Reward

The last 5 days have been so hard. For some reason I was thinking that it was so much easier when I quit in April, but when I went and read my blog posts from that time I see that it was also hard back then. I talked about being emotional, crying and angry; all of which I have experienced at some time in the last 24 hours. I truly understand what it's like to be bipolar after these last 5 days. One minute I am fine and literally the next minute I am crying. It's all very tiring and exhausting and I am now in bed by 10:30 and asleep shortly there after.

I am really aware of how my quitting smoking has affected my relationship with others. Susan and I experienced some pretty stressful moments in the last few days and I know it is mainly because I quit smoking. I have had a short fuse, been depressed and just not been a lot of fun to be around. I think it's hard for someone who has never smoked to really understand how hard this is, but Susan is doing an excellent job at being understanding and supportive. Her calmness and constant positive attitude has helped me in more ways then she will ever realize.

They say that you need to reward yourself when you quit smoking. Well, tomorrow I am rewarding myself by taking off work a couple hours early and going to spend the evening with my girl. I love this whole reward thing. :)