I used to think that I was a pretty easy going person. Since MG and I have moved in with each other I am realizing that not only am I pretty set in my ways, but I can be very stubborn at times. Sometimes I have a hard time seeing a different point of view and this can be very hard when you are first living with someone else.
It's hard realizing that you still have a lot of work to do, but I am determined to keep working on myself. I keep reminding myself of a quote that Casey put in my comment section a few weeks back: "In the end it will be OK. If it's not OK, it's not the end". I have a horrible habit of thinking that it's the end when I am still working on things. It's as if I get tired and just want to rest. I need to remember that in life you have very few chances to just sit and rest. Life is always moving and if we want to stay on the ride, then we need to keep moving right along with life. But to be honest, sometimes I get very tired. Very tired. And when I get tired I get pretty grumpy and I have a horrible attitude. I just need to keep working on my attitude. Just keep working.
I don't want to give the assumption that things are not going well with MG, because they are going well. I don't regret moving in with her and it has probably been the best decision I have made in the the last six months. It's just been an adjustment for all of us and I am realizing that I have a lot more work to do then what I first thought.
9 comments:
I agree with your final paragraph that things are going well with our relationship. True, it's been an adjustment for all of us. I think, though, that our will to do the "heavy lifting" is going to pay off big-time in the end. I know that I still feel glad that we're together and I look forward to the sweet life as we take this journey together. Je t'aime!
When I first moved in with Dylan, I felt the same things you are. I suddenly felt very overwhelmed. I was used to my home schedule, my alone time, etc. With someone sharing a living space, it was quite the adjustment, and honestly, sometimes I feel like I am still adjusting after our last move in July!
You, "stubborn"??? Noooo. Surely you're not serious about that!!
I know you. You don't like change. Well, you don't like having to change your own patterns. Loosen up and let yourself be more flexible. The changes that you will both have to make are not necessarily going to be easy, but it is part of the process of growth in your life, in the relationship.
May I add to the "Casey thought"? Hon, it is NEVER done. If it is "done," then it is stagnant and will die. When change ceases, interest wanes, boredom sets in. Life (and all its components, i.e., relationships) is a *process*, not a *destination*. It is natural to get where you thought you were going, only to realize that you want to be farther along the path. That is the very essence of life, the magic in the relationship.
So, again, loosen up. Everything will be fine, but don't be too set in your ways to try out something different, or something a different way. "Try it, you'll like it"!! LOL!!
Done. Lecture over. Oops, I said nothing is ever done. OK, stay tuned, and I'll be ready to lecture again later. snicker!!
It is a process when you start a new life with someone. Dakota and I had our rocky times in the beginning (and who am I kidding - sometimes we still do *grin*) but you just have to be committed to the relationship and know that the only way out is through. You have to go through all that stuff to find your new balance and let's face it, letting go of thigns we thought defined us in order to develop a new self-definition is what growing and change is about.
You can do this. It's just a blip on the radar screen. :)
Baby steps, Caroline, baby steps. Y'all will be just fine.
It's amazing how set in our ways we become, isn't it? When my brother stayed with me, I wanted to kill him for no other reason than putting the plates away in the wrong order. Yes, I'm *slightly* OCD, but I have a system dangit! ;)
progress not perfection...
Life is like a rollercoaster, but I get motion sickness and hate roller coasters! When I feel this way, and then worry that life is moving too fast, I just "get off." Rest. Get on a slower ride, so to speak.
Cut yourself some slack, things ARE moving fast in your world right now.
Moving in with someone is always an adjustment.
I just read a pamphlet book recently by my mom's buddy at it rang so true to me. It was about having effective adult relationships and I realize that I respond to things in exactly the wrong ways so often.
Each and every person is a work in progress. No one is perfect. You take everything you can and you allow yourself to grow and learn and be a better person. That's the best you can do. Don't be hard on yourself from not being perfect everyday.
Lois and I still have some adjustment moments and quirks we've both adjusted to, down to which way the toilet paper roll goes on and me making sure I put stuff in the laundry bin that's not inside out (the inside out thing really makes her nuts).
I am one of the MOST stubborn people on the planet and it took some time to get used to sharing a life/space with someone else. We both made some concessions!
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