Well, today has been interesting to say the least.
I woke up this morning at 6am and within a few minutes I was having bad/negative thoughts. I got through the next couple of hours by saying "peace, love and happiness". I got up, made my lunch and took care of all the animals before I headed out. I had to go have my TB test read first thing. I got that taken care of...no TB...YEA. Not that I was concerened.
I then got to the job and right away I was feeling like this wasn't right. They had a big all staff breakfast and it was overwhelming meeting all those new people when I was feeling like I didn't want to be there. I sat through an hour of hearing about the agency and the job I would be doing. I kept feeling that this was not where I wanted to be. At the break I went out and called Laura. I didn't feel that I had to talk to her, but I just want to get her opinion on me telling them I couldn't work there. I was almost in a panic for some reason. Laura and I talked and she said that I needed to do what was best for me. That's when I told her that I was going to tell them I could not work there. I was already feeling relief. It's not that I don't want to go back to work, I do, but I was not meant to be at this job. I admitted to myself that I only took the job because I knew we were going to Florida and the money would come in handy.
So I went inside to break the news to my supervisor. How awkward it is when you have to tell your supervisor of one hour that you are quitting. Because I was having a positive attitude I knew I was doing the right thing. My supervisor in turn was very positive to me. I didn't go into much detail, but I told her that since I had accepted the position there had been a lot of changes in my life and I was feeling like this job was not where I was meant to be. After a few minutes of conversation she told me that they were very impressed with me and that if I ever decided this was the job for me all I had to do was call them and they would hire me again. How wonderful is that. I didn't expect that reaction, but I was happy with the kindness.
I then walked out of the building feeling better then I have in months. For the first time in a long time I did something for CAROLINE and no one else. As I walked out my spirit seemed lighter. I knew I was doing the best thing. I have no idea what the end outcome will be in regards to me working, but I have faith that I will end up where I am suppose to be.
I interviewed at an agency last week and the interview went really well. I should hear from this next week if they want a second interview. Then today I was looking on a local website for nonprofit jobs in KC and came across a position open at a agency I worked with at my last job. They were in the same coalition as us. I emailed my resume to the director who I sat next to at many many meetings. I am excited about all the possibilities that are ahead for me.
I am even thinking of moving out of Kansas City. I would love to live in a Northern State. I have always preferred the cold over the heat.
So who knows...Caroline in the City just might be moving to another City.
14 comments:
And I have just the city for you! :)
Seriously, I'm sorry the job didnt' work out as you had hoped (especially after all the drug testing mess) but happy to hear that you are feeling positive and happy. You're right; the job you are meant to have will come along.
Good for you! That had to take a lot of courage, but you did something you want for you!
Sounds like some big changes are just around the corner.
And good for you. . . most of us wouldn't have made that kind of decision: the brave one.
Come to Minneapolis, hon! Best health care in the States, and good dental plans too!
I'm glad you dropped a trail of crumbs along the path! It's never wrong to change directions when you feel it is not right for you.
And Sandra, Caroline loves the kind of weather you have there, so look out! She might move in next door to you! She's a handful, so watch her carefully!
Caroline YAY for you. That took guts girl and I am so proud of you. Definitely think about moving. A change of scenery might be just the ticket for you!
casey--portland is always an option for me. i love rainy and cloudy days
sassy--it did take a lot of courage b/c i have never done anything like that
ragged--so many changes that are so good right now. it feels great
sandra--don't you have a house for sale?????
lynilu--hey now. you know you loved living next to me.
patti--i had thought about just moving to a new house in kc, but then i realized there is nothing keeping me from leaving.
Wow, I don't know if I could have done that, but only because I know changes like new jobs always feel bad to me for the first month or so while I'm getting acclimated. I know most people aren't as weird about that as I am though, so I'm sure it was best for you to go with your gut. I'm glad you're making choices for you! And if you are willing to try another city, you can probably set up a situation that is just right for you -- no settling.
Always go with your gut instinct..
Words to live by! :)
Man- have you been taking lessons from Syd, you daredevil you?
Way braver than I've ever been.
amy--i usually don't feel too nervous my first few weeks at a new job. you can always use the excuse "i'm new" when you make a mistake. it's the times when you've been at a job for a year and you make a big mistake. Ohhh.. you are so correct...no settling.
jen--boy was my gut instinct tell me that i shouldn't be there. i have only had that feeling a few times and when i do i know it's not right
yankeegirl--i have seen how brave syd is. i guess she is rubbing off on me. :)
Caroline, I've been reading but not commenting much. You've been on my mind alot lately. The Pacific Northwest is a great place to live! Come on up!
Oh, boy do I ever have a house for sale!!!
traci--hi. i do love the northwest and that is one of the places that I am considering.
sandra--i think we need to talk.
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