Movies & My Life

I used to think that music played a huge role in my life. Believe me, music does play a huge role in my life. I can be driving down the street and hear a song and instantly think back to a time when that song played some role in my life.

Last night I realized that movies also play a huge role in my life. It seems that when I am going through something life changing a movie will come along that guides me through whatever change I am going through. It's as if my guardian angel sends that movie to me right when I need it.

Here are a few examples of movies that have played a role in my ever changing life.

The Prince of Tides: The first time I saw this movie was my senior year in high school. My English teacher had recommended the book for me since I was a Pat Conroy fan. I swear I saw that movie 15 times in the movie theatre. Anytime any of my friends wanted to go to the movies I always suggested The Prince of Tides. It got to the point where in order for my friends to go with me I had to pay their way into the movie. My senior year in high school was pivotal in my life. It was then that I wanted to go into a profession where I could use what I had learned going through some tragedies and help others. I wanted to be just like Babra S. and be a therapist; legs and all. I am still working on those legs.

If These Walls Could Talk 2: In 2000 I really started exploring my sexuality. I had been raised that a man and a woman marry; end of story. Well, I was having feelings for women at this time and was finally embracing those feelings. It was the summer of 2000 that I saw If these Walls Could Talk 2 for the first time. Watching this movie I realized that being with a woman was what I wanted for my life. The softness of a woman was what I longed for. Each time I watched this movie I dreamed of what my life would be like once I found the woman for me. Three years ago my dream finally came true when Laura came into my life. Now I am realizing that my dream is still alive and I will find her one day.

I Am Sam: 2002 was a rough year for me. I had just gone back into the church after being kicked out two years before. I only went back because I was so lonely and I had not built up my support system. I graduated with my Masters and started a job that I hated. In the summer of 2002 I watched I Am Sam for the first time. A part of that movie affected my core being and I am not sure what part it was. But I do know that I learned from this movie that whatever I want out of life I can do. I just have to dream, wish and believe that it will come true.

Cold Mountain: In February 2005 I got very sick. I mean very sick. One of my clients came into my office and peed in the chair. When I was cleaning it up I came down with something. A week later I had sores in my mouth/throat and was running a 103 fever. In three days Laura had to take me to Urgent Care, the ER and then the Doctor. I was off work for more then a week. While I was off one of the channels was showing Cold Mountain. I watched that movie at least 5 times that week. Looking back on that movie now I see the point I was suppose to learn. 1) A woman is OK by herself 2) Love and life is very fragile Every time I see that movie I think of that week I was so sick.

A few weeks ago my good friend Amy suggested that I watch Elizabethtown. I had seen the movie when it first came out, but noticed it was on Showtime. I watched it again and realized I was suppose to watch that movie at this exact moment. It has taught me about letting go and that sometimes you have to let go of something in order for something greater to come into your life. I have watched that movie at least 6 times in the last couple of weeks and even went out and bought it.

Each day life does get easier. I feel the fog is finally lifting and there are times when I have small glimpses of my life ahead. And can I tell you, my life is looking great.