Thursday, July 17, 2008

Grandpa

Last night right before I went to bed I read the obituaries; as I do everyday. Every time I get close to the M's I kind of hold my breathe because I am worried that I will see that one of my parents has passed away. Well, last night I read that my late Grandma's (Mom's Mom) husband passed away on Sunday.

F became part of our family in 1985 when he married my Grandma. My Grandpa had passed away two years earlier and I loved the fact that my Grandma found someone. F was such a sweet and gentle person. And he was so good to my Grandmother. Whatever my Grandma wanted he got for her. For their honeymoon he took her to New Zealand because she had always wanted to go there. When F and my Grandma got married I was told that didn't have to call him Grandpa and I could call him by his first name if that made me feel more comfortable. I always did call him by his first name, but I know he looked at us kids (5 including my cousins) as his Grand kids. When I got married he said to me, "I know I have only been your Grandpa for ten years, but I love you very much." I really didn't know my Mom's Dad and have always referred to him as my Grandpa, but now that F is gone I wish I had called him Grandpa because he was exactly that....my Grandpa. I know that is something he would have really wanted.

I am also sad that I was not notified by my family. Just a few weeks ago I read in the obituaries that my Great Aunt passed away. I know my family doesn't want anything to do with me, but I would appreciate if someone would let me know if someone passes away.

The Memorial Service for F is on Saturday. I know I would not be welcome if I went, but there is still part of me that thinks I need to say goodbye to my Grandpa.

11 comments:

Casey said...

I'm sorry about your grandfather. Saying goodbye doesn't h ave to take place at the service, you can say your goodbyes anyway you see fit.

I'm really sorry. :(

redfrog27 said...

I am sorry Caroline. It's hard to know what to do. I agree with Casey goodbyes dont need to be said at the service

Monogram Queen said...

I am so sorry. You do what makes YOU comfortable, not your family.
How wonderful he was so good to your Grandma.

Dee said...

I'm sorry about your Grandpa. I'm also sorry with the family situation you are forced to deal with. I agree with Casey. You can say your Goodbye how ever you need to.

Big hugs.

Arial Ray said...

I'm so sorry. It's bad enough that you have to deal with the loss, but your family situation just compounds everything.

Lynilu said...

As you know from our conversation last night, I agree with you about what a gentle, sweet, and fine man he was. His heart was very good, and I think there was never a doubt that he loved your Grandma very much. I'm sure he did you, as well.

You know, you might be able to slip by the funeral home before the visitation and have a few private moments. Worth a try. Or you could visit the grave site after he is buried.

Neither is essential. You can hold him in your heart, as I know you do, and say what you want and need to say. He'll know. :')

MJ said...

I agree, saying good-bye should happen as you see fit and doesn't have to be in a formal setting.

Renaissance Woman said...

I am so sorry for your loss...and I'm sure that he knew you loved him very much! And it is a sad that your family did not contact you. You are a great person and I am sorry that your family is missing out.

R said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel you should do what you feel is best as far as saying good bye. But I agree with the others, it does not have to take place at the service. Only you know what will feel right to you.
Hugs.

amy h said...

If you feel like going to the service would be a positive thing for you, then go. But if it would make things harder for you, maybe you could find a way to say goodbye that feels more positive. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. If he felt like a grandpa, he was one. :)

Fern said...

I'm so sorry.