Monday, July 28, 2008

Maybe You are Right

In a small town outside of Kansas City, a man went into a Kingdom Hall and committed suicide. When I heard this it made me so sad. They have not said if the man was a witness, but I know he was. I imagine he was disfellowshipped and could not handle the isolation he was suddenly experiencing. You can watch the the segment HERE.

I can not explain to you how isolated you feel when you are disfellowshipped. Your entire life is about being a witness and nothing else, so when you are suddenly out there you feel so unprepared. Those first few years after I was disfellowshipped were the hardest time of my life. I had to relearn how to do everything. 4+ years later I still find myself working on the things that most people my age learned twenty years ago.

When I hear about an ex-Jehovah's Witness that has committed suicide, I realize that maybe everyone is right and I really am strong.

10 comments:

Cheeky said...

you are - more than you will ever realize

Renaissance Woman said...

I am very sorry for the sadness that this man must have felt. It is a terrible thing to make people feel so alone and empty. I am glad you found other things to fill you up.

redfrog27 said...

You are a strong woman but I think we are all stronger then we give ourselves credit for.

Fern said...

You are. And they are wrong to make anyone feel so isolated and apart.

traci said...

Oh wow. This post felt like a punch in the gut to me. How awful for that man and his family. It breaks my heart to think of that isolation but I know it well.

I understand what you're saying about still learning stuff that most people learned when they were much younger. I'm doing that too.

Julie said...

What Fern said.
Organized religion sucks.

kyky7079 said...

First time poster here....

I spent 30 years of my life in a religion that many have referred to as "cult-ish" and "fanatic". Two weeks before my 30th birthday I was excommunicated and stripped of my membership for being a homosexual. I wasn't breaking any church rules, I just was not willing to say that I was wrong or that I would change. I can relate to this so closely - and the night after my excommunication was one of the darkest of my life. I understand why this gentleman took his life and I am deeply saddened by his loss - even though he is a stranger to me.

One thing I learned from my experience is that I spent my life feeling like I "had" to be good and once I left the church I was good because I "wanted" to be. I could write a novel about the evils of organized religion, but I'll spare all of your readers. Just know that this post really touched me on a personal level and I am thinking of both the man who took his life, his family - your journey and all others out there in similar situations. Thanks for listening.

Monogram Queen said...

Yes ma'am just remember you are strong... strong enough to bend as well. I feel for that poor man also.

Sandra said...

It will be very interesting if it comes out that this man was disfellowshipped...I'll bet you're right, though.

Francesca said...

Wow! That is so terribly sad! I feel so bad for this man. I have known people who have been disfellowshipped and I understand what you mean about the isolation. I think more people need to understand what it must be like in the way you have described it - the bit about having to relearn everything because your whole life has been about being a Witness. I can see how it can have a huge impact and it doesn't seem like a very caring process - the whole disfellowshiping thing.

Whatever the case, you have so much to be proud of because it takes an enormous amount of courage to live life on your own terms, as you have done. You are amazing for having the strength to do that. Congrats! xx