I continue to struggle with my depression. It's weird though because one minute I am feeling fine and the next I am in tears. I just want all of this to be over and done with. I am tired of working through my emotions. I am tired of feeling.
I wish I had someone here to help with the burden of all of this. It is so hard dealing with all of this when everything you once knew is gone. I have more friends then I have fingers, but I still feel more alone then ever.
I want someone that is here everyday that can help me work through all of this. I am tired of the only noise coming from the house is the TV. I miss talking with someone everyday.
Today, right at this moment, life is hard. I know it will not be like this forever, but right now I struggle to see how I can put up with one more day of this.
I just want to sleep. I just want a break from all of this. Can I not catch a break?
I know God does not give you more then you can handle, but I feel I am at my limits here and I don't see any relief in sight. I just want some relief.
I need help with all of this.
11 comments:
You're not alone hon!!! We love ya, just wish we could be closer to help you out!
I am so sorry that you are in this rotten place right now, but I know from experience that when you get through it (and you will!) things will be SO good for you! You are "shedding" some old stuff. There's a book that has helped me through some bad depression in my life called "Zen Through Depression". I know it's hard to read a book when depressed, but this one is easy because you can read a page and then put it down.
Just know that a lot of us are thinking about you - reach out if you want to, let us help take care of you.
Julie
jheimer@mindspring.com
(((hugs)))
One day at a time. I know how trite that sounds, but it's true, time does heal.
There's an excellent book I'd recommend for you, it's entitled How to Survive the Loss of a Love by by Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, and Melba Colgrove.
My therapist gave it to me when I was trying to end a severely toxic relationship that had such a hold on me that I thought I would die from the pain it brought. This book helped a lot in the healing process.
Blogging will be cathartic for you as well -- it will help you to put into words those niggling thoughts that have been hanging out in the back of your brain, that you've been hesitant to give words to.
Call someone who is close by and can give you the physical contact you need. Do it Caroline.
I wish I lived closer to you. What I really wish is you had that "special" someone like you thought Laura was. I know that is what you want most.
Do you think you might feel better once you get back to work? Interacting more with people everyday may help. Hugs and prayers,
jojo
I'm sorry it's all so hard. Have you thought about talking with someone weekly fora bit (or more often)? I might help. And you always have this forum. Just keep talking. Talk talk talk...soon, other things to talk about will come into play. Just keep breathing in and out...it will all come back together.
Stand strong girl....we are all right here. We may not be able to comfort you by our hugs, but our words should help.
Force yourself to enjoy something everyday...find it and do it.
~pj
I've been there, and I remember there wasn't a whole lot that anyone could say to make it better, or to make that awful feeling go away. So I understand what you mean about having friends, but that it doesn't necessarily help.
Do what you're doing now, keep telling yourself that it will get better. That's your bright spot to look forward to. And to quote my mom's favorite quote in the world, "Happiness is having something to look forward to." You have that in abundance. :)
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. I understand what this is like. I hope in time all will be better.
Hang in there.
Post a Comment