Lessons

I have my orientation for my new job this morning. It will be good to get out and do something other then think about what went wrong with Laura and I. I still miss her greatly. But I am learning that I don't miss her from the last two weeks, but I miss the 2+ years before that. I don't know how this situation is going to play out in the end and I am not sure I want to know right now.

I am slowly accepting the fact that the Laura that I knew is no longer there. I am learning that the relationship we had as partners is no longer. I know she will always be a part of my life, but the reality that she is no longer my partner is the hardest to accept at this moment. But she has the right to be happy (and so do I), and if she is not happy with me then I need to learn to accept that so I can move on and be happy.

I have been praying to God each day (several times) for strength. For the second night in a row I slept all through the night. Getting up at 3am thinking about all of this is torture on my soul. I am just thankful for sleeping pills right now because I think they are the only reason I am able to sleep through the night.

Each day that I get up I am learning how to live without Laura as my partner. Being that this is something that is so new to me I am just taking it day by day. There are even moments where I am taking it minute by minute. But I have to believe that I will get through this and in the end I will be a stronger person on the other side.

Thank you for all the support I have received. Having such wonderful friends has made the fact that my family is not there for me a little easier to swallow.