Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Forgiveness

This is one of my favorite pictures of Ben. To me it looks like he is peaking out to make sure the coast is clear. That's kind of how I feel right now. I am slowly peaking around the corner and checking to make sure I am OK.

When we are faced with life's challenges I think we learn a lot about not only those around us, but ourselves as well. To say the last month has been a challenge is probably the understatement of the year. I have tried to keep myself above water, but I have had several days where I go under and slowly see the surface disappearing. It's hard to predict what you would do in certain situations and I certainly was not prepared for this past month.

With everything I go through in life I try to figure out what lesson I need to be learning. For the last 29 days I have been trying to figure out what my lesson was suppose to be. I was betrayed on so many levels by someone that I felt was a friend and in just one instant how I dealt with things in the past was out there for so many people to know. I am working on not being ashamed of how I coped with the break-up and my family, but I feel that my choice to share it was stolen. Think about your deepest secret and now think about how it would feel if that secret was suddenly out there in the open.

One of the hardest things to do is to forgive someone that has really hurt you. The way I see it, I have two choices: I can continue to be angry with this person and give them the control or I can forgive them and let go and let God.

I am choosing forgiveness.

11 comments:

traci said...

I have a feeling about this post and all I can say is "Good for you, Caroline." I'm glad you are choosing to do what's best for you. Peace.

Julie said...

I wonder if there is an in between place...like purgatory, before forgiveness. Somewhere that you can go to where you aren't really angry or hurt but you aren't exactly feeling compassion towards people who do things that hurt you. I'm there with my office situation - maybe it applies here too?

redfrog27 said...

Good for you I am going to blog about forgiveness also later today. I think it helps and you know its not for the person who harmed you its for you I think when the person is ready to forgive it is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves its also another part of healing. Good Job

R said...

I know that is one of the hardest things to do, one I struggle with all the timee. I am so glad you are choosing forgiveness. Good for you Caroline. I know you will find the peace within yourself.

Cheeky said...

Forgiveness is a hard hard thing. I am trying so hard to forgive the one person in my life who should have never betrayed me - but did. I have struggled for 2 months.

Thank you for this post today. It reminded me to work harder to forgive.

Sonya said...

I'm sorry it has been a hard month!

I loved Julie's words... purgatory. Not that forgiveness is bad or anything. If one can fully forgive that is awesome. But to me that also means that the person being forgiven has stopped their behavior. I've personally felt "in the middle" with some people for a long time and it feels good to put this word to it. A revelation for me.

I hope your coming days are greatly improved.

Fern said...

We've all done things we'd prefer were kept private. I'm proud of you for chosing to forgive -- I don't know if I could.

Lynilu said...

Most of us struggle to forgive, I think. We work at it, think about it, try to conger up a magic potion to make it work, and it becomes a job. I like what you said about let go and let God. That is the only way, just let go and know it will be taken care of.

:) You're gettin' there, girl. And you're gonna shine! (Well, you do already, but you'll shine more!!)

Jaded Mama said...

I am sorry you were hurt that way. Heres to moving forward. The past is best left where it lays.

beans said...

Yeah, what everyone else said so eloquently! I have to give some props for forgiveness . . .life feels so much better with out the crap hanging out of my back pocket. Now, about the stuff in the front pocket, well, that will take some more time! You are doing what you need to be doing right now, be gentle with yourself.

B said...

My psychiatrist told me that this was the year when I realized that people will do bad things, and possibly treat you badly, regardless of how nice or good you are to them.

Certainly, treating someone the way that you want to be treated can help minimize the risk of being betrayed, but it can't eliminate it. Nothing can.

I guess I just wanted to say: it's not your fault. Whatever happened (and I don't even know), I just know that I've been going through a hard time lately where I've struggled with accepting that I can't take responsibility (or blame) for other people's behavior.