I was just sitting in my office (working on my evaluations) when a Keith Urban song came on the radio and it took me back almost 4 years ago. Laura and I had been dating for 3 months and we took a weekend trip together. As we were driving this song came on the radio and I remember looking over at Laura watching her sing and thinking how happy and lucky I was.
For some reason today hearing that song caused this huge sadness and my heart literally felt like it was breaking all over again.
I do not want Laura back (especially after this past year and all the events), but I am sad about how things ended and how betrayed I was in the end. I am sad that I gave my heart and soul to someone that had no right to have it in the first place. I am sad that I loved someone more then I loved myself.
I used to think that I was so lucky to have someone as beautiful as Laura and wondered how that worked out because I have never found myself that attractive. When we broke up I thought that I would never find someone as beautiful as she was. And still today I wonder if I will ever find someone as beautiful as I thought Laura was. I used to be so proud that she was my partner.
And now things are so different. I still think Laura is pretty, but her personality really makes that beauty fade...a lot.
I normally love hearing songs that take me back to good times, but when the good times are now overshadowed by lies and deceit, it's no fun going back.