Dancing

There are some people in my life that I have a very strong, unique connection with. It's a connection that will never be broken and has stood the test of time. One of those connections has helped me more then others in the last few weeks. The last two months would have been so much harder without this particular connection.

When a tragedy hits it is true that you find out who your true friends are. I have been through hard times in the past, but nothing compared to the one I just went through. A couple things have made this experience different then other times. First of all, I had to learn how to depend on myself and no one else. In the past I have had my family and the church to help guide me through any situations. Usually both my family and church had exact guidelines as to how I was so handle the situation. I didn't have to think about what I needed to do, I just did what I was told. The problem with this: I never learned how to handle difficult situations on my own. Secondly, I under estimated the power of friends and those that are not biologically family and how much they can support you and help you redefine what family really is.

Those that are your real friends know exactly what to do for you and you don't have to tell them what you need. They call because they have sense that there is something wrong. They send you an email just to see how you are doing at that moment. They understand when you need a little space and some alone time. They tell you that you are a priority in their life. They love you even when you are not able to return that friendship at the moment. They understand when it takes you a few days to return a phone call. They get you out of the house. They make you laugh. They hold you when you need to cry. They help guide you through the process rather then rushing you to the end. They remind you that you are worth the fight and not to give up.

To say I have not been a good friend the last two months is a huge understatement. Several of my friends have been through very hard situations and I have not been there for them like I should. Each time a situation came up with one of my friends I had to make a choice; take care of them or take care of myself. For the first time in my life I choose myself and I did that several times over and over. I have learned not to feel guilty about taking care of myself and learning to say "no" to someone. I have learned it's OK to choose me over someone else. And much to my surprise, it felt good choosing myself.

I personally thank all of you that have been there for me. The calls I have received from around the country from my blogger friends have been an amazing feeling. People that have never met me and calling to just see how I was doing helped me through many, many lonely and sad days. Thank you just does not seem adequate, but for right now it will have to do.

And to that special connection: If you are reading this, and you will know exactly who you are, thank you for not only bringing that music back into my life, but for showing me that I should always take the time to dance.