My family has come back with a vengeance. My brother left 4 nasty comments overnight regarding every single thing I have done wrong in regards to my family. To say it's been upsetting is an understatement. Why won't they just leave me alone? Apparently he is upset because a month ago I posted a picture of my nephew when he was one day old. He said in his comment that he is filing a police report with the Kansas City Police department and that he is getting restraining orders against me. He seems to think that I am still in contact with my oldest nephew, which I am not and have not seen my nephew since December. I think he even reported me to Blogger for infringement on the picture of my nephew. Not too sure how that can be when I have the actual picture at my house. I am not too worried about it because I really don't have the energy right now to worry about it.
But I am sad. I am really sad and hurt that his comments still pierce my heart like they do. I sat at home this morning at 5:15am reading his comments wondering why he hated me so much. What have I ever done to him? I understand the people do not like me and some even hate me, but when it's family and they throw things back in your face that you have been through it is really hard. As I drove to work I cried the entire way. I really can't take anymore of my families very public hate for me and all I am.
We all make mistakes and I admit that I have made my fair share of mistakes in life. But when you love someone you can forgive those mistakes. Why is it that my mistakes are unforgivable to my family? Am I really that bad of a person?
I am just really sad today and really hurt. Sometimes I wonder what God is trying to teach me. I wish I could figure out what this lesson is so I can at least change what I need to. And if there is no lesson, then I wish my family would just leave me alone. I am done fighting. They win. If they were hoping to break me down, they have achieved that.
I will ask this one thing of all of you out there: please just pray for me today. Something about his comments and all he wrote has hurt me more then ever. I need strength right now and I can't seem to find my own strength right now.
26 comments:
I couldnt sleep. I decided to get up and check out some of my favourite blogs. I was saddened to read what is going on in your life. Nobody deserves that kind of negativity in their lives and you certainly do not deserve it. Here is a big hug from blogland.
I know you're hurting, but don't doubt yourself. Continue to remain true to your values and prinicples.
Don't let them win you have come way to far. If you need to go private then so be it. You have the right not to be hassled by your family.
Kerry
You know you're in my thoughts. If you wanna chat you know where to find me.
I think God is showing what an asshole your brother is and trying to teach your family a lesson, using you as his vessel but they just keep resisting and doing pointless stupid worthless things. IGNORE them Caroline. Seriously. They are not worth your time or energy to get upset over. If I lived in the KC area I swear I would go postal on your idiot brother. Gah.
I would keep sticking to those that bring positive into your life and push the negatives to the side.
The lesson will make itself clear to you when you are ready. It usually does. Don't force it, be patient. Some of the hardest things we have to do in life bring us the greatest rewards.
You are in my prayers for sure.
May tomorrow be a better day.
"What others think of me is none of my business." It;s a good line but I know it's hard to toss it into play when people who are supposed to love you no matter what act like jerks.
They do not win unless YOU let them win. And what are they supposed to be winning anyway? You are a strong, capable woman who is clearly able to love and receive love. A woman who is in control of her life. Let me repeat that HER LIFE. This is your life and you shouldn't let them make you doubt yourself.
Some people are angry, bitter, sad little people. Be grateful you didn't come from that genetic make-up. Hold your head high and remember that you are loved my the family you created for yourself.
If they feel the desire to roll in the mud with pigs, don't roll with them - keep your head up and deal with each thing if and when it becomes reality. Remember the story of the Three Little Pigs and the Wolf - they can huff and puff but they can't blow your house in.
Be proud of yourself.
Caroline, I'm not surprised. He is a loser who wants to drag everyone down to his level. The picture thing is just ridiculous. No one would recognize that baby now that he is growing up. He just want to hurt you as he has done your whole life. I'd consider making the blog private again. When you open it up again perhaps change the name to keep him from finding it. He is such a louse. You, however, are a wonderful woman, something that he will never understand.
I know you are sad, and I am sorry that you're sad. It makes me sad to see you hurting. You know you have the support and love of the family you have created yourself here in KC and in blogland. It will be okay, really. You are in my thoughts and my prayers.
Love,
S
The best revenge? Is to keep living your life and to be happy. I know its hard to ignore but let is slide off. Don't hold on to it.
Big Hugs from MN my friend.
A lurker sending you a big hug
What a loser, I am sorry to be calling names to your family. But he is a jerk!
He is harrassing you too by coming to your blog and leaving messages like those. Keep that in mind!!! Dont doubt who you are and who you are growing to be. You have a different kind of family that loves you so if it means going private do it, but dont let them take you away from the rest of us!!
big hugs and much love
Unforunately that is the downside to blogging...unless youare private anyone who wants to can access your page.
Sorry your family is doing this to you. Sometimes its best to cut the strings, build up an emotional wall, and not let them climb over.
HUGS
AWWWWW Hun I am sorry.Your in my thoughts and prayers
I was going to say what Cheeky said about the best revenge. I'm quite sure that the biggest reason they keep lashing out so hatefully is that they are deep down VERY jealous of you. Otherwise they wouldn't bother.
I'm so sorry you're hurting. Every time I read a post like this, it just ANGERS me! I don't understand! All I know is that you're a wonderful person with such a darling personality and you don't deserve this...especially from supposed "family." Just remember my two favorite things I tell myself when I'm feeling down...
"God gave me the situation, so he'll give me the strength to get through it."
&
"This, too, shall pass..."
Lots of love and prayers Caroline. Keep that chin of yours up...way up!
IMO, It's not what you've done to them, it's that you're happy. It seems to be a repeating pattern that when you're happy and life is good, they sucker punch you.
They do not win Caroline, you do. You broke free of that life, and you've overcome more adversity than most people ever will, and now you've got MG. You're the winner sweetie, by far.
There is a saying that "that which does not kill me makes me stronger", that may be true but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with the crap. Your brother sounds like a very disturbed man. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. Cling to the family you've made. And above all ask for help when you need it.
Sending warm thoughts and cyber hugs.
((((Caroline)))) sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I don't understand it either. It amazes me that your family has nothing better to do than to post these hurtful things and ask for long given gifts back. I know it hurts you deeply, I'm sorry. I have issues with my family too and it is amazing, even when you know how they are going to treat you how bad it hurts when they actually do it.
I can't wait until you are strong enough to realize what a total tool your brother is to have so much hatred. HE is the one with issues, not you...and I suspect that when reach a certain point (and the rollercoaster slows down) you'll eventually just feel sorry for him. All of them.
I agree with Lynilu about making the blog private again. This blog should be about YOU connecting with US (friends), not for someone with so many issues to lash out at you. They do NOT deserve to read about your life, as they walked away.
Ooh, I would like to punch him in the throat.
In the meantime, know this: you are a GOOD person and you DO NOT have to allow them in. A lot of us have already figured out that you can "choose your family" later in life and walk away from people who hurt you.
Here if you need me, thinking of you today.
You might want to consider going back non-public. That way they can't hurt you as easily.
What a shame that your family is so evil. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
Post a Comment