Monday, November 10, 2008

Content, Happy and In Love

When I was diagnosed as a borderline diabetic in January 2005 Laura was devastated. I later found out that she went to her Mom and cried about my diagnosis. She went out and bought a bunch of books and told me exactly what I needed to do to get better. I think she was trying to be good about it, but the way she brought the information to me was not healthy at all. I always felt bad for being a diabetic and somehow felt ashamed and I think it has to do with how Laura reacted to my initial diagnosis. It was like my diagnosis as a diabetic was making her look bad in some way and she needed to make sure that she did not look bad in anyway. (She was a lot like my Mom in that way) I don't think she realized that this had nothing to do with her. I really think she was doing what she thought was best, but it was just not healthy for either of us.

When I told Susan about the test results, the first thing she said was, "So what is our plan". I loved that she didn't make me feel bad or embarrassed and I really loved how she wanted to be included in my plan, not create the plan. So over the weekend we talked about what my plan was and I really feel for the first time that I can control my diabetes and get healthy.

I started my medication over the weekend and have some side effects, but nothing too major. I feel better just knowing I am doing something to help my body. And now that it's winter I know I will be outside more often. Sophie has been driving me crazy wanting to be outside all the time. It's times like this that I am really sad that she does not have a yard. Sophie loves winter and cold weather so much that she would just stay outside for a couple of hours with no problem. One day we'll have a yard again.

Yesterday Susan and I met MJ and Cowboy for breakfast. It was great that MJ was finally able to meet Susan since I seem to talk about her a lot. We then went to a park where I took some pictures of MJ and Cowboy for their wedding invitations. And then Susan was able to meet the infamous Sadie. Sadie was so excited to see me and I asked if she wanted to come home with me, but MJ kept saying, "No."

A year ago my life was up in the air. Now I feel like things have settled down and I am content, happy and in love. Can it get any better?

8 comments:

amy h said...

Diabetes is something YOU have to control every day, so I'm glad you're trying do it in a way that works for YOU, not anyone else. In Laura's defense, I have no idea what her motivation might have been, but I know that when someone you love gets that diagnosis, it is very worrying, and you just want to do whatever you can to help. Sometimes that might not come out in the best way. I watched my grandma become bed-ridden, barely able to see, and in pain. It's hard to know what to do to be helpful. I'm glad Susan wants to encourage your plan and not make your plan.

Caroline said...

amy--i totally agree with you and i know laura was just very concerned. but she would say things that made me ashamed that i was a diabetic. it's kind of like quitting smoking...i have to do it for me no one else. i think my relationship with laura was so co-dependant that i was only wanting to get better because it would make her happy. it's different now because i want to get better for me.

redfrog27 said...

Caroline, my husband is also diabetic. My brother was also a severe diabetic but his was type 1 and hard to control I would be interested to know what meds you started. Can I point out that you stopped smoking at a great time one should not smoke battling diabetics. You can email me at redfrog27@ yahoo.com if you dont want to post it here

Caroline said...

redfrog--i am also glad that i quit smoking because quitting junk food and smoking at the same time would be too hard. :) they started me on metformin (sp?). i take it twice a day.

MJ said...

I'm glad you found someone that wants to join with you in the things that you do. And thanks for taking the pics.

MidlifeMutant said...

I, too, am type 2 diabetic.

I wish you luck!

Caroline said...

mj--you are welcome for taking the pictures. i really enjoyed it. anytime you guys want pictures taken just let me know.

midlifemutant--thanks for the luck.

Monogram Queen said...

I love Susan's response "So what is our plan". I also love you took MJ & Cowboys pics for their wedding invitations. *sigh* I so wish I could get to KC/Minnesota for a visit!!!! I want to meet y'all IRL so bad!