Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A Late Night


I ended up having a late night at work. I am responsible for conducting the fire/tornado/medical drills for the building. Because the clients are in a different building at night I had to go to the buildings tonight to do the tornado drill. I guess I should have planned it better since it was storming tonight. Oh well. One of my friends asked if I was a MSW or a safety monitor. There are many days that I feel more of a safety monitor then a MSW. Thankfully I love what I do and wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you all for your support and kind words in regards to my parents. I handle their rejection and lack of any parental love better then some days. Monday and Tuesday were not good days for me. I was feeling crappy and emotionally down. I hate when their hits come on days when I am feeling down anyway. Oh well...this too shall pass. I know I am a good person and I am just thankful that I did not learn about love and forgiveness from them. I often wonder where I did learn about love and forgiveness since it is so obvious I did not get it from them. Instead of thinking about it too much, I am just thankful that I do love and forgive better then my family.

I am feeling so much better. The antibiotics are really working. Yesterday when I was at work I was feeling pretty sick, but by 3pm I could tell a huge difference. I am glad I decided to go to the doctor on Monday because my face might have been the size of a balloon by now if I had not gone it. And I am thankful that my Dr. is so wonderful and gave me the samples instead of making me find an extra $200 that I don't have to get them.

I am truly blessed and I realize this every single day.

*The picture was taken on my way home tonight. I love the way the colors are reflecting off the street.*

7 comments:

One Messed Up Chick said...

i love that new picture on your blog, also the one you took tonight. we'll have to catch up on yahoo sometime soon :)

SassyFemme said...

Love the new banner pic at the top!

I think the love and forgiveness that you have comes from inside, in your soul, it's part of the beauty of what makes you who you are.

Glad you're feeling better!

Monogram Queen said...

Beautiful pic.
I think love and forgiveness are just YOU Caroline. You are wonderful and you inspire me every day. Thinking of you and what you've overcome helped me see how silly and petty I was being about my move.

Sonya said...

Glad you are feeling better!

>>I often wonder where I did
>>learn about love and forgiveness >>since it is so obvious I did not >>get it from them.

I truly believe that yes - our parents play an integral role in who we are and who we become.

However - I also personally believe that I was lucky and was highly influenced (in a good way) by a family that I was really close to in High School. If it weren't for them, I believe my life would be totally different today. I see my brothers and where their lives are - and while I realize that they are different beings - I also realize that they were raised with the same parental guidance (or lack thereof).

So maybe somewhere along your lifes path you've also been fortunate enough to be influenced by people that have allowed you or encouraged you to become the person you were really meant to be.

Lynilu said...

Oh, Caroline, I think you did learn love from your parents, but theirs is conditional, whereas yours is not. I'm glad you got the unconditional brand. It's much better. The forgiveness ... I think that is because you tune in to others' feelings, you have empathy. You spent your life striving to please, so you learned to read and respond to their energies. And fortunately, you kept that wonderful quality. With their lack of respect for our profession, I'm not surprised that they don't understand (or seemingly possess) empathy.

Whatever ... you're the best. And I'm glad you're feeling better.

:)

Caroline said...

eye--thanks for the compliments on the pictures. it only took me 2 years to figure out how to change the pic on the header.

sassy--thank you so much for your kind words and the compliment on the pic. the pic on my banner is my favorite pic.

patti--you made me cry with what you said. thank you for being so kind to me

sonya--i thought about your comment and i think i got a lot of my love and forgiveness from my Grandmothers. they were both so loving and i spent a lot of time with them when i was young.

lynilu--you are so right..i learned what NOT to do when you love someone from my parents. and yet another lightbulb moment

Anonymous said...

I didnt have the best upbringing either,my mom was abusive and just plain mean but I have children and someone asked me how i broke the cycle and my reply was I stop and think about the situation and do and say the opposite of what my mom would have done.Some days its not easy but damn it all someone has to break the cycle.