Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I've Known You Forever

I need to learn to stop dreading things or dates. For the last couple of months I had been dreading my birthday. I have spent so many birthdays alone and I just hate that feeling. The last three I had were great because Laura was with me and I did not feel alone and I felt like someone was happy I was around.

This past weekend was so good. About halfway through the weekend I was wishing I could stop time and just sit and enjoy how good I was feeling. Not only did I get to meet NSP, but I also got to meet Dee and her husband (who by the way is so funny), but I met someone that could turn out to be someone really special to me. Most of the weekend was spent meeting up with NSP and Dee and talking on the phone with St. Louis (STL). After talking with STL for the second day I finally understood Laura talking on the phone for hours and hours with Sharon. Now, I know the situation with Laura was very different, but I did find some understanding.

The very first time I talked with STL it wasn't like I was talking with a stranger, but an old friend that I had lost contact with. There were no awkward moments of silence or trying to figure out what to say. We just started talking and it seems like we have not stopped talking for five days. How in the world could I know someone forever that I just met?

I have been living on about 4-5 hours of sleep a night since Sunday night. I don't think I have ever been so happy to be so tired. These days I would rather talk on the phone then eat, do laundry or mow my yard. For those that know me really well, know I am a crazy person when it comes to my yard. Yea, I don't care about the yard. Hopefully I will get motivated to mow before I get a notice from the city.

I think I am getting my first clarification as to why all this happened between me and Laura.

7 comments:

Dee said...

I'm so glad that you have found a little piece of happiness and hope that it continues. You have no idea how big of a smile there is on my face right now (and not because you said my hubby was funny!).

Casey said...

Congrats on finding happiness again - you definitely deserve to be happy. :)

One Messed Up Chick said...

Its nice to see you happy :) I can feel you smiling :)

Caroline said...

dee--it feels good to be happy about something other then laura.

casey--thank you casey. it's been a long couple of months of learning and sadness so feeling happy feels very good right now

eye--yes i am smiling big time.

Lynilu said...

I'm glad you're moving ahead into a positive place. Every relationship is a step. You grow with every one. Remember that Laura was your first "real" relationship, and you'll learn to enjoy each one for what it teaches you, what you bring away, how it makes you grow. Yes, you'll shed some tears again from time to time, but keep enjoying. You're worth it.

Holly said...

That sounds wonderful!
I guess things do happen for a reason. I'm so thrilled that you seem so happy!

Monogram Queen said...

Whatever helps you and makes you feel happy and better! Vive' Le Phone!
You deserve to be happy and maybe STL will turn out to be "the one".