Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The Day Before

I can't believe I keep forgetting to tell you what I found outside my front door last week.
The previous night I was walking Sophie and we kept hearing something walking in the wooded area right in front of our apartment. At first it sounded like someone was out there so we quickly got inside. The next morning I heard the same movement and couldn't believe what was just a few feet in front of me. I got Sophie inside before she scared them away and I went and grabbed my camera. There were at least 5 deer. Sadly I have not seen anymore since then, but it's cool knowing they are out there and so close.

It seems that tomorrow will be the day when I stop smoking. I am down to less then a pack of cigarettes and I really feel ready. I have only shared with two people IRL what my plans are because I don't want to set myself up to fail. If I told you that I was not scared or a little sad, I would be lying. But a couple things have helped me decide that I have no other choice. One of them was my friend Amy's comment about her Dad dying from cancer. It really made me think when she said, "imagine only having 15 more years." (Her Dad passed away at 49) No, I can't imagine if I only had 15 years and if I keep smoking then that is a possibility. The other thing came from a video I was watching with our clients. In the video it said that humans are the only species that inhale smoke rather then run from it. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Last night we had our first thunderstorm of the spring. Everything sounded so different in our new home. Even the way the ground would shake was different. I am so used to hearing the rain and thunder, but really it was not that bad last night. Apparently it was a pretty loud storm, but to me it was just a small storm. I like feeling kind of protected during storms. One of my fears is being struck my lightening, so it was nice knowing I am on the bottom floor.
I took this picture of Ben tonight and thought it was cute. Since my coffee table is too big to be in front of the couch I have it across the room in a corner. I use this chair to put my laptop on and Ben has decided this is his spot. He gets so upset when he has to move. I tend to keep the laptop on my lap longer because I hate making him move. I do love having him so close though.

Please keep me in your thoughts as the next couple of days could be a little rough. But I know I can do it!!


redfrog27 said...

My dad died at the age of 55 from lung cancer also.Leaving an 8 year old (me) a 6 year old and a 2 year old for my mom to raise by herself

Chelle said...

Wishing you the strength to follow through.

Julie said...

Oh you can SO do it~and I think it's great that you are!

trinity2 said...

You can do it!

Patti said...

I know you can do it too! Go Caroline!

Isn't it wonderful knowing nature is near?

Ben is such a cutie but then I have a soft spot for black cats (got two of my own)

Eye of the Rainbow said...

You can do it Caroline!! We are all on your side wishing you good luck with the struggle.