- Brady is doing good. By 9pm last night he was at least able to walk without falling down. He does not seem like he is in any pain. The incision is looking good and the swelling has gone down. He is looking at me with this "Why?" look. I wish I could explain to him why all this happened. Brady going through the surgery and then having him purr when I held him last night made me love him even more.
- As many of you might have seen by her comment I finally have allowed MG to read my blog. I think it was the right choice.
- Speaking of MG, yesterday was one month since we have been seeing each other and she sent me flowers at work. So sweet. (sorry no pic, but as you know yesterday was a crazy day)
- Today when I got to work my boss told me that one of the techs I fired has filed a claim that I fired her based on her race. Thankfully I documented everything. My boss is not concerned, so I will not be concerned.
- I am going to call our EAP today because the blues have come back and are making themselves at home. It's not as overwhelming as before, but I don't want to get to that point ever again.
- Sometimes I feel like I will never be financially OK again. If it's not one thing it's another. I never can catch a break and I wonder if I will ever be able to catch up.
- I felt like a complete failure yesterday when I had to ask MG to borrow the money for Brady's surgery. It cost $430 and I just didn't have it. I really had one of those moments where I felt like I totally sucked.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Many Thoughts
Boy, it's been a long week. Here are some of the thoughts rolling around in my mind:
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9 comments:
I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself. Of course your mind understands that you are in a hard emotional and financial place and that it will get better, but it's your heart that I worry about.
...and it's your heart that is the most precious to all of us
You don't suck!
Money issues happen. It's a long and winding road that's for sure. At the end of the day I'm glad I have a roof over my head and some vodka in the freezer. The rest is just a bonus.
Don't beat yourself up over the money. It's not like you did something and MG had to bail you out of jail!! You were caring for your "baby." You'll pay her back, I know. Remember that there have been other times when you've thought you'd never be financially stable, and you have been. And will be.
I'm glad you have MG. I can tell from the blog and from talking with you that she is good for you. Give her a hug from me, please.
And tell Brady I said "meow, purr, meow."
I agree with Katie--you don't suck! Your financial issues have been mainly caused by others' bad decisions and poor behavior. And that's all I'm gonna say about that!
Try not to worry about it too much. We will get it fixed up together! It will take time, but it can be done...I'll show you how.
Here's a little bit from an old Steve Winwood song, "The Finer Things."
"The finer things keep shining through/The way my soul gets lost in you/The finer things I feel in me/The golden dance life could be."
I keep this song in mind when I have struggles and it helps me keep a "big picture" view. Don't worry, Caroline...we will have our golden dance!
Love,
MG
Hey. MG sounds great, and you are as well. You WILL get over these money issues. The house WILL sell. And I am pretty sure YOU would loan the money to someone else for animal surgery.
Do give the EAP a call -- it'll be good for you. I know what you mean about calling about stuff like that at work though.
Don't feel bad about the money stuff. When Chris and I first got married, he had lots of debt from school on credit cards and it was so disheartening every month when I did our bills. It took a lot of hard work to dig out, and a lot of time. We got out eventually though, and you seem to be on the right path, too.
Honey, you've been through alot of 'stuff' in the last several months. I totally *get* why you've got the blues hangin' around. As for borrowing money and feeling like a failure...I get that too however you are not a failure and I hope you get to the place where you know that deep within soon. Peace.
You do what you have to do. You do NOT totally suck.
I hope you chase those blues away and get to feeling better. Quickly.
You don't suck. Money issues suck. And it always does seem like a long road, but you are making decisions to help yourself (Laura didn't make things easy) and this will all turn for the better in time.
Do talk to the EAP. And don't forget that we are hear for the happy and the blue!
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