Update

The deal with the people that were buying the house has officially ended. They called me this morning and told me they would not be moving in.

I am in shock.

My boss, as she always is, was wonderful and supportive and allowed me to leave early to deal with all of it. There are about a million things I needed to do. I had to call all the utility companies to cancel the transfer of service, I had to call the moving company to cancel the move and I had to call the apartment complex to cancel my move in.

I am thankful that this happened before I signed the lease. And I am thankful that I am getting my $250 pet deposit back since I did not move in.

I am trying hard to see the good in all of this. But when you are handling all this on your own, sometimes seeing the good is really hard.

I am still taking Friday and Monday off because I need a break. STL is coming into town still and just maybe we will get out of town for a few days and go camping. That would bring such comfort to my soul.

I sometimes wonder how I ended up where I am right now. How did my life, which appeared to me and others to be really good, end up where I am alone, struggling financially and depressed.

I keep hearing that everything happens for a reason. I understand that, but when you are down a hole trying to pull yourself up sometimes it's hard to see the reason behind all of this.

I have 31 days until my insurance at work kicks in. I am counting the days until I can go in and talk to someone about all of this. How I have handled all of this on my own is beyond my own understanding. But somehow I have and somehow I will make it through this.