could give you a hug!