How can you tell it's daylight savings time? I am up on a Sunday morning at 6:45am blogging. I am sure that extra hour of sleeping will come in handy tomorrow morning.
I am not sure why I didn't write about this a month ago when it happened, but here goes. About a month ago Laura told me that she was going to start sending me a little bit of money each month to help with the mortgage. She told me that she wanted to look back on this situation and know she did the right thing. I guess the first 7 months didn't really count to her. I don't know. I am extremely thankful that she is helping me. But it also makes me a little angry at myself. I am angry that I have allowed myself to get in a situation where I can't pay all my basic bills without the help of someone else.
I am trying to figure out how I am going to get myself out of this situation and I can't see how it will all work out. Well, if the house sells that would help, but I don't expect that to happen for a while. Thursday night there was a part on the news about all the foreclosures in the KC area. There were 3 zip codes that are considered hot spots in regards to foreclosures. My zip code was one of them. During September there were 83 houses in my zip code in foreclosure. Holy crap that is a lot of houses. No wonder my house is not selling and we aren't having any lookers. I am just thankful that Lynilu sold her house when she did, otherwise she could have been in the same situation as I am.
When I think about Laura and her life now I get very angry. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side, but I really think it is in this case. I see Laura getting whatever she wants, going on all kinds of trips and having NO money issues. Then there is me. Because of the situation with Brady I only have $20 to get me through until Friday. And I still need to get gas. Ugh.
I am so embarrassed that I am in this situation. I am not spending money on crazy stuff and eating out a lot, I am just getting the basic things. And even then I struggle. If I had a true emergency where I needed some money I have no idea what I would do. And that really scares me.
I have never been in a situation like this and I am trying to figure it all out. I know one way or another it will work out, but boy it's stressful. I've thought about a part time job, but the job I have now keeps me busy 24/7. And to be honest, I am not sure if I have the energy to work another job in the evenings or weekends.
OK, that's the end of my rant for this Sunday morning.
13 comments:
I've come to the point where I realize that when you're at your lowest, relationship-wise, financially and other, it only goes up from there. Focus on "you" and never mind what she's doing in her life. Remember, she's only going to let you see the 'good things' that are happneing. Is she truly happy? Who knows. Look at things from a different perspective.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but you know something, over here in New York, it is literally impossible to live on your own without a second income, unless you are a complete millionaire. Please, do not feel bad. Why do you think there are tons of foreclosures? You're not alone.
Don't feel ashamed. You're working hard to do your best. That's all you can do.
My prayers and thoughts go out to you!
Deb
I don't know your complete situation and I am only throwing this out there as something to consider (you may already have) but the holidays are coming up and a lot of places are looking for seasonal help at night and on the weekends - could be something to think about plus you could end up with a discount at that place too. I know you probably don't want to do it forever but it might help you get over the "hump". Just a suggestion.
Oh and Deb was right - focus on you now not on what others have. Truth be told I bet there are lots of people that are envious of you and you don't even know it
Caroline-
I know what you mean about money troubles. For the first time in our married life we are seriously struggling here...but tha tis what happens when you have 2 surgeries and 4 babies in 2 years....
Hoping you see some light at the end of your very dark tunnel soon!
I'm sorry that your going through a crap time. Please hang in there.
deb--thanks for the comment. you are probably right about laura and that i am only seeing the good. i'm not real sure what's going on with all the foreclosures. it's actually really sad to see all these houses neglected
cheeky--my last job has offered for me to do a class twice a week, so that is good. i don't think i could handle retail again, but we'll see
jaded mama--i know you guys have had some struggles the last couple of years. sometimes when i am really down i think of you and all you have been through in the last two years and it kind of snaps me out of my funk. what i am going through does not compare to what you have had to endure.
sphincter--thankfully i have lots of good friends that are helping me hang on.
Caroline, you didn't allow yourself to get into this situation, Laura did it TO you. All of your budgeting, palns, expenses, etc...your life, was all built around two salaries, when she scr#@w around and cheated, she took that away from you. It's nothing you did or could control. You're doing the best you can with significantly less.
Caroline,
Get out your worry stones. I know it may sound trite, but you have said yourself they helped you.
Money issues suck. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
If I can do anything for you, please let me know.
sassy--you are right about the whole laura thing, but i think i made some poor decisions right after the breakup. but then again i shouldn't blame myself for being in shock.
katie--you're right, i should get out my worry stones. thanks for the reminder
There's a song by Wynonna and some of the lyrics go:
"When you hit rock bottom
You've got two ways to go
Straight up
And sideways
I have seen my share of hard times
And I'm letting you know
Straight up
Is my way
Things are tough all over
But I've got good news
When you get down to nothin'
You've got nothin' to lose
Anyway, rock bottom
Is good solid ground
And a dead end street
Is just a place to turn around"
You've got nowhere to go but up honey. I've been thinking of you.
Oh, boy, do I ever hear ya on this one. I am in exactly the same position. And this time of year for me is the worst, until February comes around again. That’s a lot of months. I have had to turn to my parents this year and I am so grateful that I have them – or I would be selling my house. This has been a particularly tough year with a lot of those unexpected expenses – like my car having to have major repairs, a trip for work at my own expense. You are not alone with your fear on this issue!
I think 'coupled' people forget how expensive it is to be single. That's always sort of bothered me when couple people wonder why I'm short on cash - how can I be when I don't have kids, right? Well, duh, I pay full for everything, and don't get to 'split the cost' of a darn thing with anyone, ever. I have huge respect for single women who do it year after year, I know how tough it is.
Feeling your pain Caroline, hoping it gets better :(
I left you a message here the other day, and now I see it isn't here. Maybe that was the day I was having internet problems. I don't remember the message exactly, but ... HUGS!!!
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