Meet My Neighbors

Last night while MG and I were checking out her new computer I took her to a couple of my favorite blogs. Of course one of them was Lynilu's. I went back to show her the post that Lynilu did the day before she moved where Sophie was blowing her a kiss. It really is a cute post. Check it out if you have a chance. Anyway, while we were looking at her blog it got me thinking about how this neighborhood has changed in the year that Lynilu has been gone. My neighborhood used to be so nice and quiet with nice people. Now it seems that the neighborhood has gone to crap and even the people that were once nice seem to have turned a corner and are making it so easy for me to leave. So, I would like to personally thank my neighbors for making this huge change in my life so very easy. So, please meet my neighbors:
This is neighbor #1. He moved into his house about 3 years ago with his young son. He seemed very nice until he realized that Laura and I were not kin and were in fact partners. For about six months he would not speak to us and then out of nowhere started talking to us again. One of his many jobs is selling cars. It is not uncommon for him to have 5-6 cars parked in his driveway, on the street, in front of my house or in his backyard. I used to think that I would miss him when I moved, but not so much anymore. He is suspect #1 in the antifreeze incident.

Neighbor #2 is actually very unique. I have never in my life met such an asshole like him. When neighbor #2 moved in he moved in with his wife and 2 children. For the first year they were very quiet and I rarely saw them. Even in the summer I never saw the children except for when they were getting in the car. About a year ago this neighbor got a dog; a pitbull. The dog was constantly getting out of the yard and just roaming the streets. This dog even broke away from a couple chains that was tying up the dog. Several neighbors called animal control because it seemed like the dog was very thin. I have called animal control twice on him because not only does his dog get out, but it's not neutered. Having a pittbull that is not neutered is illegal in Kansas City. When Laura and I were having all those problems with the Fix-It Guys this neighbor showed up at our door at 8:30pm wanting to see our bathroom and the problems we were having. He said he did some repair work and said he could help us. I was like, "um, I don't don't like you and there is no way in hell I am letting you in my house at 8:30pm". He was not happy about that. Then when I first put the house up for sale he was asking me about how much equity we had in the house, etc. The topper was yesterday morning. I got out to mow the yard and my mower died. Of course it had to die right in front of him. He looked at me with this shitty grin and said, "maybe you should put some gas in it." I asked him why he was such an asshole and then put my earphones back on. I think of all the neighbors, he is the reason it's not hard to leave this house.

Meet neighbor #3. I used to really like them, but in the last 3 weeks he has really complained about the stray cats. I don't understand why all of a sudden the strays are a problem. The strays have been here longer then most of neighbors. This neighbor is suspect #2 in the antifreeze incident.

Meet neighbor #4. I used to love looking out at this house because this was where Lynilu lived. Now, I try not to go out back because of this neighbor. When he first moved in I really liked him and even talked to him a little bit. Then he became friends with Neighbor #2. Now Neighbor #2 and 4 stand out in the street and drink beer at 10:30am on Saturday mornings. I am all of drinking a beer, but isn't there a rule about drinking before noon?

Meet neighbor #5. A whole family moved in here last winter. I knew I was in trouble when Laura said, "I think that is one of my old students". Sure enough it was. Her old student is a sweet boy, but his other 5 or 6 siblings are crazy. They play their loud music all the time and play basketball in the middle of the night. Did I mention that my bedroom window is right next to their driveway? And they have the craziest dog. They allow it to run all over the place. I can be sitting on my front steps and it will come right up in my yard and just bark at me. I am just waiting for the day when neighbor #2's dog gets a hold of neighbor #5's 10lb dog.

So, that is my very unlovely neighborhood. But of course anyone that comes to look at the house I am going to only say how wonderful, quiet and friendly this neighborhood is.