My Friends

Yesterday I was talking about how I have really won in the boss department. Well, it seems God decided to show me another lesson today. I knew this, but God showed me today how I have really won in the friends department. I had a friend send me a brand new IPOD and new microwave today. Laura took the microwave we had and the only one I could afford was the cheap one at Walmart. Well, this week while I have been using it I noticed that 2 of my plates suddenly cracked while I was heating something up. I mentioned this to my friend. She sent me a new microwave because she was afraid the one I had was going to catch fire. As for the IPOD.....I love music and have always wished that I could take all the music I have downloaded with me in the car and other places. I would have never spent this kind of money on myself. After opening the packages today I was speechless. It made me realize that I have some of the best friends out there. Yes, my parents may totally suck, but God is making up for that in so many other areas of my life.

A Late Night

I ended up having a late night at work. I am responsible for conducting the fire/tornado/medical drills for the building. Because the clients are in a different building at night I had to go to the buildings tonight to do the tornado drill. I guess I should have planned it better since it was storming tonight. Oh well. One of my friends asked if I was a MSW or a safety monitor. There are many days that I feel more of a safety monitor then a MSW. Thankfully I love what I do and wouldn't change a thing.

Thank you all for your support and kind words in regards to my parents. I handle their rejection and lack of any parental love better then some days. Monday and Tuesday were not good days for me. I was feeling crappy and emotionally down. I hate when their hits come on days when I am feeling down anyway. Oh well...this too shall pass. I know I am a good person and I am just thankful that I did not learn about love and forgiveness from them. I often wonder where I did learn about love and forgiveness since it is so obvious I did not get it from them. Instead of thinking about it too much, I am just thankful that I do love and forgive better then my family.

I am feeling so much better. The antibiotics are really working. Yesterday when I was at work I was feeling pretty sick, but by 3pm I could tell a huge difference. I am glad I decided to go to the doctor on Monday because my face might have been the size of a balloon by now if I had not gone it. And I am thankful that my Dr. is so wonderful and gave me the samples instead of making me find an extra $200 that I don't have to get them.

I am truly blessed and I realize this every single day.

*The picture was taken on my way home tonight. I love the way the colors are reflecting off the street.*

Wordless Wednesday

1994

Wordless Wednesday

Email

My Mother emailed me last night. She was responding to an email I sent her 3 (yes, three) years ago. She was questioning my values. She was also questioning money that I do not owe them, but to them I do. She also said that I had not returned my Dad's call. I had no idea what she was talking about in terms of my Dad's call because I have not talked to him or received any messages from him.

In my email back to her I asked her if she would like to get together for lunch or dinner to discuss things.

Her response back to me was: "Only if you bring your checkbook".

Fucking unbelievable.

Mystery

When I woke up this morning I was feeling worse then I was yesterday. My face is still very swollen and my neck is extremely sore. I decided there was no way I could go into work and that I had to get into my doctor.

I was able to get into the doctor first thing this morning. Here's the thing: she has no idea what is going on with me. She said it is probably not my sinus' since I don't have any pain in the normal place if it's your sinus'. She then said the dreaded word "tooth" thinking it was one of my teeth, but I don't have any pain in my jaw and I am not having any trouble/pain when I chew.

Her conclusion: some type of facial infection. Huh? I am still trying to figure out what a facial infection is.

She was going to give me a RX for some antibiotics and I had to remind her that it needed to be on Walmart's $4 list since my insurance does not take affect until September. She then said she really wanted to put me on the stronger antibiotics. She then went and got me the antibiotics from their samples. She told me the seven pills she gave me were worth about $200. This is just one of the reasons I love my doctor so much.

I came home from the doctor and crashed. I still feel like crap and am trying to figure out how I am going to make it to work tomorrow. I have so much work to do, but if I am still feeling like this there is no way I can make it in tomorrow. Tell me I shouldn't feel bad if I miss another day tomorrow when I have only been working there for six weeks.

Feeling Under the Weather

For the last couple of days I have noticed mild congestion in my nose. I didn't think too much of it, but then the pain started. I woke up this morning feeling like I had been punched in the nose. My left nostril is very sore and swollen. My left side of my neck is also very sensitive to the touch. My guess is: a very bad sinus infection. I have a feeling that I need antibiotics, but I am not sure I can afford a visit to the doctor right now with no health insurance. I am going to see how I feel when I get up tomorrow morning and decide then.

I think I am also feeling a little overwhelmed right now thinking of all that I have to do in the next six weeks. I have to literally pack up my life from the last 9+ years and move it all into a one bedroom apartment. I am not sure how it will all fit in the apartment. Last night as I was going through all the stuff in the office I came across a lot of things that I had not looked at in years. My old yearbooks, old photo books and other stuff. I think looking at that stuff kind of got me down. I need to pack them away and not look at them again for a while. Life seemed so much more simple back when I was in high school and my first few years of college. Tell me again why I was so anxious to grow up?

Then there are my finances. I am making more then enough money, but where does it all seem to go? Between now and August I need to save a lot of money to pay for the movers and my pet deposit.

I have been wanting to go camping since January. I did get to keep the big tent and all the camping supplies, but it doesn't look like I will get to go camping this year. I was thinking of going by myself, but now sure about that. What do you guys think? The place that Laura and I used to go camping is a very nice, clean, safe place. I am sure I would be OK if I went by myself, but not sure I could put the tent up by myself. Right at this moment, I would give my right arm to get away for a few days in the wilderness.

One great thing did happen today: Patti Cake called me. It was so great talking to her and hearing her voice. She sounds exactly the way I thought she would sound. I now have a voice to what she writes on her blog.

What is it about Sundays? I have never liked them for some reason. I am sure I am the only person saying "I can't wait for Monday to get here".

Haircut Time

This morning I took Sophie (dog) to the groomer for her summer shave. With her thick black hair she is usually miserable during the summer so I have her shaved. She always feels better, but it takes her a few days to get used to having very little hair. I am always happy after she is shaved because there is less hair to vacuum up. For the last 3 weeks I have been vacuuming on a daily basis because of all the hair she is shedding. I have the comforter and sheets in the wash because they are covered with hair. It will be nice to be back to "normal" around here with not so much hair flying around.

I have had my new phone for 2 months now and I just figured out how to email pictures from it. Well, I should say I finally took the time to figure out how to email pictures from the phone. Sophie and I were a little early to the groomer, so we had to wait in the car for a while. (note the quality of picture....I love how good the pictures are from my phone)
Here Sophie is wondering if we are going to either New Mexico or St. Louis. Poor dog is so confused with all the driving we have been doing.

Here is her sigh of relief to know that we are just going to the groomer.

After I dropped her off at the groomer I had to go into work for a few hours. It was time to surprise the techs on the weekend and to do a fire drill. I was happy to see that they were doing exactly what they should have been doing and we did the fire drill with no problem.

One last thing: On Thursday I did a post about my friend Bobbi who was having a birthday. Well, please say some prayers for her. She is being admitted to the hospital today for some serious medical concerns. You can also go to her blog and send her some well wishes. I know she is feeling pretty scared right now and it would be great if she knew there were lots of us out here that are keeping her in our thoughts and prayers.

Update on Sophie Cat

Sophie cat came through the surgery just fine!!!

She had a ruptured ear drum which was causing the problem. They do not know yet if the eye can be saved. They said it may take a week or so for them to know the extent of the damage to the eye.

But she is doing just fine and that is the important thing. Laura said she was getting around just fine yesterday with just her right eye working. So, if she should lose the left eye we know she will be alright.

Thank you for all your prayers; they worked!!

Prayers for Sophie Cat

Laura just called me and Sophie cat is not doing good.

When Sophie left here she had a pretty bad infection in her ear. The vet in KC said it was ok for her to travel, but to take her to the vet when she got to Shreveport. Laura was suppose to take her tomorrow morning to the vet, but this morning Sophie woke Laura up at 5:30am. When Laura looked at her her left eye was all white. It was as if the eye had rolled back completely.

Laura got her to the vet and turns out this infection has damaged some of the nerves in her eye. She is having surgery tomorrow morning to correct the problem. The vet does not know if she can save the eye.

Please say lots of prayers for Sophie cat. (and for Laura for that fact)

Summer Birthday Wishes

Today is the first day of summer and boy does it feel like that. It's going to be so hot for the next 3-4 days. I am thinking of going to the pool this weekend to get some relief. Plus, when I was getting out of the shower today I noticed that I have a minor farmers tan. My upper arms need sun so badly. So, if all goes right I should be at the pool at least one day this weekend. I can't wait until August because I will be able to just walk down to the wonderful pool that my apartment complex has.

Today is Eye of the Rainbow's birthday. Make sure you go over and wish her a happy Birthday. She is one incredible woman and has been a great friend to me over the last couple of months. There were many days when I would call and she would talk to me for hours telling me that everything would be OK. In fact, that first weekend that Laura went to Shreveport, she was the first person to call me and see how I was doing. Thanks Bobbi for being my friend and seeing me through this journey that I have been on. You made the road easier. I love you my friend.

Wordless Wednesday (Sort Of)

Usually on Wordless Wednesday I just do a post with a picture, no words. But I feel that I need to write a little with this post. This morning Sophie cat made her journey down to Shreveport with Laura. Sophie has been depressed the last month or so and I know it's because she really missed Laura. So, it's good that she is with Laura, but I still miss her.

Sophie and I kind of got off to a rough start. Laura and I had been together for 8 months before she brought Sophie from her parents. Laura was concerned that Sophie would not be able to go up and down our stairs (she is a little, ok a lot overweight, plus she has bad hips from being hit by a car when she was younger) and also worried because Sophie had never been around other cats. So in January 2005 we decided to bring her to our house. A few weeks before she came to stay with us, Laura's Mom told us that Sophie had been to the vet and had an infection on her back leg. With her being so overweight her legs tend to rub together. Well, when we got her the infection was getting better, but it was made worse after a trip to the groomer. So, Sophie was put on antibiotics for 4 weeks. (it was a bad infection) I was the only one that was able to give Sophie her pills 3x a day. Because of this, Sophie decided she hated me. It's been a struggle ever since then to get on her good side.

I am sad to see Sophie cat leave, but know it's best for her to be with her Mom. I know she will be a lot happier now that she is with Laura again.

On another note: next month Laura is coming to get Bonk. She was going to take Bonk this trip, but decided driving 9+ hours with 2 cats would be too much. I am happy that I have one more month with Bonk. I can tell you this, that is going to be a very hard goodbye for me.

The Right Kind of Love

I've done a lot of thinking the last 24-48 hours. And I realized I was really wrong about something. It's hard to admit that I was wrong, but since admitting I was wrong I have felt so much better about myself.

As many of you may have guessed the decision I had to make in the last couple of days was to really slow things down with STL. I still think she is a wonderful, caring and kind person. But here is where I realized I was wrong about something; I am not ready to be in a serious relationship. I realized this sometime last week when STL and I were discussing what we were going to do about the 250 miles between our homes. We talked seriously about me moving to St. Louis and I started looking at jobs in St. Louis. We looked at apartments for me and even had one picked out. At the time my only concern was telling my current work. I love the job I have now and I love the people I work with. I knew they were really happy with the work I was/am doing and I knew they would be very disappointed. As the days went on I kept thinking that something was not feeling right about all of this. I told myself it was just fear of moving to a new city and finding a new job. Even with more reassurance from STL I was still not feeling right about everything.

Finally yesterday morning I realized that I could not move to St. Louis at this time. I told STL and she was understandably very upset with me and the decision I had made. I think she felt like I had made a decision without talking to her first. Part of the reason I did not discuss it with her first was because I knew what I needed to do and I did not want to be talked out of it. STL is still upset and I may have ruined something that could have been very good, but I just feel like I need a little more time to be on my own, heal my old wounds and learn to live on my own for the very first time. I just keep telling myself that if it's meant to work out then it will all work out the way it's suppose to.

I was upset last night because I had hurt STL. As I went up to bed Sophie was on the bed. I laid down next to her and I told her that maybe I will just be in love with her for a while. After all, she always has given me the right kind of love.

You know when you do something wrong and someone says "I told you so"? I never liked it when people would say that to me and I would appreciate not hearing that in regards to this. I know many of you tried to tell me that maybe it was a little soon, but I think the only way for me to really know this was to get my feet wet. I now know and I regret anyone that has been hurt from this. I sincerely ask for your forgiveness.

Alone With My Thoughts

I have learned a couple important lesson this past week: It's no fun sifting through shit and it's not fair to have someone else sift through your shit.

It's not been a good couple of days in Caroline in the City World. I have made some mistakes and there are a few that I am not sure I can correct. And even if I can correct them, it will take a lot of time and patience.

But I have to remember that even though some have been hurt by me in the last couple days, sometimes you have to make a decision to no longer hurt someone no matter what that means or how much that person hurts from that decision.

I think it's now time for me to be alone with just my thoughts.

Thoughts of Syd

Today was one of the last moving days for Laura. She took 2 car loads today and will get the rest tomorrow.

As we were moving all the stuff out today we would just leave it in the yard until we got it packed in the car/truck.

Seeing the mattress set in the grass, the bed frame and of course the drawers from the dresser like we were redneck made me think of Syd for some reason. Huh, I wonder why?

Sold

As of 6:00pm tonight my house is officially sold. Part of me is very excited, but there is a part of me that is also very sad since it was my Grandmothers house.

The house has only been on the market for two weeks and we did not go through a realtor. I am thrilled that someone came and looked at it and fell in love with it. We decided to do a "rent to own" option for the couple that is buying it. This will allow them a few years to get financing on their own. The young couple that is buying the house is a very cute couple. They just found out that they are expecting their first child this winter. When we called them and told them they had the house they were so excited that they said to celebrate this new beginning they were going to get married today before signing the paperwork.

So I have about 6 weeks left in the house. Like I said I am happy and excited for the fresh start I will be getting, but also feel a great deal of sadness over leaving the house. I realized that this house is the last connection I have to my family. I want to make sure that I remember each moment I have left in the house. But I need to remember that sometimes I have to get rid of things in order to cleanse myself. A very good friend told me that leaving the house will be a cleansing for my soul. I could not agree with her more.

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to something in order to welcome something more wonderful into your life.

Hand Over the Chocolate

I must be PMSing (although I swear it's a couple weeks early) because today while I was at lunch my only thought was, "how much junk food can I get". I was excited to find this candy. I don't have them that often, but when I do find them it's like I am a small child with all my excitement. I don't usually have a sweet tooth, but every so often I can't get enough chocolate. Today is one of those days.

Tell me what some of your favorite candy is and why you love it.

Life Changing Decisions

When I was in college getting my bachelors degree I decided to drop out just 3 semesters away from graduation. I was tired of school and thought I wanted to take a different path than being a social worker. Two years after dropping out my ex husband and I got into a horrible fight one night. I was so upset that I left our apartment and went to my parents house. As I was sitting at my parents house crying, my Mom looked at me and said, "What is it you want Caroline?" Out of nowhere I said I wanted to go back to school to get my degree in Social Work. I didn't think about how I was going to support myself while in school or any of the other details. All I knew was I wanted to go back and finish my degree. Within 3 days I was enrolled back in school. The next two years (because I was starting in August I had to take an extra semester of classes) were the best. I enjoyed every class I was taking and became life long friends with 4 of my classmates.

After my ex husband and I split up in 2000 I decided that I wanted to get my masters degree. Once again I did not think too much about the details, but just stepped out in faith. Not only did I get into graduate school, but I got into the accelerated program which meant I would get my masters degree in just 3 semesters. At the time I applied to graduate school I didn't think about how I was going to support myself while I was not working, but just knew it would work out somehow. I completed graduate school on the Deans List and was always thankful that I took that chance.

The best decisions in my life have always been made by stepping out and facing my fears. Each time I have stepped out and faced my fears head on, the end result has always been rewarding and life changing.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Holy Smoke

Well, today has turned out to be a very interesting and exciting day. I was at work doing my normal work thing when the power flickered on and off a couple of times. Once it stopped I noticed the air was no longer on. I continued doing what I was doing when the power flickered again and then the power went off for good. I didn't think too much of it until I heard the building manager in the office next to me talking on the phone. I heard him say, "Hi this is Jeff and we have a fire in the building and I have called 911 and we are getting everyone out of the building." I was thinking what the hell, a fire!! Then my next thought was getting all the clients out of the building. Not only do we have 40 inpatient clients, but we had probably 100 outpatient clients, staff members and kids in the daycare. I walk out of my office and it is mild chaos. I can already hear the fire trucks on their way. I grabbed my stuff and started helping out with getting clients out of the building and to the other side of the street. It turns out that we had a transformer blow right next to the building that started a small fire. Once they realized that it was not a fire out of control and there was no danger then they let us back in the building. The only problem: there was no power to the building. So, we sent all the clients home and took the inpatient clients to the*apartments* they stay at during the night. The good news from all of this: staff was sent home at 12:30pm for the day. So, I got 1/2 day off thanks to a small electrical fire.

This 1/2 day off could not have happened on a better day. At 7:30 this morning STL called me and said that she really wanted to spend a couple days with me in KC and that she took 3 days vacation and was on her way to KC. Can I tell you how happy I am to see STL and be able to spend some more time with her and show her my city.

So here we are, me and STL sitting here tonight and life could not be better.

World...Meet STL

I was going to wait until Wordless Wednesday to show my world STL, but I just couldn't wait. So, world...this is STL. I think this is one of my new favorite pictures of her. We had been hanging out in her favorite part of St. Louis and were having lunch at her favorite Coffee Shop. This picture shows her kind face and eyes and her very warm smile. She has one of the most gentle souls of anyone I have met. I never knew love could feel this good and that I would find someone that has been waiting for me as long as I have been waiting for her.

STL and I had another wonderful weekend. I keep thinking that there has to be a limit to her kindness, but it just seems to keep coming. Each time we have to leave each other it gets harder. I am not sure how much longer we will be able to keep up this whole distance thing. We've talked about what our options are and some of the decisions we have already made are exciting.

It's going to be a long 9 days before I get to see STL again. She will be coming to town on the 19th for a couple of days. I am excited to show her what my world looked like before she made her grand entrance. Then a day after she returns back to St. Louis I will drive back to St. Louis to go camping with her and her friends and we will end the weekend by attending Pride in St. Louis. To me that will be the perfect weekend, but then again every weekend I have shared with her has been perfect.

In all of this I have had only one fear. It scares me to think where I would be if I had not met STL.

24 Hours

It's been a crazy 24 hours. I am so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open. Here is a brief description of my last 24 hours:

Thursday 5pm: Got off work

Thursday 6pm: Got into bed to try to get some sleep since I had to be at work at midnight to work third shift

Thursday 8pm: Woke up and unable to go back to sleep.

Thursday 9:45pm: Finally got up and gave up trying to get some more sleep.

Thursday 10:30pm: Left the house for work. I decided that maybe if I went in early I could leave a little early.

Thursday 11:45pm: Arrived at work. It doesn't usually take me more then an hour to get to work, but I was talking to STL on the phone.

Friday 12:30am: I am starting to feel tired.

Friday 2:00am: I realize that I still have 6 hours left of work.

Friday 3:59am: Give up trying to stay awake and head home. I decided I will just work my last 4 hours next week.

Friday 4:21am: Arrive home

Friday 4:53am: Get into bed

Friday 7:37am: Wake up and realize it feels like I have been hit by a truck since I am so tired.

Friday 8:33am: Get on the road to go see STL.

I guess I could have gone home and slept for a few hours, but I wanted to see my girl. My drive was very smooth and once I stopped and got some breakfast I was feeling much better. I think my body was just really hungry. I realized that I did not eat dinner last night so that was probably adding to me being so tired.

But I am here now and suddenly my lack of sleep does not seem that bad.

It is so good seeing STL again.

Lost

It appears I am lost. All my friends are trying to figure out where I have gone.

For the past two weeks I have neglected several things in my life. I have not been to the grocery store since Memorial Day Weekend. My lack of finding 15 minutes to pick up a few things from the store means there is nothing in my house to eat. I did find a couple Chicken Pot Pies in my freezer, but after cooking one I realized they have major freezer burn. I am sure they got that way from me standing with the freezer door open trying to figure out what I am going to eat. For the past two weeks I have been trying to figure out how I can find time to wash my comforter. It's had dog hair on it and really needs to be washed.

There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. My work schedule is so different then my last job. I am literally running around from the minute I walk in until I go home 8 hours later. I realized yesterday that my cellphone bill is due on Friday and I have not mailed the payment yet. Thank God I can make a payment online.

I am the kind of person that does not like it when the gas in my car gets below half a tank. Yesterday as I was driving home I realized my gas light was on. I kept thinking, "I wonder how long I have been driving with it on." I held my breathe as I pulled into a gas station. I am sure by that point I was on fumes.

So, I am apologizing to all my friends out there that think I have dropped off the face of the earth. I am still here and I am doing really good. Really good. I did tell Lynilu (after 3 calls and one frantic email) that I am sorry for not responding, but if I keep blogging then you know I am OK.

But you want to know something: I love being lost.

Stolen Meme

I stole this from Tropopause. Enjoy.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Well, when I was first born my parents named me Jennifer Jane and Jane was after my Dad's Mom. When I was 6 weeks old they changed it to Caroline Ann. I guess Caroline was also a family name on my Dad's side.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? My handwriting has a personality all it's own. There are times when I do like it, but other times when I can't read what I just wrote. So, I guess my handwriting depends on my mood and if I am rushed.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? This is probably crazy, but I love the Carl Budding Chicken. To me it's good and cheap.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not yet. Check back in a few years and the answer may be different.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I do if I am in a bad mood. But other then that, no I do not. I don't think....

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I love Cheerios, but someone got me hooked on Captain Crunch. I forgot how good the sugary cereals are. Oh, and just so you know, Captain Crunch is best after midnight, but before 6am.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Rocky Road

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? It's a tie....hair and eyes.

RED OR PINK? If I had to pick one, I would pick Red.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? When I am tired I have like NO patience.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My nephews

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jean Capri's and black Crocs

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow

FAVORITE SMELLS? I love the smell when it snows outside. Always smells so clean and crisp. Also, I love the way Sophie dog smells. Most would say it's just a "dog" smell, but I love it.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My boss

HAIR COLOR? Light Brown

EYE COLOR? Blue

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes

FAVORITE FOOD? Mexican

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings...but a good psychological thriller is also very good.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I have sat here for 5 minutes trying to think..and I really don't know. I think maybe it was "I Am Sam" when it was on TV a few weeks ago. Really I have not watched anything on TV for 2 weeks. Huh, I wonder why?

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue

SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter

HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses

FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate Cake

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Again, no time to read fun books. I have been reading the Policy Manual for my job. Not too fun.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? The TV was on, but I wasn't really watching. I think Kathy Griffin's "My Life on the D List" was on. I taped it and I am trying to figure out when I am going to watch it.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOUND? A baby or toddler laughing

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME. London

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I remember dates really well. Also, I am good at telling you what day of the week a certain date will fall on. Don't believe me...try me and I promise not to look at a calender.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Um, I used to think I was not strong, but looking back on my life and all the obstacles I have overcome (and continue to overcome) I would say I am pretty strong.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Done

OK, I am angry about a couple things today.

1) I am angry that Laura continues to give me empty promises in regards to her responsibilities. Last time I checked, if your name is still on the mortgage it doesn't matter if you live there or not; you can't just walk away from that. Well, you can, but it's not a pretty picture.


2) I am angry that I continue to believe those empty promises.


She is going to find that she is dealing with a different Caroline then she has for the last three months.

I am done being nice.

STL Part 2

Ok, since my last post was mainly pictures I thought I would tell you more about my weekend.

Friday morning at work was c-r-a-z-y. As I left for lunch I called STL and told her that the morning was crazy (and add that I had no sleep from working 2nd shift) and I told her that the afternoon was bound to slow down a little. Boy was I wrong. When I got back there was a message from one of my techs that was due to be into work in 90 minutes telling me she would not be able to make it in cause she was sick. I started calling people to see if they could work at the last minute and everyone I called (and I called everyone) said no and I think were even a few "hell no's" in there. I knew that if I couldn't find someone to cover her shift I was going to have to work until 8pm. Because the clients were going to an outside AA meeting we had to have 2 techs that could drive. Finally at the last minute I called someone and they said yes. Whew. I had already decided that if I had to work I was still going to drive to St. Louis when I got off. It would have been a long day, but well worth it.

I got on the road around 5:30pm. There seemed to be a little bit of traffic, but not too bad. I had been on the road for about 90 minutes when the pick up truck in front of me had a blow out. It really scared me. Thankfully the guy kept control of the car and managed to pull off the road. I wasn't that close, but I still had parts of his tire fly up onto my car. I took some cool pictures of the stormy sky that were just gorgeous. But I am saving those for Wordless Wednesday. I arrived in St. Louis just before 9pm.

Like I mentioned it is scary how much STL and I have in common. I just really enjoyed sitting and talking with her this weekend. It's nice being able to talk to someone and actually see their facial expression when you say something. We really didn't do that much because we were both so tired from the lack of sleep in the past week.

We had several conversations about which city is better: St. Louis or Kansas City. The two cities are like siblings that are constantly fighting. I am not sure where the whole competition started, but the two cities are major rivals in all areas. Sadly, she won all arguments when it came to the professional sports. (damn Chiefs and Royals) I did tell her that no matter how much I liked her I would always be a Chiefs fan. I know I will never hear the end of this, but I think I do like the Cardinals better then the Royals.

STL was suppose to come to Kansas City this weekend, but she is not able to make it to some plans she already had. So, Sophie and I are venturing back to St. Louis this weekend. So I can have a 3 day weekend I am working my regular hours on Thursday (830-5) and then I am going back to the office at midnight and will work until 8:30am. I am planning on going home after my first shift on Thursday to get some sleep. It's going to be a long drive, but luckily STL said she knows I will be tired and will probably come in and go right to bed.

Until next time.....

STL

Ok, it's probably no surprise to many of you that I went to see STL this past weekend in St. Louis. We decided earlier in the week that we just needed to see if the connection we were feeling on the phone was the same in person. I dropped a few hints during the week (I am horrible at keeping secrets), but I didn't want to come out and say what I was doing until I had already made the adventure. Here are few pics from my visit with STL this weekend.

The drive was beautiful to St. Louis. We were expecting storms, but I managed to avoid most of the nasty ones. The clouds were so beautiful on my drive.

There were very few problems driving there. But this stupid mini van, which was filled with people kept passing me and each time they drove by they would all look at me and laugh. I was like "what the hell?" So I pulled out my camera and took their picture. If I had more guts I would have pulled up right next to them and taken their picture. I do think they knew I took their picture because after I took it they pressed on the gas and were gone. I am sure they were all saying, "speed up there is a crazy bitch in that car".

Another beautiful picture of the storms that were all around me. I loved this one of the rainbow. After this weekend I realized that there really is gold at the end of a rainbow.

Sophie did a wonderful job in the car and once we got to STL's house. STL has a huge fenced in back yard and Sophie felt right at home. There was even a dog next door that she became friends with.

This is STL's cat Sybil. Her cats kind of freaked out when Sophie and I first got there. By this morning Sybil was in the same room as us and her motor was just a running. Very sweet cat.

I kept using the word "amazing" over the weekend because that is all I could think of to describe STL and the connection we had from the very start. When I got to STL's house we picked up right where we had left off on the phone. We talked literally from the minute I got there until I left this afternoon. It is scary of all the things we have in common. I mean really freaky scary. While I was there I didn't care about my cellphone, my email or my blog. All I wanted to do was talk to her and get to know her better.

Leaving today was very hard. How in the world could I come back to Kansas City when my heart is still in St. Louis.

Stay tuned for more on this developing story......

Sleepless in Kansas City

Do I need to tell anyone how tired I am this morning? Working 2nd shift and then having to be back here bright and early is very hard. Oh, and add that when I got home last night I had to finish packing then you will have one very tired girl. As soon as I put my head on my pillow last night I was out. It couldn't have been more then a few minutes when heard this horrible crash. Apparently my cat Bonk tried to jump from the bed to the dresser and didn't quite make it. It seemed like the crashing sound was so long. I jumped up, turned the light on and made sure she was ok. Thankfully she was. She looked as startled as I did. But then I was wide awake. Once I did managed to get back to sleep it only lasted about an hour. I woke up because I was choking. I am still coughing a little and it seems to be only at night now. But I managed to get back to sleep, but it only lasted maybe another hour. We had a thunderstorm move in and there was this horrible clap of thunder that woke me up. My cat Ben had been sleeping next to me, but when he heard the thunder and then the ground shaking he went running. Again I was wide awake. I managed to get back to sleep until my alarm went off at 7:15am. But I am so tired today.

When I get off this afternoon I am going home to pick up Sophie and pack the car. Our drive isn't that long, but when you are tired any drive seems long. Oh, and we are suppose to get severe thunderstorms all this afternoon. I hope my drive is smooth with no problems. I know when I get where I am going I am going to crash. But all this lack of sleep will be worth it.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.