It's been almost two months since the split and I am slowly trying to figure things out. I am doing pretty good with most things, but I do have a question and maybe you guys can help me.
Where is a girl that is not into the bar scene (although it's fun to go and watch people) and not into head games to find a down to earth girl?
I don't think I want to jump right into a serious relationship, but it's OK to look and see what's out there. And who knows that person may start out as a really good friend and then end up being the one.
I keep telling myself that the minute I stop looking like I did three years ago, that person will magically appear.
Note to self: Work on being patient.
Any ideas or suggestions?
14 comments:
Don't rush it. I know that I don't have any room to talk, but I think that it's important that you re-learn who you are first before learning who someone else is.
Stop looking. It's always when you're not looking that you find love.
I'll echo what Zoe said. Stop looking. It might seem cliche', but in reality whenever you stop looking, you start relaxing and what's more attractive than a relaxed, self-confident person?
become invovled in activites you like--volunteer at the local "no kill" shelter, take the dog to obedience classes, start walking the dog at the local park, find a church to attend, take a class at the local community college-- when you are doing something you like, taking care of your interests and needs, then things will unfold because you meet someone in an unpressured environment doing something you enjoy-- until then, be patient...
Yeah, all they said. But mostly, keep busy and relax. This time is for YOU. Get to know yourself very, very well. Do the things you really want to do and you're likely to find a person who shares your interests. Do ..... not ..... rush ..... things. I know (trust me, I know!!!) how hard it is to be alone, but it will be worse if you rush into something regrettable. It will come it it's time. :)
Sister, I hear ya'. Sometimes, it just takes time.
ditto to whateverybody else said. Use this time to get to know YOU. Everything else will fall into place.
I think you have the right idea Caroline. It's when you aren't looking that it comes and takes you by surprise. I just love surprises, don't you?
Patience Grasshopper!
Really, take this time to be totally selfish with YOU. Find your path, your passion in life, and that certain someone will be drawn to you like a bee to the flower.
I agree with everyone else. If you're not looking, you will find it. Get involved in things you like, go to the park, the library, you never know where you will meet someone! I am sending you positive vibes and praying that you find happiness and love that you so deserve.
My suggestion: Take care of you first and the rest will follow when it's time. You are doing a great job sweetie.
Hmm, well I'll take the road less travelled here and say that when I stopped looking, I found nothing - 'cuz I really wasn't looking. I don't really agree with that theory!
When I started looking, I found people all over the place: at the dog park, online, through friends, at classes, even at the coffee shop.
Thing is, I had been dateless for 10 years, really knew myself, and was 100% ready when I started looking again, and that probably does make a big difference.
Dog park and Match.com get my top votes though.
Okay, you could always get yourself a... ahem... "buddy." I did that on the heels of my divorce because I just needed to feel good... you know, "feel good" as in Halle Berry in Monster's Ball. I went to Planet Out and found a buddy. Of course, this was when I lived in San Diego and there was an abundant supply of potential "buddies." I hooked up with a mechanic, Sue, with very strong hands... She got me through a rough patch.
Book clubs, church (open and affirming obviously), outdoor activity groups, bowling leagues, dinner groups, card game groups. Just enjoy socializing and meeting friends. When the right woman is there, there she'll be.
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