Monday, April 02, 2007

I'm Here

Well, I made it here safe and sound. I left my hotel around 8am thinking I would get in around 2pm or so. I actually got in around 3:15pm. Today's drive was so long. The last couple of hours was in the mountains, which were beautiful, but I think that caused me to loose some time.

I am exhausted. Well, I was exhausted before today's drive, but now I am really exhausted. I cried for the last 2 hours of the drive so mentally I am spent. I think what upset me so much was knowing why I was coming to visit Lynilu. Don't get wrong, I am thrilled to see Lynilu, but the circumstances to my visit are not the best. Thankfully, she is being a very gracious host and friend and is allowing me to cry when I need to.

I am hoping the next couple of days bring me that peace I have been searching for. I need peace and I need the power to let go. Letting go is the hardest and I am struggling so much with letting go. I wish there was a magic pill that would allow me to let go of Laura. It is just so hard to let her go. I miss her more then words can express. Even when we were in the house together I was missing her. I miss the good times we once shared together. I miss her laughter and her smile. I miss all of her.

I am off to bed since I am so tired. I pray I can get a good nights sleep. Please say some extra prayers for me the next couple of days. I have a lot to work through and I wonder if I can actually do what needs to be done. Please pray as I will be praying as well.

7 comments:

Casey said...

I'm glad you made it safe and sound. Even though I have been MIA this past week, you have been in my thoughts a great deal. Take good care of yourself and allow yourself time and space to grieve. Once you grieve, the healing will begin. You'll see.
Hugs.

Rain said...

new blog: http://mandalists.blogspot.com/

Minnesota Nice said...

Between Lynilu and all the Creme Brulee, I'm sure you will be smiling soon :) Hope you got your camera working.

Anonymous said...

i agree with casey. you cant hurry this thing. i guess you could try, but grief and its process will not be hurried.
you will get on the other side of it though. just take it one moment at a time. my grief experience has opended my heart and i am really experiencing life now at more profound level than ever before.

carolyn in austin

yankeegirl said...

Caroline- you're in my thoughts and prayers. All these other folks have given you great advice.
Relax and take care of YOU. (((HUGS)))

One Messed Up Chick said...

Enjoy your time with your friend and just relax. Dont sweat the small stuff :)
~HUGS~

Holly said...

I hope the visit helps you work things out. Seems like Lynilu is the right person to visit!
we're thinking of you and your search for peace!