An extra paycheck

This morning I called and checked our balance in our checking account. I do this every time we get paid since my check is automatically deposited. When I called this morning there was double the amount that should have been in there. It was as if I was paid twice. Surely, there was a mistake.

When I got to work I called my bank and they said, "yes we are having trouble with automatic deposits being credited 2-3x in accounts. We should have the problem corrected in one hour." I have called and checked our balance and gone online 4x times today and the money is still in there. Plus, when Laura went to deposit her check she said the money was still there.

How long should be wait until we start using that money? A month? Ninety Days? I think 6 months sounds good. If the money is still in there in August, then we will spend the money.

Reality TV Junkies Dream Week

Laura just called me and I told her the wonderful news about Tim & Faith coming to our lovely town in July. Laura who is not a huge fan of either Tim or Faith said we could go. I am so excited. She said it would be one of my b-day gifts. We decided that since her sister and brother-in-laws b-day are within a week of mine, we will get them tickets for their b-day as well. They are bigger fans then I am. Well, fans of Tim at least. I am even more thrilled that the concert will be inside. July in Kansas City can be very hot. I was going to pass up the concert if it was outside.

This is a wonderful week for reality tv junkies like myself. Last night we watched part of the Apprentice. Why just part of it? Well, about 10 minutes into it we paused it so Laura could make a phone call. That phone call ended up being about an hour. So, when she got off the phone I tried to record CSI that was on while we watched the end of the Apprentice, but instead it flipped over to that channel so we missed the entire Apprentice. We tried to go back and rewind, but it wouldn't let us. DAMN. We did successfully tape Wife Swap though. As you can tell we are still trying to learn out to use our DVR. Sometimes we press a button and it does the complete opposite of what we had wanted.

I am so excited about tonight. Not only do we have The Amazing Race, but we also have The Real World:Key West. I am mostly interested to see the house and get a peak of Key West since we will be there in roughly 39 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am also curious to see how bad the hurricane was there.

As I mentioned we have only 39 days left until we depart for the Keys. I can't wait, I can't wait!! A week on the beach is exactly what Laura and I need. Thinking back to October when we had to postpone our trip; we were so depressed. We just couldn't believe that we were not going. Now we are thrilled that our trip was postponed because we are going now. Most likely we wouldn't be going on another trip if we had made it to the Keys in October.

I am so excited!!

I heard the best news this morning when I was driving to work. Tim and Faith are coming to Kansas City in July for their Soul 2 Soul Tour. Have I told you lately how much I adore Faith Hill?

What Matters Most

Money. What does it mean to you? I know what money means to me..and it isn't that much. It seems that today people are so consumed with how much money they make and how many things they can buy with that money. It's important to remember that money is just paper. Money will never make you happy. Many people say "if I could just have more money then all my problems would be gone and I would be happy." It doesn't work that way. When Laura and I first got together we had literally no money. I was at a crappy job and she hadn't started teaching for the year yet (after being off for one year due to a broken ankle). Thinking back on those first few months and how much money we didn't have it, it didn't make a difference. We had some of the best times when we had no money. We found creative ways to have fun. We learned that there are a lot of things do around our city where you need no money. A few months after we got together we were making probably 4x more money. One thing I noticed: with more money comes more problems.

There are many people that use money as their main focus. I feel sorry for those people. For anyone to put down me and Laura simply because we don't make as much money as they do are hollow inside. Money isn't what makes our relationship so great. I would never in a million years say, "I make this much more money then you would in 2-3 years". How selfish is that? No, we may not make as much money as some people, but everyday we go to work, we personally change people's lives. How many people can say that?

Money can either be the greatest thing, or it can be your biggest downfall. You make the choice as to how you deal with it. For example: My Father has chosen money over a relationship with me. Everyday that he allows money to interfer with his relationship with his daughter, he is missing out.

I feel sorry for those people that have money as their main focus. Money can not love you back. The sooner some people realize this, the better they will be.

How far would you go for love?

Interesting story occuring right here in Kansas City right now. About two weeks ago a convicted murderer escaped from prison. The prison quickly realized he had a little help with his escape. Apparently, he was part of a program in prison that trains stray and homeless dogs so they could be adopted. Apparently, the person that helped him escape was the director of this program. The two of them were on the run for two weeks until last night when they were caught in Tennessee. Here's my question: why in the hell would you run off with a convicted murderer and help him escape from prison??? Don't you realize they will come looking for you. I thought for sure they would have gone to Mexico or Canada. Why would they go to Tennessee?? I just don't get it. Made me think a little about love. How far would I go for the one I love.

I do love Laura immensely. There are a lot of things I would (and have done) for love. But I don't know if busting someone out of prison is one of them. Here are some of the crazy things I have done for love:

1) Put my career on hold so the other person could complete theirs. Turns out this person decided they wanted to be a career student and after about 2 years I said fuck it and ended up finishing before they did.

2) I once dated a married man and I put myself a side and our relationship was on his terms. That is whenever he could get away from his wife and child. (Note: I am not proud of this one at all)

3) I continously stood up for my ex-husband when everyone around me was telling me, "he has problems". I put my repuation on the line for his.

4) I have changed the way I dress, etc for someone because that is what they wanted. My views on how I wanted to dress and look didn't matter to them.

We've all done things for love that we may or may not be proud of. The one thing (of the many) things I love about Laura is that she loves me for me as the person. She allows me to be me without trying to make me into who she wants me to be. It is total acceptance. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My Wish....

Here is my wish for those who have caused any "discomfort" in my life.

A little "gnat" in my life

Last summer I made a very stupid decision. I happen to come across a blog from an old friend from summer camp. The two of us start corresponding and seeing what things had changed since we had talked twenty years ago. At first it was nice reconnecting with someone from camp since the memories I have from camp are so wonderful. This person and I had a camp "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship. When translated this means you are able to tell the other people at camp that you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. That is about all there is. Maybe an occasional letter during the winter. The reason I contacted this person was because I was curious how their life had turned out. I wasn't wanting a new relationship with them. Just kind of "how the hell are you" kind of thing.

At first things were fine. Then all of sudden this person turned kind of psycho on me. Started putting pots on their blog about how they feel gays are "abnormal" and that it's some kind of physical problem. And that we have the choice to marry if we want, but we are choosing to have a same-sex relationship. WTF????? I had read this person entire blog and there was never a mention of gays rights or anything. It wasn't until after we started talking and they knew I was reading their blog. It was as if they were doing all of this on purpose just to stir shit up. I should have just walked away.

I had gotten to the point where I would not comment on this persons blog. Just read it. Again, I was curious. I think I was curious as to how someone like this could actually be married. Who the hell would put up with that?? Anyway.

This person continues to post on my blog despite telling me two months ago to "get lost". I don't get it. I guess this person is a complete drama queen. Oh, forgot to mention. I hadn't heard anything from this person and then suddenly I get an email saying, "I need your help..someone called the state on us because they think we aren't good parents and someone said we are putting our kids in danger". This person knows I am a social worker and suddenly needed my help. I emailed my opinion and then that was it. But this person continued to bug me. He's like a nasty gnat that will not leave you alone.

Here is a note to that person: I have deleted your blog off my favorites and I suggest you do the same with mine. I think it's time you go bug someone else.

*Post updated with the correct spelling of gnat. I never said I was a master at spelling. That's Laura's job. Thanks for letting me know though.

I Have A Secret

As promised here are some of my secrets.

1) I was adopted when I was 3 days old. When I would talk about my family I wouldn't always say I was adopted. Part shame, part wanting to feel that I knew the two people that created me.
2) About three years ago I went into a convience store and bought something. I had to go back and get a different item becuase the one I picked out had gone bad. As I picked the item out of the cooler, I took an extra one. Every time I drive past that convience store I feel guilty.

3) I am the kind of person that most people will say, "take a picture it will last longer." For some reason I am very curious about other people. I guess you could call me a people person. I try not to stare, but sometimes what is going on is just too damn interesting.

4) When I was in summer camp I made up a whole family. I told people at camp that I had 3 brothers, when in fact, I only have one dumb ass brother who is completly worthless to the world. I always wanted a big family with lots of brothers and sisters, and summer camp was the perfect place to do that. No one lived near me and they would never know.

5) When I was in 6th grade I "prank" called my English teacher so much that she ended up calling the police. They figured out it was me and the principal called me in the office and called my parents. BTW, my principal was a complete ass about it. He called me in the office and threatned to have me sent to jail. I was terrified. When I got home my Mother was waiting for me and she was royally pissed. Now that my partner is a teacher, I understand why the principal and my Mother was so mad. But still, the principal didn't have to be so mean to me. I really thought I was going to jail.

6) I am double jointed in my fingers and arms. The way I can twist and turn my arms is sometimes gross to look at. When I was in school the kids would always want me to twist my arms and fingers because they thought it was "cool".

7) When I was in college I decided I didn't want to go to a weekend class. Instead of dropping the class before the weekend I waited until the following Monday. They told me I couldn't drop the class because it had already passed. I quickly made up a story that my great aunt had passed away. They told me I would have to have proof. I looked in the obits and found an old lady that had passed away on the day the class was to start. I memorized the obit and took it to them. They refunded my money.

8) The house that Laura and I live in was my Grandmothers. (Mom's Mom) When she passed away my ex-husband and I bought the house. There are times when I will walk in the house and smell her perfume.

9) As much as I want a child, I am terrified of having a one. I am afraid that I will not be a good Mother.

10) I love my nephews so much that I am willing to not talk to them until they are older just so they don't feel caught in the middle.

Guilty Pleasures

We all have them. Are you willing to share what your are? Here are some of my guilty pleasures:

1) I love music that most people would consider "elevator music". I love Abba, Barry Manilow and most Pop bands. A lot of the songs that I consider to be my favorite are considered "sappy love songs".

2) I love reality tv. I started watching The Real World when it first came out and could sit and watch it all day long. You know..The Real World was one of the first reality shows. I remember "sneaking" and watching The Real World: San Franscico. I remember thinking my Mom would flip out if she knew I was enjoying watching a show that had a homosexual on it. (little did she know that her own daughter would turn out to be one also.) I espeically love the ones that are on VH1. I will say, that even I, the Queen of Reality Shows has her standards and will not lower myself to watch such shows as "Flavor Love" and "Kevin & Britney".

3) I love chocoalte. Sometimes I will stop on my way home and buy a Snickers and eat it once Laura has gone to bed. It's not that she will tell me not to eat it (which somtimes I wish she would), but she would want to share it with me. (I know, I am awful aren't I?)

4) There are times when I am at work and the conversations I am having with whoever is on the phone is so boring that I will sit and play Pogo. The calls from parents that don't know what to do with their 40 year old child who is living in their basement and still using drugs. In the beginning I try to give them some ideas, but they always say, "I already know about enabling, etc". That is when I click on the pogo button and have at it.

5) I always have a bagel in the morning. Infact, when I walk in the girl behind the counter says, "the usual". The bagel I get every morning is called "Spicy Nacho". It is a plain bagel with a piece of cheddar cheese on top with Jalopenoes on it. Yum, Yum. Add a little bit of plain cream cheese...any morning turns into a great day.

That's it for now. For some reason my Guilty Pleasures feel to me like secrets. I think that will be my next post. Some of my secrets. Anyway..feel free to share some of your guilty pleasures. And thanks Isabel for the great idea on Guilty Pleasures.

House Update

On Sunday Laura and I woke up and decided to go look at some houses in the area we were wanting to move to see how they looked in the inside. Remember, we have already been preapproved for a certain amount. So, we decided to start looking. We went to 5 open houses in the area and man were we shocked. We were wanting to move to a new house for 2 reasons. 1) a bigger kitchen with more counter space and 2) a more spacious bathroom and possibily more then just one bathroom. First of all, we realized that the area we want to move we can get a lot for our money. That was very good news. The bad thing: the houses were built in the 1940's and have very little kitchens and even smaller bathrooms. Literally, the kitchens were about the size of a walk-in closet. And the bathrooms: couldn't believe how much people have neglected them. Yes, they updated the rest of the house, but left the old tile in the bathroom. It was awful. We realized yes we could move into a house in that neighborhood, but there would be a lot of work ahead of us.

When we got home we just stood in our kitchen. As we were standing there I realized that our ktichen is very open and a good size. Laura and I did some talking and realized that maybe we need to rethink moving for a little bit longer. We decided to do some more work on our kitchen and make it even more open. We are talking taking out an entire wall so it connects with the living room. And our bathroom. We already knew we had to do some upgrades before we sold it, but now we are going to put our own touches on it and make it how we want it, not just what needs to be done for it to sell.

In order to do all we want to in the house we would need to refinance the house again. I wasn't too sure, but decided what the heck. The worst they will do is tell us no. We decided to fill out online one of those things where you will get three offers back within 24 hours. They were right about that. By this morning we had 3 calls from companies wanting to refinance our house. Not only are we getting a very, very good interest rate, but we are getting the $$ we need to do the kitchen, bathroom, paint the outside of the house and numerous other things we have put on the list. Wow. Some of the things we will have to have done professionally. Because I know I can knock out the wall, I am just not sure if there is a support beam under there. Things like that we are defininity calling a professional. Same with the bathroom.

I think we are going to wait until after our trip to Florida (just 46 days away) to start. Well, we may decide on the bathroom and have them do the work while we are gone. With only one bathroom, it would be best to have it done while we are not needing to use it. I am sure there are going to be times when I am going to be real bitchy. I love doing home improvements, but sometimes I loose my focus in the middle of it. (Just ask Laura about last summer doing the kitchen...there were some ugly times)

All in all this is very exciting. The best part about refinancing....no house payment for the month of March. Just means extra $$ for Florida.

Sunday NIght Activites

Here is another picture of Ben in one of his infamous positions. You can tell Ben has been babied" most of his life. He is the only cat that I know that will allow me to twist and turn him in any way without getting upset. I guess I should start taking pictures of the other pets as well, otherwise they are going to think Sophie-Dog and Ben are my favorite.

This evening around 8pm Laura and I realized that we hadn't gotten a paper from today. We love the Sunday paper because of the coupons, etc. So, I run up to the local convienence store. As I am walking in this person walks past me and I think to myself.."that really looks like my brother." I get another good look and realize it is my brother. I say, "Hey" to him. He turns around and sees me and says, "hey" and keeps walking. I have never been close with my brother and never will. I don't respect him in any way. What I found interesting about running into my brother not 2 minutes from my house at 8pm on a Sunday night is the fact that he is living close to me now. Last time my brother and I talked (12 months ago) he was living about 3 hours from here. I will have to do some more investigating and see excatly where he is living. (I am good about finding out stuff like that) I just need to be prepared in case I run into his crazy wife. And believe me she is crazy. She could easily be diagnosed with 3 different things in the DSM-IV. (Pysch diagnostic book) The other interesting thing about running into my brother was seeing what he is driving. Keep in mind my brother has 4 children he is not able to support because he never even finished high school. He was driving a brand new SUV. Looks like Daddy's money is working out pretty good for him.

Here fishy fishy...

Our cat Ben has discovered that there are more fish in the tank now. He sits on the edge of the couch all night just looking at the fish. I know he's planning something.

Here's Ben just laying around. It looks like he has broken his back or something. Actually what's going on here...we realized we were missing a fish. He does seem awfully "full" doesn't he??

Rearrangement of the Bedroom

About two weeks ago we decided we needed a change in the bedroom. Not that kind of change, but in the way the furniture was laid out. I wanted to take a before picture, but Laura said, "the beds not made and the room is a mess." So, sorry, there are no before pictures. It was arranged completly different, plus we took out one big dresser and took the headboard off our bed. In the first picture...just imagine the bed at an agnel in the corner facing the door. So, here are the after pictures of our hard work today.

See the dragonfly on the wall. This little guy we found last fall for $1 at Big Lots. I think it was on clearance from the summer stuff. It looks great on the wall.
We finally have a nightstand. We never had one before because of our headboard was kind of like the nightstand.
We are using the two pictures on the wall(that Laura took) as our headboard.
I am so excited to lay in bed tonight. Oh, Sophie-Dog's bed in to the left of the bed between the bed and the wall. We laid down for a bit this afternoon and she laid right on her bed. We bought her a new bed for x-mas and she really wasn't sleeping on it that much. I think she likes it all tucked in the corner and it's right next to my side of the bed. Before it was on the other side of the room.

Mystery Solved...And Now We Are Pissed!!!

Last night we got our cellphone bill via email. We had been anxiously awaiting this bill because it would show what numbers were called on Laura's cellphone which was stolen a month ago while she was school. There was one number that was called several times right after school got out. I did a reverse lookup on the number, but Laura did not recognize the name the phone was under. So she decided to call the number. Here is how the conversation went:
"Hi my name is Laura ...... I was wondering if you had a student at ...............Middle School?"
"Yes, my brother................"
"I am needing to get in touch with .........'s parents..are they there?"
"No, they aren't home."
"This is a rather urgent. Do you knwo when they will be home or if there is a number I can reach them at?"
"Sure. Our Mom can be reached at ............."

Laura then calls this student's Mother. Here is how the conversation went:
'Hi, May I speak with ................"
"This is she"
"Hi, My name is Laura....... and I am...........'s 7th grade English teacher. This is kind of a sticky situation. About a month ago my cellphone was stolen at school and I had to wait until the new bill came to get the numbers that were called. Your home number is the one number that was called several times after it was stolen"
"My son did not steal anything. I have no idea what you are talking about."
"I am not saying your son stole the phone, I am just saying that your home number is the one number that is coming up on the bill."
"I can't believe you would call me at work. Do you know what I do? I can not be bothered with this right now." (BTW..this students Mother works at McDonalds)
"I was just calling as a courtsey to let you know that the school is requiring me to file a police report about the phone being stolen and your number is the only calls that were placed after the phone was stolen."
"We will have to discuss this tomorrow. I can not be bothered at work"

The Mother of this student then hung up. Here is my view on this situation. First of all, this Mother was acting like she was the fucking mayor and could not be disturbed. She works at fucking McDonalds. Someone else can take those fries out of the fryer. Second..if my parents ever received a phone call from my teacher saynig their phone had been stolen and our home number was the ONE number that showed up..my parents would fucking kill me. They would leave work and kick my ass in front of the entire school. They would have never doubted anything my teachers were saying.

When Laura got to school today she did not receive any support from some of the teachers on her team. She is required to make a police report in order for us to reinbursed for the phone. I think if the Mother of this child had more willing to work with us maybe we would not go to the police. But after talking with the Mother, we are making a police report. The school is not doing anything to the student because they have no "proof" that he actually stole it. Well, here's the thing..if he didn't steal it, he knows who did because whoever stole it was trying to call him at his house. When this little bastard is hauled off to juvie maybe his Mother will be willing to talk then. Too late. We are teaching kids a very harmful lesson. These kids are being taught that there are no consequences to their actions and behaviors. They are learning that they can do whatever the fuck they want and it just doesn't matter. We are going to end up with a whole generation that just doesn't care. Well, I think we are halfway there. Soon these kids will be running our country. Do we want these little fuckups to be running our country? I sure don't.

Every single day I have people in their 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's walking through my door that never learned the lesson of consequences. I bet all these individuals learned this when they were 12 or 13.

We are doing a HUGE injustice to kids today. They need to realize that when you do something there are consequences. Not punishing this student of Laura's is teaching him that he can do whatever the fuck he wants..and it just doesn't matter. We'll see what the police think about that.

Hiding *Their* Secrets

I read several blogs each day. I have a whole list of blogs that I look through and read each morning. It's kind of like my morning coffee. I love reading the blogs and seeing what everyone is up to. Reading these blogs had made me do some thinking. Here are some random thoughts of the blogs that read daily.

First of all why do people make such a big deal out of gay people. I am still trying to figure out why there are some people out there that have dedicated their life to making sure our lives are less pleasant. Why do some people care what goes on behind closed doors, between two consenting adults and in the privacy of our own home? For example..in the state right next to me there lives a man that has decicated his life to emotionally torturing gays and anyone that goes against "bible" thinking. He protests gay funerals, funerals for soliders, etc. And the signs he holds up are filled with 100% hate. They say things like, "God Hates America", "God Hates Fags", "HIV is God's cure for Homosexuality". The guy is fucking nuts. I can't help but wonder what the fuck has happened in his life that makes him so unhappy. He is preaching and teaching hate. I am sure God is just loving that. I have found that the people that protest the most about things usually have a dirty little secret they are hiding about that thing they are protesting. For example. Think of the Congressman that are Rebublician are so outwardly against homosexuals, but behind closed doors he is being fucked by another man. Huh? How does that makes sense. Can we all say contradiction? These are also the individuals that are sitting in the back of the theatre watching Brokeback Mountain and secretly getting turned on watching two men "do it", but in their public life dispise gays. When individuals come out so against something I always wonder what they are hiding. Another example: Jehovah's Witnesses say they are completly against "material" things. You will find that most witnesses are the most materialistic people you will ever meet.

I have learned over the past two years that there are some people that just love being hateful and mean. My tolerance level has been greatly increased and I am learning to sit back and laugh my ass off as these people make absolute fools of themselves. Actually I find it kind of entertaining. I have said several times that this is the wonderful thing about living in America. People can be different from you and that's ok. Just because someone is different from you does not mean they should be treated any differently. I love reading other people's views on things, but when they start shoving Bible verses down my throat or throwing insults in there just because..then I am done. I guess that is one thing I will not tolerate.

So, my end point. For all your protesters and people that make public declaration of how you dislike something...I know your dirty little secret.

New Members of Our Home

What a wonderful day Laura and I had yesterday. I couldn't have asked for a better day. When I got off work around 4:30 and when I got home Laura had the grill all fired up with two beautiful steaks going. We had agreed this year that since we are planning our Florida trip (just 52 days away..YEA) we would only get each other a card, plus buy some fish for our aquarium. Well, when I got home shd had flowers and chocolates for me. I loved it. We ate dinner and then headed out to pick out our new fish. We ended up coming home with 8 new fish. Our tank already had 2 neons, so we picked up 2 more, we got 2 crabs, 2 balloon mollies, and then 2 Gourami's. Here is what we named the fish...

The 4 Neons--The Golden Girls (these four fish immediately got into a "school" and haven't been apart since)
The 2 Balloon Mollies--We named them Hustle and Flow. One is orange and one is black. Just seemed to fit
The 2 Gourami's--We named them Sonny and Cher. They often seperate, but remain quite close
The 2 crabs--We named the male Kong because he was climbing to the very top of our plants and just sitting at the top. We couldn't remember the name of female in King Kong. If anyone knows..let me know.

We do have some sad news though. Apparently Kong out did himself last night and gave himself a heart attack. We found him dead at the bottom this morning. The female on the other hand is doing great and has taken over his job of sitting at the top of the plants and rocks.

After we got the fish we settled in to watch a movie. And then it was to bed by 10pm. All in all it was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had. Laura took a "mental Health" day today and surprised me at work around lunch time. We drove around near where I work and found some houses we really like. We have found the type of house we want to buy. Now it's just time to get our house ready to be sold. We did so much last summer, but we still have a lot to do.

One thing that woudl solve all our house issues....if we win the powerball tonight. I guess it's $300 million. ($145 after taxes) I can tell you now...my work would never hear from me again. I would send them a postcard and let them know. And I hate the people that say winning the lottery wouldn't change them. If we won...it would change me. Another thing...I wonder how long it would take my parents to get a hold of me and say something like this.."you know us not talking to you was all just a big misunderstanding." I would laugh my ass off.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!! We are having wonderful weather here in Kansas City. It's going to be so nice that instead of going out and waiting hours to be seated at a crappy restuarant, we are going to grill out tonight. We need to enjoy the weather because in just a few days we are suppose to be back to winter.

As a JW, we did not celebrate Valentine's Day. My ex husband and I did always get each other a card and did small things. We always felt like we had to secretly do these things because if we were caught, they would hang us. So, it's a nice change to be able to celebrate Valentine's Day out in the open.

Have I mentioned how much I love my Laura. What a wonderful woman I have. She makes my life worth living and keeps me laughing along the way. I am not sure what I have done to deserve her. After my ex and I broke up and I was alone for four years. I had flings here and there, but mostly alone. As I would sit at home at night all alone I would imagine what I wanted my life to be like. How lucky am I that this is exactly what I imagined my life would be like. I am completly content with my life. I wouldn't change anything.

Weekend

Our relaxing weekend turned into a kind of on the go weekend. Friday night we started watching the Olympics, but then started watching a movie we rented. We watched "In Her Shoes". It was very cute. It was odd watching Cameron Diaz in a semi-serious role. That night Laura's older sister called and we ended up making plans to go with her and her husband to the dog races on Saturday night. I had never been to the dog races and found it very exciting. What I liked about it was you kind of have control over how much you are going to loose. I loved watching the dogs race. There were a total of 14 races. It was nice because you were still able to sit and talk with the people you went with. The races lasted until 11pm. We then went over to Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise". So, by the time we got home it was close to 1am. We vowed that we would not get out of bed until at least noon. At 7:30am Laura was getting up and I shortly followed her. By 8:30am we were at the grocery store doing our weekly grocery shopping. When we got home at 10am we were exhausted. The rest of Sunday we just laid around the house. We watched another movied on Sunday..."Elizabethtown". That movie was so good. I loved it. I am a huge music person and the music was great throughout the entire movie.

On Friday night it started to snow and when we woke up on Saturday it was still snowing. I would say we only got a total of maybe 1/2 inch. Nothing like the east coast, but the way people were driving Saturday morning you would think we were in the middle of a blizzard. When we got up on Saturday I called the vet to see if they could get Sophie-dog in for a bath. Because it has been warm this winter, Sophie is shedding like you would not believe. She is leaving huge clumps of hair the size of a small cat all over our house. I brush her everyday, but she is still shedding. So, I called the vet to see if they could get her in. They said yes. When I went out to warm up the Honda it was a light fluffy snow. We get on the highway and are suddenly stuck in the middle of a huge traffic clusterfuck. Apparently there was a 25 car pile up. Once we got off the highway we realized the side roads were like a sheet of ice. We finally dropped the dog off and tried to figure out a way to get home without getting back on the highway. It was a mess.

Can't believe tomorrow is Valentine's Day. We decided that this year our gift for each other would be fish for our new aquariam. We have had to wait to let the water "cycle". I've been testing it every other day and the levels are back to normal. So, tomorrow night we are going to go pick out some fish. We have found this fish store about 15 minutes from us that we really like. When we first went in we were ready to buy a bunch of fish. The guy at the store talked us out of it and explained the whole thing about water needing to "cycle". We knew we were at a good store when he didn't try to sell us a bunch of fish that probably would have died because of the whole "cycle" thing.

This coming weekend both Laura and I have a 3-day weekend. YEA!!! I am sure we will plan a nice relaxing weekend and end up re-decorating our entire house.

Torino 2006

Today is the start of the Winter Olympics. I am so excited. We plan on having a night filled with lots of good food and watch the opening ceremonies. This is the first year that I really remember being into the Olympics. I was into them in 1994 when there was the whole Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding scandel going on. Speaking of...did anyone see Tanya Harding on ET? She looks horrible. She looks like she has gained about 50 pounds. She said she has only gained 15 pounds, but that was only in her face I think. That's like me keeping my drivers licenese weight at 140. Like anyone would believe that.


Well, hope everyone enjoys watching them, if you are going to watch them. I love to see the cool things they do for the opening ceremonies. Laura and I have said that once in our lifetime we would love to go to either the winter or summer Olympics.

We don't plan on doing much this weekend. Laura was able to come home early today from school and when she got home she called me and said, "you don't mind if we don't get out of pj's this weekend do you?" Those are the best weekends. Plus, it's turning super cold. I think the high tomorrow is 30 with a chance for snow. Perfect weather to stay warm and cozy inside.

New Blog Title

As many of you may have noticed I have changed the Title of this Blog to "After the Fact". I decided to do this because I am now talking mostly about things that are going on after being kicked out of the church, disowned by my family and learning to live life for myself for the first time ever. So, that is why I changed the name. When I first created this blog it was mainly a place to talk about my experiences as a Jehovah's Witness. I am now finding that I have so much more to share then just my time as a JW. The internet address will remain the same.

I got an email from my Mother this morning. She emailed me to let me know that my aunt did great during the surgery. I was happy that she did let me know how the surgery went. It was nice getting an email from her where we weren't discussing how I have disappointed her.

Laura has parent-teacher conferences tonight, so I am home alone until 8pm. Poor Laura though..it sure makes for a long day. She left at 6:30 this morning and won't get home until 8pm. Wow..she is going to be tired when she gets home. But I talked with her today and she sounds like she is doing good and holding up good. Plus, she has no students tomorrow...it's always easier when the teachers have a work day with no students.

God Made Me Gay

Thanks to Tropopause I found a really neat website about how God made those who are gay, gay. Click here and you will be directed to that wonderful site.

Moving, Hairstyles & Surgery

As many of you will remember less then a week ago I was talking about how we were needing to move because our neighborhood appears to be going downhill faster then we can run. After much thought and consideration we HAVE decided to move. Well, it's not going to happen right away, but within a year we plan on being gone. We found out how much we will qualify for together (and we were pleasantly surprised). Finding out how much we qualify for really lets us know what we have to work with. Tonight we are going to sit down and write down what we need to do to our house to update it just enough to bring in the most money. I think we decided to just do enough upgrades without spending too much money so it looks updated. A huge thing we did last summer was remodeling the kitchen. It used to have this dark brown and light brown carpet. (yes carpet in the kitchen) We put in hardwood floors, painted the cabinets and really made it look new and updated, not from the 70's. Our next big project is the bathrooom. About 6 years ago I started tearing down the wallpaper and that's about as far as I have gotten. It just seemed overwhelming to me to redo the bathroom. We are going to replace the toilet, tub and paint the cabinets white. I can't wait to get started. (please remind me of this sentence when I start complaining of all the work we are doing)

With the help of Laura's sister (the one that just got married), I am thinking of changing my hairstyle. This is a huge deal. I have had the same hairstyle for 15 years. Beth said it was time fora change and since she works at a very well national salon, I guess I can trust her. She said something about trying bangs on me. I just don't know about that. Change is a scary thing for me. If anyone has any ideas about hairstyles, just let me know.

I can't remember if I update anyone on what I decided to do for my Aunt that has cancer. I sat down last week and wrote her a letter and told her that I was sorry she was going through this again and that she would be in my thoughts and prayers. I also said that regardless of what has happened over the past year or so, I still loved her because she was my aunt. I also asked that I be updated on her surgery and recovery. I guess her surgery is today. I have not heard anything. Please say a prayer for her. Deep down, and aside from the whole JW thing, she is my aunt and I would never wish anything but the best for her.

God Always Provides

I noticed something last night after a very long and stressful/emotional day: GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES. It is amazing the little things that are provided for us when we didn't realize we needed them. Coming to this thought has been a long 6 year process. Let me give you some history on why it has taken me 6 years to realize this.

In June 2000 I was disfellowshipped the first time for smoking. My Ex had just moved out and I was stressed due to being left with all the bills. I picked up the habit of smoking. I agree it's not the best habit to have, but it was how I dealt with the stress. I was told to quit smoking or I would be disfellowshipped. I was too stressed to stop, so they kicked me out. At the meeting where the elders told me I was disfellowshipped I asked them two important questions. 1) Will God still love me? 2) Will God still hear my prayers? Their response to both those questions was a clear "NO". Now keep in mind this is the religion and lifestyle tha I had known my entire 27 years. I believed every word they said. I walked out of that meeting thinking that God did not love me and even if I prayed to Him, He would not hear my prayers. I was so angry, but what could I do? The elders said He would not hear my prayers and He would no longer love me. Thinking back on those elders and what they said to me I still get very angry. They had no right to tell me what they thought God would do or think.

About 6 months after I was disfellowshipped the first time I was really depressed. Keep in mind, just like this time, my family had cut of all contact with me. So, I was feeling pretty alone. I was ready to kill myself. I sat in my living room, all by myself. I was crying and I said, "God please have someone call me and check on me." I then got in my car and drove around for a couple of hours. When I got home there were 3 messages on my machine. They were all people calling to check on me and just see how I was doing. It was the first time in my life that I remember asking God for something and having Him respond almost immediately. It was as if I felt God's touch and love. It was powerful.

But I still struggled with my relationship with God. Still at the back of my mind I was thinking that what the elders said was true. You are taught to respect and believe anything the elders tell you. You are taught that they are "God's messengers on earth". I felt I was not worthy of any love or concern from anyone. It really messed me up for a while.

So fast foward to June 2005. I had been out of the church again for a year. Laura and I had been together a little over a year. We were involved in a pretty bad car accident. We were driving 70 mph on the highway and a semi-truck came up besides us and moved into our lane hitting our car. It sent us spinning into traffic on a Friday afternoon at 6pm. We didn't hit any other cars and we have very minor injuries. Just some bumps and scratches, but we were still walking and we were still alive. The paramedic said that last time he saw an accident like this there were 3 people involved and two died on the scene. Laura and I were surrounded by God's angels during that car wreck. It was as if they cushioned us we were spinning so we would not hit any other cars and then slowly brought our car to a stop.

A few weeks before I was disfellowshipped for the second time (July 2004) my Mom sent me an email with some scriptures saying "God does not have to listen to my prayers". Pretty much the same thing the elders said four years earlier. You know what...God is the only reason Laura and I walked away from that wreck. It was as if I hadn't listened well enough the first time God tried to prove He did love me and listen to my prayers, so it made sure I heard Him this time. I did hear Him...loud and clear.

So, last night Laura and I were sitting around and it all of a sudden hit me how God always provides for us when we need it. He is truly amazing. I know most of my family thinks that I am living a sad, faithless life. I am closer now to God then I have ever been. I talk to him a daily basis. And for the first time in my life...I know he is listening to me because I can feel it at my core.

Weekend in Review

Whew!!! What a weekend. Yesterday was the wedding reception for Laura's younger sister Beth and her new husband Justin. A week ago they went to Jamicia for a week and got married on the island. So, yesterday was the reception. This reception has been what we have talked about for two months now. The planning...what kind of flowers should we have, what kind of decorations, and what kind of food to have there. It seems it has consumed our every move these past few months. A week ago at this time we were wondering what we had gotten ourselves into. But now that it's all over with, we are so glad we were able to help with the planning of this wonderful party for a wonderful couple. Here are some pictures of the evening.

This is Laura and me. Can you tell we are soooo tired. I think this picture was taken around 10:00pm. We had been up since 7am getting everything set up. It's a wonderful picture of Laura, but not so good of me.
Here's the happy couple..Beth and Justin. From their tans you can tell they just got back from Jamicia. They are a great couple and it was fun throwing a party for them.
One last picture of my baby. Again...damn I am lucky.

All in all it was a great weekend. We got up around 7am yesterday to decorate and get the hall all together. By the time we cleaned the hall up and headed back to Laura's parents house, where we stayed the night, it was close to 1:30am. We ended up stayinng up til 2am talking with her parents. While we were having the reception we took Sophie-Dog to Pete & Max's which is a very nice kennel for your dogs. The dogs do not have kennels, but suites. Plus they have doggy daycare. Sophie has stayed there one other time and seems to love it. When you pick up your dog they give you a "report card" as to how your dog did during their visit. Just like last time, Sophie was not too sociable during daycare and everyone at Pete & Max's agrees with me...She is a complete sweetheart.

Now I am off to get some much needed rest and to finally be able to talk to Laura about something other then the reception...like our trip to Florida in 2 months!!!! YEA

You Know Your Neighborhood is Bad When.....

1) You call 911 because there is a 6 year old little boy walking down the street in the midle of winter with no coat on and it takes 3 calls and 45 mintues for the police to show up even after you tell them the boy appears to be autistic.

2) You wake up in the morning and someone has stolen your security system sign that was in the front yard.

3) Every night on the 10:00 news they are coming live from your neighborhood because of a robbery, shooting, or someone running a stolen car ring.

4) Someone steals your recycle bin

5) People put out couches, broken tables or fridges 6 weeks before the "big item" pick up.

6) You can tell it's trash day because there is trash all up and down the street from stray dogs and cats getting in them from the night before

7) You have to write your name on any decorations that go outside because you are sure someone will steal them.

8) People wait until July to mow their yard for the first time. And then they only mow it one more time before winter

9) When you get paid the first and foremost thing you pay is not your mortgage or your utilities, but it's the security system

10) You hear what appears to be fireworks, then realize it's February. This does not alarm you, you simply continue doing what you were doing.

All of these are true and have happended in the past six months at our house. It's sad cause our neighborhood used to be so nice. It's just been the past year or so that it has gone way downhill. Time to start those overdue house repairs and get the hell out. Anyone know any good realtors in the Kansas City area???

Emotional Rollercoaster

Today has not been the best of days. I woke up as you would say "on the wrong side of the bed". Just kind of cranky and not real pleasant. I am not usually real pleasant to begin with in the mornings, but this morning I was unusually cranky. With having just one cellphone I make sure that Laura takes mine in the morning. I just feel better knowing that she has a phone with her when she is driving into the inner city at 6 in the morning. Well, I had forgotten to put the phone on the charger last night and could not find it this morning. I asked Laura to call the phone so I could find it. (we have two phones, but one is broken because with all the static in the house we went to pick it up and got shocked and the phone hasn't worked since then) And the phone that works was upstairs with her. So.... she calls and there is nothing. She hangs up and says, "does your number start with 560? I said, no, that is Lyn's cell phone. (our neighbor) Well, she calls the phone and I find it. I am now thinking..Lyn is probably going to call back wondering why we called her. (she is currently in Florida, so it was an hour ahead..she would have been up when we called) Well, after Laura left, I went back to bed and 10 minutes before the alarm was suppose to go off the phone rings. It's Lyn. I explain to her the situation and we get off the phone. I only had 7 more minutes of sleep. Damn..I wish it was Saturday morning then I could sleep in longer.

So, I get to work and my mood continues to go down hill. I am just feeling depressed. A lot has happended the last few days. First of all, while we were at Walmart I ran into someone that knows both me and my family. They inform me that my Mom's sister has cancer, again. She had cancer two years ago and had to go to the Cancer Hospital in Houston due to her not being able to have blood. (another JW thing) Two years ago they did surgery to remove the tumor and then she had chemo. She was doing real good, but apparently it has come back. So, this was a total shock to me. As much as I am upset at the JW religion, this is still my aunt that I love. So, that has been very upsetting to me. This person told me that my aunt is having surgery next week here in Kansas City. I thanked the person for telling me and then went on my way. But I am very upset. I am upset that no one is my family has told me. They don't have to talk to me, they could send me an email, or call the house during the day and leave a message. But I don't know why I was expecting them to call. My own Father had major surgery last summer and no one bothered to tell me. I didn't find out about my Father until a week or so after his surgery.

I sat most of today in my office with the door shut. We have a really small office (only 12 employees) so usually when someone has their door closed it means they are either in a meeting or something is going on. I didn't want anyone to see that I was upset. It's hard enough explaining why my family doesn't want to talk to me. About 2:30 Laura called me and asked if everything was alright. I start crying. And it's not just one of those cries where a few tears come down. I told Laura I didn't want to talk about it because it would get me all upset. Whatever..I was already upset..I am not sure why I told her that. I guess I didn't want getting more upset. She was so kind in giving me the space that I needed.

When I got home we sat and had a good talk. Have I mentioned today how wonderful she is. We were going to have a very sensible dinner tonight (salad and soup), but I told her I was feeling like Chinese. She was so sweet because I know Chinese is not her favorite. As I went and picked it up I really thanked God that she is in my life. On my way home I called her and thanked her for letting us have Chinese. I told her, "I know this isn't right, but I know it will make me feel better tonight. I know I shouldn't have such an emotional relationship with food, but I need this tonight." Her response was, "baby, just come on home".

We spent the evening just talking and I absorbed every bit of love from her. She gave me some suggestions on how to get through this thing with my aunt. (will tell you about it, but not right now.)

I am sorry if some of you out there reading this think I am "flaunting" my relationship with Laura. Tonight she was wonderful and supporitve and loving. If you think that is "flaunting" then you have never been in love.